Patriot Community discussed on A Slob Comes Clean

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Okay. I know there's people like we'll but what about wiping down the cabinets. I'm like that's great. Great if you WANNA do that we're talking about the actual absolute total baseline to not have a house in chaos. Do the dishes everyday. Sometimes a natural extension of that is also wipe down the cabinets. But even if it's not do your dishes everyday K.. Sweeping the kitchen listen not about the crumbs. It's about being aware and dealing with the random stuff all over the floor in the kitchen. Okay and it's getting thing that stuff dealt with your kitchens going to look under control if your dishes are done and your floors are picked up and swept K.. And it's the checking the bathrooms for clutter. Because has guess what people say can use restrooms your restroom and you're you if you're anything like me you know how it feels to be like hold on just a minute. Okay and run in there and mix see what it looks like before they actually go in there. But if you're dealing with you know if your deal look checking them for clutter meaning making sure. There's not you know. Close all over the floor and junk all empty deodorant containers on the. What is it called? What is that called you guys? Empty Deiter con container bathroom counters. That's the word yes good podcast dating anyway but you don't making sure sure that the counters are at least straightened and not gross you know and the floors are picked up in that kind of those are baseline things do do you. Ideally want to also make sure everything is wiped down an sparkly. Absolutely you do and you could argue that. That's that's baseline as well but we're talking about the ultimate baseline okay. I mean it's one thing to walk in and go. Oh they didn't have a chance to actually shine up their bathroom house. Good to know that. Not Everybody's bathroom is absolutely perfect all the time. But there's difference between that and going. Oh my word. This bathroom is a total embarrassing disaster. Right okay so we're talking about baseline here except that baseline and then the five minute picket meaning. Things are picked up and put away if your dishes are done and your laundry is done. Your laundry is not part of the four daily habits. Because it's a weekly thing for me. I do it weekly laundry day but all of those things are not things that we go we have clean underwear underwear but we do go. Nobody has any clean underwear all right so it's accepting the fact that baseline is line. Stuff is not something anybody is going to congratulate you on. It's what a lot of people in today's Day's teenage call adulting. Okay and I'm not saying that as a as what people call adulting you guys yeah. I'm sorry I'm the one I had to figure all this out because because it was not natural to me and I wasn't doing it and a big part of me getting better me going through this disapprobation process was just ask the acceptance that this is how it is there really is not a better way. There's no better way it keep your kitchen kitchen under control then to just do the dishes everyday. There's not a better way. I am sorry there might be good good dish. Soap works really well for you. There might be whatever but there's not a better way than doing your dishes. Whatever that means all all right so that that's a huge part of it so we realized that applause only comes for the above and beyond think about an a work situation And a lot of you you guys who are listening our parents. Write your mom's and so you know you know when your kid wants to you get major credit for something that you're like that's just what you're supposed to do go above and beyond that you know at any time that you've had to get a group of kids to help rake the leaves in the yard. There are the kids who technically do everything they're supposed to do you and yes. It's helpful and it was worth it to make him do it. It wasn't fun. Whatever and then there's the one who goes above and beyond that's the one who gets the praise is the going above and beyond but realizing that doing the dishes unfortunately is not going above and beyond now as I sit here and say this? No I'm I'm proud of you for doing the dishes. Like I know how hard it is to do the dishes when that doesn't make sense to you and you don't feel like it should be that big of a deal but it is you feel like there's gotta be a better way when that hasn't been what you've done in your doubt this can work. I get it so I wanna say I am the one to tell you. I'm proud of you for doing the dishes and making yourself do them every single day. I am proud of you. But you can't expect every random person who walks into your house or even who lives in your house to be proud of you for doing the dishes every day okay. They're more likely to be proud over time. which is so so stinky right? I mean I want to be proud right away because then if you're proud right away that can be done and I at least get to know that you're proud but instead it's it's GonNa take time. Okay all right things that will take them time to under to actually notice they may notice that cooking or making their lunches or whatever is just less stressful than it used to be that something that can be like. Oh actually it's been even that much easier or maybe they don't notice until the third day when they go. Oh I actually looked around and and was inspired to start cooking again. I cooked three days in a row. Like you know it's that kind of thing or maybe it's a week in a row. We've been cooking at home this month or for two months for the last year. Whatever I'm not guaranteeing any kind of I'm trying to give you the realistic perspective to not expect praise as for things not expect credit for stuff? But I'm saying that that's the kind of thing that somebody's GonNa notice eventually more than going. Have you noticed. Have you noticed which I have done many times in my house Space to move around as you declutter things that is the number one thing that has helped my family actually make change. When it comes to clutter is an and some of them realize it? My I think my husband and my daughter daughter do my boys. Don't match don't necessarily notice but that ability to live more easily in your house than you used Too because you have more space to move around. That's the kind of thing that eventually they're going to appreciate that you've done okay. As opposed to look I moved everything off of the fireplace and shoved it in that corner over there. Doesn't the fireplace look good. Did Not that. They're not going to be like that's not the thing you get credit for. You get credit for actually improving life anyway being able to find things that's something if you consistently insistently go wait a minute. I am able to find things a lot easier than it used to be. Or Wow these last several years. I've been finding naming things a lot better than back when maybe you don't even notice it until you think about you know what five years ago before mom's started really decluttering. We used to never be able to find anything. That's kind of how it worked in our house and disasters happened left less often not natural disasters. You have no control over that but I'm talking about you know everything is shoved into everywhere and every anything that you're gonNA find that you know you have requires a huge throwing everything everywhere we're to get to it. The more you declared the less often those kinds of disasters are going to happen. That's the kind of thing that eventually people do it. Notice okay. That's where you get credit. Also on the opposite side of this be the positive notice her model positive noticing. When when somebody does something that you know was a real challenge for them to do notice it you know? Make sure that you're not the negative notice that you're not the one who they do something you go. Yeah that's good but did you notice this over here if you if you need to point that out because some a lot of times that is our job as a mom still praise the effort still praise what they did do. And then do that and think about because if you're listening to this podcast and you relate to what I'm talking about you've probably had the negative notice her but you don't want to be somebody else's negative notice. Her came out. So what are the. What are a couple of things to really focus on and we talked about Focusing on the very basics as your baseline not as a project okay like anything projects are above and beyond and that basic kind of stuff. And make sure you're following the visibility. Roll all right that visibility low visibility rule is everything okay with the visibility. Rule means that when you declutter always start in the most visible space meaning meaning the space that people would see when they come in your front door. I have loved hearing from people in the Patriot community about how much once they finally said. I'm going to follow the visibility ability. Rule they really started making huge progress in their homes. I love hearing that because that is the truth. Okay you start there and inspires you to keep decluttering. It's visible visible so it's more noticeable because you can actually see it because it's visible okay. So following the visibility roll instead of you know the top shelf of the master bedroom closet and then hoping that they're going to notice that or hey guys here step through all this junk income. Look at the top shelf and see what I did today. people are able more other people. When you're the one responsible for doing all this work other people are more able to ignore less visible spaces and be proud of you for the visible spaces than they are to ignore the visible? So it's really hard to walk through a cluttered room to go. Look at a uncluttered space. Ace shrimp saying but if you are walking through an uncluttered spate anyway Okay I hope if this was helpful and just no I completely understand you guys like I really do. I mean this is. This is my struggle as well so anyway all right I will talk to you guys. Next week don't forget I do have with my books. Available at a SLOB COMES CLEAN DOT com slash book and Go Join Patriot and join us over there. It's really fun all right bye..

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