TOM, Doug Mallard, Caitlyn discussed on Your Mom's House

Your Mom's House
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Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It doesn't count for the mile high club. So wait, you ask him about farting though because my husband, Tom has this neat habit of just farting in front of everybody. And he just told me yesterday, we were eating dinner and he goes, I was working out with my trainer and I just farted in front of him on the treadmill. And the other guys got really mad and the gym, and I was like, well, of course they're mad dummy. Nobody wants to smell. What happened was a I'm running now. That's what happened. I go, I go alternate story fart. And then trainers, like, you know, probably ten feet away sitting on one of those boxes. You know, those box jump things and he was like, he goes, was that the. That is that the treadmill he was he was genuinely confused. What was it. And I go, no, I farted. He was like, okay, and then I go man, decimals, bad. That's really bad like great. And it's a small. And then like ten seconds later, I smelled this fresh like unbelievably fresh scent. I'm like, what the fuck is that? He's like, oh, I just spray down this whole Jim. Natural. And then I realized that that whole time ten feet behind another guy, just sitting down on piece of equipment. I ought to know your back. Was, you know when people really want you to put shit particles into the air when they're breathing their hardest, right, right. Maximum heart rate. And you just shit right there? My feeling dangerous to hold it in at the gym for some reason, always let it rip at the gym. I feel like when you're like exerting yourself and trying to. Okay. Oh, this comfortable. I'm not gonna. Hold it in. I've always thought to myself. You ever want to meet the prettiest girl in the world going onto a hotel gym in fart. She'll be there in two minutes. He will. Right? Yeah. And you'll have it to yourself. Absolutely. Forty, five minute forty, seven. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, hey, no. Did you see that other guy walking out. Wow. What a jerk. He said he was going. See because it's become a pattern for Tom now where he's just been kind of farting indiscriminately like we had Doug Mallard in here, and he brought his fiancee over within minutes of meeting her. He started in front of her at our dinner, and I'm surprised before it in front of our nanny. I know you do it, and then she came right in the other night and smell back. I think once you get through the first couple than. What happens sometimes do part, and I go. Mike. I'm so embarrassed. You try to justify you guys. This amazing. I haven't farted in. Here's the doctor said, I'd never far it again. What an accomplishment is that celebration. I can't believe you guys were here to witness this citing. So I'm guessing you don't do this in front of people. I don't. I don't know what it is. I think. Single guy. Now that's what it is. He's looking for that new road beef and he knows that you can't fart your way there. But that now if you go out on a date a few times, say if you get comfortable, how long would it take you to in front of the lady or do you normally at first happens on accident. Right. Is it a few months in probably, yeah. Like something you ever get jumper cables for they come in and just both sides of your ribs. Yeah, once she thought it was going to be so funny and I just all over and that was acting, then I'm like, well, thank you for broke the barrier up doing that. Yeah, somebody emailed in this, hey, Tom, Christina woman in her thirties. I have more gas than anyone. I know dating hard for me because I get crippling stomach aches and basically have to run home just to fart out early is too early to start farting in front of a significant other. I currently just met a guy. He's very fun but very polite. He doesn't seem like the type of person I could find a fart in front of ever should I end it now just give up on dating. I'm not completely haggard. I'm a pretty normal looking girl just with an excessive amount of gas, sincerely gase Caitlyn..

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