Danny Philip, Assault, Olympics discussed on I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship


Welcome to I'm not in an abusive relationship with your host Claudia. Pause thanks for joining us once again for. I'm not in an abusive relationship today. We're GONNA take a little bit of a turn In that we're GonNa talk about sports and sexual violence and Domestic not domestic assault but just assault sexual assault in the sports world which is a little bit different with quite a bit different than the domestic for variety although sometimes they carry over Today we have Christa Deboer with US. Who is a sexual assault therapist for days us? And also Danny Philip. Pack and she is a sexual assault advocate also basis and both of these women have been athletes for most of their lives Even at the NCW level and coaching and all kinds of things. So I'm Chris. We'll start with you and and how about if we just you know let our listeners know how you did participate in the Sports World. Do sure So I started gymnastics when I was four and I quit competitive gymnastics when I was twenty and then did a little bit of Just kind of open gym which just coming in and playing around mostly so competitive Yeah so that was in college so I guess most of my life was in the sports world and Danny Awesome I have been an athlete for I've been a professional athlete for now. Going on six years I ran as a division two all American Added Division Troupe Program Went on from that from Professional Marathon. Running to forty one in the marathon. The Olympic trials went onto coach. NJ NC double a an AI Have Been Coaching Middle School. High School College all throughout with cross country and track. And then now even though I'm super pregnant as you guys see. I'm still running every day and I hope to finish my first hundred mile on September I have represented the United States in the fifty mile distance. Trill championship where we WanNa Bronze-medal so and then I ran three hundred and forty miles across the state for domestic and sexual abuse awareness in May. Wow and did you say finish one hundred miles like all the same time? Yeah WANT TO IN SEPTEMBER. After baby makes arrival that is that would be quite an achievement hundred miles all at the same time. Well I've done three hundred four hundred car stop. Don't worry we we eat cheese it and Jerky and chalk among the whole way. So well okay. Okay it's still no that's fabulous that you are able to do those things so and now those were all you know highlights obviously but You both have had a very long and successful career in the sports world but not everybody gets that chance and many Athletes not just women but many athletes deal with all kinds of abuse whether it's sexual verbal or physical abuse in the sports world and that's kind of what we're going to center on today So I'm not sure which of you want to start but let's figure out. What kinds of of things equate to sexual or domestic violent abuse in the sports world? So Danny what kinds of abuse have you seen kind of in your sport? Oh Gosh I mean just as what Claudia said physical emotional sexual and psychological abuse We see that turning into really unhealthy team cultures which further perpetrates behaviors and can really leave detrimental effects on the athletes And then the program can be affected. what about you I think very closely it's physical mental sometimes emotional I would say I think unfortunately right now gymnastics is known for the Larry Nassar USA gymnastics scandal now. Which I think is put a lot of a damper on even the upcoming Olympics So and it and it ranges right like I don't know if you notice this in sports but When you have a good coach knows you and knows how to motivate you versus other cultures or other. I competed in gym so other times where you could even kind of notice a very big difference between the culture in my gym which was like a family atmosphere. Learning life skills Once you're part of that family you never leave. Coaches are like parents because he's just spent so much time with them versus you go to other gyms and it's not quite the same field that you can even see even observing the relationship between athletes and coaches and I think what you said. They're spending so much time with the athletes you know. My husband's a division when coach A lot of the time. That is who the athletes feel comfortable with. They're going to them for some of their first interactions of the day like my husband's out there coaching six in the morning. And you know very intimate things come up like hey. I'm having a problem at home. Hey I'm struggling with this. Like coaches are there and We want to preface that. There are so many amazing coaches out there. Majority of them are and you know it's an amazing experience or you're part of a sport in Chris can both agree but These are just things to be aware of and unfortunately we are seeing In uprise in every single sports environment that is affected by Sexual Violence Sexual harassment. And that's why we're talking about it today. Inappropriate relationships between coaches and athletes absolutely so. It's yeah it's it's sad but I think that it's something that we don't always talk about until something big happens and so part of it is how do we talk about it. In a way that were providing education and awareness as well so that people know this is what to look for some of the recent cases in in cross country and track that I know of which was Mary Kane which was a huge stray done by the Times within the last. Oh Gosh three months Mary Kane. Who was a high school finance? She turned professional. She was psychologically mentally abused and encourage distorting disordered eating behavior and there there are professional program. Bike is actually shut down because of the abuses Another recent case was a Canadian runner. Whose name was Megan Brown and was seventeen years old at the time and was groomed by her coach. Dave Scott Thomas into a sexual relationship which negatively affected her athletic career and left her and psychological distress. And these are all things that are coming years later. That seems to be almost a pattern that that years later the the person who has abused eventually maybe through therapy or through family help finds the courage to confront that because coach is always held on a pedestal. So it would take a great deal of courage to be able to say no can't do this. And what you did was wrong. In the strength and the bravery that it takes to come forward Even in gymnastics it was just Released within the couple the past couple of days. That Maggie Haynes. Who is Laurie Hernandez Coach Laurie? Hernandez was sixteen at the Olympics. When they won gold and her she was actually suspended by USA. Gymnastics for verbally abusing Lori and quite a few other gymnasts And Laurie since then his actually left that Jim. I'm intrigued with different coach in California and then it just came back out that One of another coach from the same jam that Maggie was out was also I think she was suspended or they're doing an investigation. I can't remember exactly which For the same kind of abusive relationship. So it is. I mean it's common happening and like for me. The best part is that it's coming out and so if someone can survivor can use their voice in such a brave manner. That's what can create change. Hopefully yeah But I think we're kind of ongoing lines of healthy relationships and boundaries with with within the coaching You know what I said before. Healthy relationships get athletes to perform trust in the program. The coach the philosophies the school And we are generalizing. This is amateur sports. This is sports. This is college. High School programs When the team culture is abusive and that behaviors accepted the perpetrator behavior thrives. Because there's fear and intimidation and guilt of those being affected when this behavior is normalized that creates a cycle of violence. Which is what I'm hearing from that story and It's not just a male coach problem. I want to say that it does happen with female. Coaching You know. The vulnerability of athletes is inherent with college athletes and an professionals even Who are away from home and abuse can easily happen in these situations because of the power dynamic at play And you know this is the power dynamic role which KRISTA can speak more on the Duluth model which we use every day and our line of work. It can not only affect sport relationships.

Coming up next