Depression, La Paz discussed on Onward and Other Directions


I don't know if I will be able to overcome the feelings I am feeling right now, the deep anxiety, the depression that comes with that, the feeling of not being able to be organized or motivated, the feeling that I can't complete anything, I feel as though I'm in a huge checkpoint, just like on I did it right, and I can't get out in time. I can't organize my stuff. And I also, I really believe that I can. I just don't know how yet. And how always is just breathing and remembering that I have done this before. I have taken a step before and I can take a step again. And. I will go through and listen and share the proof of that. Including the hard parts, that's a huge part of my philosophy with a tail. Adventure truth, accountability. And onward. And. We can't just forget the parts that were hard as we glory in the success and in the victory, because without those parts that were hard, what was it? There was no victory without that. They are part of the same coin. And also it sucks. So. The thing about mushing, maybe one of the reasons I like it so much is that it just is a metaphor. It's just this actualized metaphor for us and for life and for mental health. It is just a way to see these struggles that all of us are going through in a real manifested painful, cold, struggling, phenomenally beautiful way. People say, wow, it's amazing that you must, but I don't think I'm doing anything different or more tough than anybody out there who is dealing with mental health with any of the thousands and hundreds of thousands of issues that we all deal with every day. The struggle just to be. And you're dealing with that right now. And it might be small or it might be huge and feel insurmountable and you might be in that moment of confidence in victory or you might be in a really low spot. And maybe those feelings that you're feeling have lasted for years and feel like they're the only feelings that exist and it's all part of this being sentient being human, having to be aware of our existence. Anyway, I guess I'm saying, I'm going to go onward. I hope you'll go onward with me. I hope you'll forgive me for the La Paz. We had to take sometimes we have to take a little break to gather to lay down like a turtle on our back and feel like we can't do anything. To wallow, sometimes you just have to take a break. And I think our bodies tell us, I think our selves are souls, whatever's in there. I think it tells us when it's time to get going to the next run. Metaphorical, otherwise, and the beautiful thing is that if we're lucky, we have a team. I have the dogs, and I have you. Whoever you are, listening to this. Our teammates, and if we're not ready, our teammates, they can be ready for us and there for us. Even if they can't tell us, sometimes they can't. But they are there. We are there for each other. I know that they're there. I know that you have a teammate because I'm your teammate. I mean, that's all we can do is be teammates for each other, right? And when you're not ready to go, I can be ready to go for you. That's onward. So, all right. We're gonna go onward. I'm gonna go onward. I hope you'll go onward with me. Look for a new episode coming up soon. It's an exciting one. I think, anyway. If you like existential crises and all of that, jazz. So we'll see you down the trail. Onward..

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