Schindler, First Things First, Frizzell discussed on Does This Happen to You

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The public's duty to entertain themselves. The current supply is provided mostly by old ladies. Probably no one is ever seen. Who leaves the magazines and they are loath to admit any supernatural suspicions. Will there is evidence that ghost may be responsible? It is unlikely that they would be the source as nobody enjoys being in a waiting room when they're alive let alone after death however the magazines are clearly from another place and time. No ghosts were available for comment and are less story the idiots guide to cooking dinner for a date. Congratulations somehow you've pulled a not so lucky lady and invited her round for dinner but times. Got Away from you. You've only got half an hour until she arrives. And you've got as much experience with cooking as Joseph. Frizzell has with responsible parroting. What are you going to do? Fear not my oblivious friend if you follow this advice she'll be eating out of your hand assuming you don't have a plate if you don't have a plate. I'm surprised you have your life together enough to meet girls in the first place step one scope out the kitchen. Okay First Things First. Check the kitchen for what you can use all right here. We go TATA. You've got half an onion one new potato and some Leeann parents. The only thing in the fridge some Chinese food it's so moldy it's started criticising you for walking past that charity worker without acknowledging him in a situation like this. You've got two choices. Either explained to her that you're on a new diet which requires you to give a protein vitamins and self-respect or run to the shops before they close step to realize it. Sunday in the shops closed half an hour ago. Shit step three stall for time. Why would you even plan a dinner party for Sunday? Who Does that now? You've got no choice but to stall for time. Hi Babe. How's it going? What no no. Nothing's wrong was just wondering if you could pick up some wine to go with the food. Yeah Yeah reds good. Make sure to go to the majestic though. Yeah I know the nearest one's about two hours away but I wanna make it special and the wine I've got is mostly for medical purposes. It's not even technically wine. There was a printing error on the label. Okay cool thanks Babe. Yes he soon. Bye Bye step for remember. You've got that bottle of wine begin to formulate a plan. Yeah this work. You're feeling good about it now. A bit of wine a handful of these. This is looking good step five. Kill Yourself. Eat a handful of painkillers. Wash it down with wine. If you're dead. She can't be disappointed when you haven't cooked anything lucky. You've got so many pills lying around. Why do you have so many pills again? Step six the last resort. Oh dear you're only dead inside okay. No worries looks like we'll have to use our last resort. Look there under the piles of Kleenex and that porn parody Schindler's Fist couldn't be yes. It is a takeaway menu for that place down the street step seven acceptance shuffled through the bags of rubbish near the door and take the packet from the delivery guy at least when she arrives. You'll have something for dinner now. Hopefully she likes it. You decide to try solve it before. She arrives stipulate realization. Wake up the next day. In a pool of filth your noses covered in a white powder hardened by dried sweat. You take a few moments to realize what happened. You've been high for the last two days. You hallucinated. The whole thing didn't you? You don't have to respond. I know it's the truth. It's okay I'm not even really here but I'm the only friend you've got left. Hey I know what a cheer you up. Let's watch Schindler's Fist again. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the story let me know and share it with your friends. Follow me at Kris K. K. Aria on twitter or Kris K. Kepler on facebook or check out my website. Www dot Chris kepler dot com..

Coming up next