A highlight from Looking After Yourself After Losing Someone

Mentally Yours
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Podcast about all things mental health. Today we're talking with Robin and Emma, their best friends and their authors of a new book called it's your loss. It's all about living with grief and how we get through it. So we're going to be talking with her about all kinds of loss, how people process things and how friends can help you through it. So welcome to mentally yours guys. To get us started, can you introduce yourselves with your names, so everyone knows who's speaking when? So I'm Robin and I'm Emma. Excellent. And you guys are friends and you're also the authors of a new book called it's your loss, which is all about loss. Can you talk to us first about how you guys became friends and how long you've known each other? I think you tell this story much better than I do. I always come out of it really well when Robin tells them story. Well, we met for the first time before we actually knew we've met for the first time. So when we were in uni, both of us got pulled onto the stage, a DJ Yoda gig. And our Friends were collectively horrified with us. And we were like, but we're dancing. And really drunk. And then subsequently when we knew each other, one of us saw this anecdote and the other one said, oh, but I was still the girl on the stand. So we had a lovely dance with each other. But when we truly message each other, I was in a boutique in Nottingham and Emma came in and brought in this covering letter. And it was the funniest covering letter I had ever read. It was so well written. It was so funny and I was just like, oh my God, I need this woman to be in my life and be my colleague. So she did about three shifts and then we just sort of became friends. No regrets so far. Is this sounds like a RomCom kind of thing? Like a great love story, the fact that you met before actually meeting. It's very like it's fate that you guys are meant to be friends. Yeah, like sliding doors. Yeah, we were meant to be. Yeah. And we look, I joke that I look a bit like Emma's parasitic twin. It's similar, but I look like the less well developed ones. So there's me. He's very short and like, hello. And then there's Emma who's this beautiful Garzon but with fundamentally the same faces. Like I say I come out of that story really well when Robin tells it. He's nice. I would love if one of my friends said that they were like my parasitic twin. I mean, that's the dream. On a less cheery note, both of you guys have experienced loss of your mom's. Can you tell us a bit about how basically each tells your story about that? And then also how you guys helped each other through that and having gone through a similar experience. Yeah, I think one of the strange things that happened after Robin had kind of forced me to be her friend is that we started going out. And we would do weird things like we'd go bowling or with make drunk with searches and make our friends do them when we were on nights out. And then I think it was one drunk bowling night. We kind of confessed to each other on the street that we were both going through a really tough time and that both of our best women in the world, so my mom and Robinson, who was to all intents and purposes, her mom as well. Both had cancer and we were young. We were in our early 20s at that point. And I remember just kind of, I think we cried on the street together. And it was this moment that I think bonded us forever, just to go back to that RomCom thing. You know there's kind of that breakthrough moment when everyone kind of gels and comes together. And I think that kind of sense of loss and togetherness in life is kind of like boundaries because not many people at 24 or whatever are going through that. So we kind of helped each other through that. And, you know, my mom was she got breast cancer that had spread to her bones, and she was living very far away on this tiny Scottish island. I just started going to university and I would come back to Nottingham for the summers, which is where I met Robin. And it was really tough. My mom was like my safe space in the world. She was my favorite person ever and a bit like my also my twin. I am friends with people who don't think exactly like me. But it was this really hard moment in life of trying to navigate being 20 and being in this new place at university and getting on with all that work and stuff. And then kind of having the rug pulled out from under my feet at the same time with this impending loss of my favorite person. And I think having Robin through that really gave me a little escape pod. It was quite different, so my non had been like I said my mom really, since I was very little, I've been strange for a moment and live with my mom from being 9 onwards that was brought by my dad. But my grandparents were heavily involved in had lived with them on and off and just they were incredible. And kind of very much parent age that none was my age now when I was born so she was 36. So she was just the best.

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