At least it wasn't in the pronounced way than it was when I had synesthesia, but boy, did Joy Division mean everything to me back then did like Nirvana, Bob Marley, Joy Division those three things in particular, like I was so crazy about those particular things. They meant so much to me and I didn't have that specific colorful reaction to them that I was describing that from the blood sugar time, but I don't think music had ever meant so much to me because life seemed so bleak. Otherwise, people didn't really enjoy being around me. People felt sorry for me a lot. The same sense of humor that used to be funny when I was like the young handsome cool guy now the same jokes didn't work anymore. Like the same sense of humor it wasn't working. I'm convinced that I was that when I was 2021, I could have been an actor at that time 27. I had the distinct feeling I could never be an actor again. After this experience of realizing how much of myself was on the surface that was the reason that my personality was what it was, it was very traumatic and so that year was tough and it ended with a few months of me making sure I avoided heroin addiction, but just doing whatever I wanted and going really off the deep end and having these crazy experiences where it was hallucinations but they were very real for me where people were in my house that weren't there and I spent hours talking to them and stuff. Marcel Duchamp flee and Clara like Perry Farrell, all kinds of people were there and I thought they were there. I would call them afterwards talking about what we had done yesterday.