Esther Parole, Poland, Antwerp discussed on TED Radio Hour


Grew up in Antwerp in Belgium in a community that was all Jewish Holocaust survivors. My parents came from Poland to Belgium. They both were the sole survivors of their entire family. They both spent years in concentration camps and then where five years illegal refugees in Belgium as well before I am born. Um and my parents would never have married if it wasn't for the war. My mother came from an educated I Socratic Hasidic family. My father was basically illiterate. They did not belong to the same worlds. My parents are circumstantial marriages. Like many post war marriages. I've lost everything. You've lost everything. I'm alone. You're alone. Let's get married. But my dad adored my mother. He worshiped her. He admired her and she loved being admired. So he worked very well. But their view was you need to want to stay together and you need to make compromises. I mean, as you said, it sounds like a lot of survivors had real trauma in common. That's what brought them together. But did it also keep those relationships going to a lot of survivors? After did war and after they had kind of ended the initial stage of rebuilding and locating themselves and creating a new lives and having Children right away to prove that they're still human? Would look at each other and say we have nothing in common. Hmm. What am I doing here? But they would never divorce again because they couldn't bear the loss of one more time. Don't look I had is that when my parents would look at each other, they actually shared a tremendous amount. They loved life. They had those weather Viv and they lived. They rejoiced in the things that the other one like to do and went to do for themselves. Stairs, parents transformed their trauma into a partnership that celebrated life together. They became even more resilient. And right now, many of us are looking at our lives and wondering Will this time, destroy or strengthen our relationships? So today on the show. We're spending the hour with Esther Parole and her ideas about how we can all build long lasting relationships in romance, our families and even at work..

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