Hawaii, First, Utah discussed on Fancy Free Podcast


I seem to appeal physically like everybody thinks that i'm their culture that's awesome. What a wonderful way to isn't that. I think that kind of stuff is so interesting to observe. And i love hearing that kind of like sociological observations. That people make that others make. I think that's fascinating. I'm glad you brought that up. And the other thing is that. I'm a huge anglophile so obsessed with everything british. So england was also choice for her first. Because i've never really felt like any location felt like home. I grew up in utah most of my life. A lot of my family is from hawaii so a lot of them still live there. So there's a lot of that culture in my home growing up. But no location ever felt like home except for england. And i'd never been to england but like when i think of england it feels like home so interesting but i love every in british. I love bbc above like pretty much. Any american show and always been drawn to british literature and movies and music even sometimes but i didn't really like fully realize myself until right before he went to england when we first landed in england we went to clips of door and i was like this is my place. If you like cloudy that fits to it. Does that the dream to live in england one day. I don't look english. The one place where you would not win. I'm place where i don't have family heritage. I'm like that's crazy well. I'm wondering if you have ever spoken to other people that feel like no places ever felt like home and if there are more people who feel like that that had a dominant culture in their household that wasn't similar to the dominant cultures of most other households are growing up. Where do you think that feeling came from. I do think that we're it. Came from because i did have cultural identity crisis growing up because living in utah. Especially when i was younger. It wasn't as diverse. I was surrounded by people who didn't look like me and my parents had just moved from hawaii so culturally. They were very different. We didn't grow up eating casseroles or cheese or pasta. We had like a hawaiian food. And so it was like we were just very different so when i went to school i physically didn't look like everyone else. I didn't fit in but the funny thing about that is that once i got into school i was mostly around that sort of mainland america culture that influenced the way i talked the things. I was interested in culturally. I was more mainland america. So that when we would visit family are they came to visit us. I looked like them. But i- culturally was less like them so i didn't fit in anywhere. Yeah i can definitely see that interesting. I like in the middle. And i was like okay. I don't fit in there. i don't fit in here. Where do i fit in funny enough. Though that has been my life journey is finding that. I really don't fit in in any of these boxes that i try to put myself in. And that's really where my book trailblazer kind of stemmed from like really at the root of it was kind of starting back then and then living this life where i never really felt like i fit in anywhere but just trying to fit in kind of building identities and a life based off of trying to fit in with other people and kind of like taking on their expectations and then sort of coming to this point in my life after i'd been married and had kids where i was feeling really unfulfilled with my life and what i had found is that i built this identity in life. That wasn't really authentic. To what i wanted. And who i was and so sort of breaking all of that down and having to start again in finding myself and building the life. I really want living today..

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