Leah, Miam- Bishen discussed on You Are Not So Smart


Aware of him having feeling Somme throughout our teenage years, and I basically interviewed him over sky because he lives back in a stray Leah about why we never got into a romantic relationship and why the snow to failure. But rather why we chose friendship over any prospect we might have had as love is all you know, the loves of each other's lives. And what we do is basically encourage female attributes in each other. So I give him a safe space for being open. Vulnerable and I invite him out to brunch and we gossip and talk about our feelings which he may not do with his male friends all in fact. I know for fact, he does not do as as a regularly with his mouth friends. Whereas he encourages made babe. It more brash to be a bit more traditionally male of what we consider. Traditionally male attributes a, he makes me sort of on a shamed of miam- Bishen. He makes me talk about sex more openly. He makes me kind of increase my confidence in a way to pass a male would. So we sort of offer each other little glimpses into what it's like to be someone of the sex. And that has been really constructive interesting to me over a long period of time. So I think I'm, you know, I'm not suggesting that having one friend of the opposite sex in any way kind of gives you will already to speak on what that experience might be like. But it certainly kind of broadens out knowledge of what it's like. It's wouldn't gives us little inside. Science into what it might bay to be amount or woman. And I think there are so many different variables because of course, we haven't even spoken about sexuality because I think you know none of women when they had, you know, sexual orientations that don't match up can also have beautiful friendships and be really interesting, and there's, you know, one of my best friends in the whole world is a gay man. And I think we became friends so easily and so quickly and so deeply because there was no sexual possibility between us at all. So for me as a woman that was completely non-threatening and safe, and for him, it was non-threatening and safe for him to express his more feminine sensibilities. So I think that can be so many different variables once you take sexuality into account as well. But it's a beautiful thing. I like this freezing using the book where you say that. People say, you know, we're just friends and it's like the freight e you talk about how in your opinion and I like this a lot. I, it's the is really the other way around saying, you know, we're, we're friends. We're not just lovers right in that. We're friends. We're not just made in that. You know, if if you're going to do a trade off, you know, in your saying that you're, you're choosing one of the other, like these people to people who are able to be friends. And they haven't. They haven't made it just about sex or or just about desire between the two people they, you know, obviously in a relationship you won't have both. But if it's framed is almost like the fringe is the thing you're trying to avoid, which is odd and. You make a good case that even even a situations where people are friends and they happen to hook up in some way that it doesn't necessarily or often destroy anything, and it kind of it gets it out of the way. And if they're, they can be friends and just let it pass because it's a different type of emotional connection is a different type of of attraction to one another. And the that people aren't brutish that they can be complex and I dig it. I don't know. This is the I liked that section of the book a lot. Thank you. And I think I mean, I didn't speak to the point you made earlier about where flows belong. Those really nice. Thank you so much. I think one of the beautiful things that can happen when you're friends with someone of the opposite sex is you've actually disregarded them as a romantic possibility. So I have people in my life..

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