Anxiety, Golf, Hangover discussed on No Laying Up

No Laying Up
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It was effective effective medicine for a while, but then eventually stops working and. It can can make it even worse and so. That kind of touches on where when I did stop drinking the first time I tried to the. You know a lot of that. A lot of the anxiety. Anxiety was able to Kinda. Flow out without anything. Just slow it down. And so, what point are you I? Guess as April Twenty Ninth Again Twenty nineteen. When the day you stop drinking sobriety date is this when you finally I guess take the step, or or what triggers you to understand that you need to actually address the anxiety, and then the alcohol kind of is a you know a contributing factor down the road, but if I'm addressing the. Much better chance at addressing the alcohol issue. I didn't see it that clearly at at that time I just. Basically knew that. Something is very wrong and I've got to do something about it. If I don't want to completely crash, burn here so through talking with. Doctors Psychiatrists. Therapists getting involved with a support group here, kind of a combination of everything I was able to. Really gain some mental clarity especially after you know it. Takes a while when you stop doing something like that. Your body kind gets used to. I was just kind of. Felt strange and not good for a while for weeks and then. After I was. Kinda my body normalized a little bit than I was able to. Move through the various avenues of of help that I was getting. was able to just get a lot better picture of of what was really going on and kind of learn. About just how how powerless I was and what I needed to do to. Not Necessarily regain. Power because that doesn't happen but. To make the shifts from all this fear, anxiety and worry about. The future about what's going to happen next to shift that to? Fully embracing the complete uncertainty of of life, something that I was deathly afraid of. To now where I see it completely from the other side of the of the Mir. Now I think you know how how awesome is that? That I don't have a clue what's going to happen next. You know, but. As long as I. As I do things the right way is always I. Treat people fairly. His I make sure that I'm a good husband and a father. And I. I stay in my in my program and stay connected with the people that I care about. It doesn't matter what happens next. It's all good, you know I. AM ready for for whatever and and I'm excited about that. Life is is a total mystery main. It'd be boring if we knew already knew it was gonNA. Happen well any chance I get to make this point I do, and I'm sure some people roll their eyes at it. Because when I say that tore, life isn't necessarily always glitz and Glamour, where you know, you've done quite well with career earnings, and you could play golf for a living is kind of where the buck stops with a lot of golf, fans or they don't WanNa. See it any other way than that. That but you're on the road ton your way from your family and your case way I understand that they you know once you had kids. They weren't necessarily traveling with you very often. You're in hotel rooms alone. You're in locations for a long period of time. It's not like an NBA team flying as a team, you know from city to city you kind of are in these spots for a long time by yourself, so did that environment that you're in weakened weak out that I. mean how much did that really contribute or double down on some of the issues you're having? I'd absolutely did yeah, so I've kind of changed the way that I. Said I. do things that traveled now, but yeah. The time away from my family definitely wore on me and. Just getting to the point, where maybe even before you know 'cause? There's no like clear definite point where you go from a from a social drinker to an alcoholic, it doesn't happen overnight. So as I was. Trending in that direction, my physical fitness became worse and worse my. Mental clarity judgment became worse so Obviously, my golf game was not keeping up with where where it was so the combination of the time away from from my family, which I hated and then. I could feel myself slowly declining. And just the the pressure of of trying to. Combat that and still be competitive in be. One of the best players in the world. And then. You count on top of that. You know when you not playing as well as as used to and. Y- I'll say this this much because I completely understand the golf fans, the say you know our. Our life is gravy. We make millions of dollars. We travel playoffs golf courses, and that's all true. But when you're out there, and you're getting your brains beaten every week. I mean no matter what level you're at failure sucks. It's not fun. I mean! you go out on on the PGA tour. You missed a bunch of customer. It sucks. I'm sorry. People may may or may not want to hear that, but it's the truth, and so it was a combination of all those things for me for sure. A. Lot of people roll their eyes whenever I try to compare the pro game to to the to the mid am life, but I has helped me understand so many more things about the day in day out stuff that you guys go through, and I can say that even two day tournaments where I'm staying overnight. If you play bad in round one, you immediately just want to be transported home like you don't want to draw you don't. Don't want you just like I. Just WanNa be on my couch right now. I can't believe have to support. Yeah, I just want to be done with this and it a horrible feeling, and I'm playing for nothing, not my livelihood. It's hard to explain kind of where you're coming from on that, but I do think I understand it to one. Maybe one percent of what you guys go through. Yeah, sometimes it can happen around the turn on. Tell teleport. Get Out of here. Well so how how did you? How did this like a your play? I mean. Were you ever to the point where you're drinking before? Or. The was you know we dealing with hangovers for morning tee times. How did it tangibly affect the way you were playing professionally? Hangover sometimes It's strange out. I'm not sure why says but I've never really been much one to drink while playing off, not even at home socially had just always saw the this is. This is my job I shouldn't drink while I'm doing my job. I'm thankful that I that. I thought that 'cause. You know who knows what could have gotten, too, but Yeah I mean I would say yeah I'd played hungover sometimes than it typically would have been in that case where you're talking about where you play bad on Thursday, and you're just going through the motions on Friday to Mr Cotton, get out of town. But not probably not as as often as you would think it was always like A. Balancing Act for me trying to. Figure out okay. How much can I? Can I drink tonight where I won't feel terrible tomorrow, but then also like. A new in this probably should have been more of a warning sign than it was. But if I ever did have the occasional off night, where I didn't have anything to drink, felt I felt where we are the next day from that. It was This juggling acts. That was just it was exhausting trying to. Balance All that and then all the other. Stuff That I, had going on of the anxiety and all that that kind of thing it was. Yeah, it was it was exhausting. INCAS the best word for it. And I'm I'm just very hesitant to ask questions about. Mainly because I think about four years ago or so. We had David Ferte on the PODCAST. It was supposed to be a thirty minute interview. It got chopped down fifteen minutes and I'm I'm rushing through a question and I honestly think about this almost daily asking this way I said you know you've been through some things..

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