Jim Bros, Marines, Buffalo discussed on Savage Lovecast
Hey, Dan, my name is Bill, I'm calling from the northeast and from buffalo. And I just listening to this week's episode and the upcoming LGBT. Q episode felt it was finally time to ask your advice on how to live as a buy sexual hetero amorous guy these days. This question is twofold like a I grew up like pretty conservative, but have become very liberal. I grew up around guns. I was in the marines. I still hunt around Jim Bros all the time. And I'm just buy when it comes to sex. I don't know how to be an advocate for the community, like I feel like I should be because it just in volunteering that info just gives people a window into my sex life. I like I'm never going to be dating a guy. So I feel very conflicted there, especially like when my background is like I said it's kind of conservative and kind of kind of rural like when I see certain things in the media just feels like the movements eating snake eating its own tail when it comes to the fighting over some pronouns and stuff like that. So second full of my question is asking advice on how to put myself out there in the dating world. Like I'm a single dad. I have custody of my son. And like you said, knowing the area that I come from, like, I don't have to type community where you lead with it. Women are very much presumptive and they don't tend to or seem to understand that there's a difference, I guess. So that I could be faithful or that I can be ethically non monogamous. Because there's an inherent amount of non monogamy implied when you come out as bisexual. So I guess your advice on how to put myself out there and try and date honestly and I guess how should I roll that out? Should deal front about it? And wait till I establish rapport with somebody? There is a lot going on here. You raise a lot of questions, subjects topics issues. With your call with your life, really. I almost don't know where to begin. It's important for bisexual people who are in opposite sex relationships or bisexual people who are hetero amorous to be out about being by. It's most important for individuals who are bisexual to be out about being by. You hear a lot, you read a lot about bisexual people having mental health outcomes that are worse than the mental health outcomes for gays, lesbians, straight people, and I think that's often because there's some research and data to back this up, back my point up, that many bisexuals are closeted and the stress of the closet, carrying that forward. You know, if you were to date some woman and fall in love and kick the can down the road and not tell your bisexual and then the stakes got higher and higher and higher, you know, you became more and more emotionally invested in her and eventually you just like we're three, four or 5 years into the relationship and perhaps married and she bonded with your son, and it would just be a little possible to come out to her. And so you would have to then what? You'd have to live in the closet. You'd have to hide from her. You'd have to make sure to always delete your browser history. You'd have to make sure never to look too long at a waiter, a male waiter's ass, in front of her, you would be living with and sharing your life with someone that you had to hide from. That creates stress. That releases cortisone into your bloodstream. The stress hormone into your bloodstream. You know, that's the kind of pressure I cracked under when I was a teenager and I was just hiding who I was from my mom and my dad and my siblings and my Friends. And I couldn't do that. I couldn't live that way. And yet, so many bisexual people wind up living that way and then rationalizing it kind of in the way that you rationalize it in your call that who needs to know this..