Keith Malley Hamda, Two Days, Seventeen Years discussed on Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Walk Keith and the girl I'm Keith Malley Hamda how have the come on you're not saying this is Sexy I'm exaggerating but you get sick this weekend yeah and you know you gotta you gotTa Day to go to get your food shopping and get your you you crowd you had to I did cry I mean I've been having like really I I checked with myself I'm like am I just suppressing all this stuff and I I'm like actually angry back of my mind or am I just being patient and understanding this is happening but on Saturday I felt my patients I woke up and I'm like no I think I'm done just like a cold is taking it over yeah because it's like you think you're done because you're like okay my mouth and face hurt okay that's the chest that happens and like I'm out of body parts I can't nothing else can go wrong and then it does and here's the kicker I'm on antibiotics and prescription strength IB WPRO Finn every six hours hundred the sickness come in right what am I supposed to take on top of that Nyquil like my body's going to be like L. aw you break down you start crying what does he do pet you the petting helps okay like padding to really like on your head the dog I love it I love it and I don't if you've never been petted before it's it's probably like an ego thing because it's so sweet I love it you don't get I'm trying to picture just like have kyle do it to you I don anyone who's not being petted is like you're letting your ego not have you enjoyed this beautiful wonderful thing you're that baby I want to be petted yeah it's so nice you know your body sort of aching at my head pat my bad ah it's so nice it's more like a like a swipe right not like a tap tap tap no we're not like a football team cost less essences go get him no I think that's so nice but you know it's it's hard because it's even I've known him for a long time it still is a new romance nick relationship and he's like okay well I'm free today I can you know be around for you so anything you need and I don't know how to do that can anybody explain by the way that football asked happen for a Paean such a homophobic sport they love grab it s on that field the no one can ever make it make sense mm-hmm how would that have started gay activities Rome main thing I it doesn't feel like a gay thing obviously right but hey gay people I mean for this sport being the most popular sport you know the most popular American sport of course without question there's not one pro gay player well there was that one that came out and then they didn't make the team they never do oh is that where no homo starts really need to touch his asked to tell him he did a good job but gotta followed up with no Homo right there no I is that the only part without padding they could feel this you know I mean otherwise they'd have to flick each other's Dicks but I'm sure they're wearing a cop of some sort it's very strange where can you where can you actually love tap each other when it's not patting shoulders padded your head is a helmeted I've seen them like hit each other on the head on the helmet maybe Look my head is already getting hit with a lot of ways tap my ass will young people tried to sue the NFL for all these concussions and brain damage and then the NFL look what they do for fun to each other they bang heads yes so maybe they're like you know what we shouldn't do that so that we can't let's let's tap each other's asses so have you ever felt the need to tap someone's ass honestly never who I used to punch my mom's while she was doing okay you know a strange yeah funny not like hi thanks for being my mom of course really should have added that blood loop here's how you get them to stop cap in your ass I was in gym and we played football and somebody smack may I said thank you and they go okay forget this I don't know why did either when the when you're sick are you good at asking for thanks you want soup or you want medicine no I feel like I'm taking I'm taking it was way I'm I'm being a pain in the ass but I desperately want all of those things I got I got pretty good he's like do you wanna take a bath and you know I can at least Latte now not say no you know 'cause I have been you know prone to being no I'm fine and then it's like but he just told they were battling the this is the stuff that I wanna do for you and you're sick and by the way let me do the bath let me make you soup and said just sitting there and you're crying that's putting me out yeah but isn't that weird like what kind of what kind of fucking brain have we been given let me pal pink they're outside of the House of give me you and those things for you to shop in another borough they have the good chicken soup done just stare at you crime yeah I was like well I'm really hungry and I want food and I don't WanNa get up to get it or help you he's like okay like wow this is a big deal know kyle had a cold not too long ago and you know I got her to take one Benadryl but we're adults it says take to go one on one is live it up likes that living it up to you because we live in the greatest country on earth still believe it or not and our medicine is fabulous into medicine the only one not getting really sick you know real way so enjoy it enjoy inch and of course she does that thing and says you know at the medicine just hides the symptoms that's complaining about runny nose busted had achey joins it's the symptoms we hate it oh I got confused I covered the symptoms and I'm GonNa rock climbing my body was thirty but I would do that as soon as I don't feel anything I'm just like okay time to get on a bike let's ride ten miles let's have brought you don't take Nyquil then all of a sudden Eleni thing you just feel a little better please keith can you please let us be the greatest people on Earth by being more and I'm so mad it's like you said crying but I don't have another Benadryl and I'm like okay act like this is normal I think aside from the an including the ped- the the head petting and other pending I think you should totally treat your mate like a baby when they're sick because to me you don't want it right so crushed up Benadryl right food no criminal laws don't like oddly cosby her I did not mean to that I've been visiting more and so I see you know her kids more she has three kids even visiting her home embiid visiting her home oh you have visitation right I do the more than the ex- also I'm you know I'm over there and it's funny when like a kid gets bradey but then catches it's off that I'm there isn't do they like that you call you call them itself I assume any gender I've learned progressive Red so like she says before you leave to the oldest one do the dishes and you can tell this Goto as an excuse writer so he says I was GonNa leave anyway so there's no time and then he realizes that I'm there and those and then mumbles it so at least I hear goes but but of course I will do them okay wow don't respect your mother whose flagging been on your side for seventeen years this fucking asshole comes in half progressive calling you it they definitely do it for him and then of course the youngest were we're going to interview a monkey girlfriend Benny boy we've we've like interviewed him for the instagram story he wrapped and you should really follow social media it was just an impromptu they were picking up from the studio and we interviewed him Ben is the best how can you love him because he's in love with you the most that's that's why I love Kyle why I love things they love me do you get it the the what do you think about me I go what what do you think about me that's what I think about you that easy ben is the one who wrote two other class mate's when it's when it's at your funeral funeral I'm sorry I won't be there because I'll be in jail taking care of the person that the funeral people killing his friend what is happening in that school school city schools are tall I don't think so they live on the upper they are fine so he has a girlfriend now I don't think I taste that what I don't think they kissed but he has a girlfriend what they do look at each other and do honestly what do you do when you're eleven I do remember people having boyfriends and it was like for two days sometimes but they were here's for those two days and it's not even like we didn't really even have phone rights at that time so what are you doing like I look at you more than other people unscrew days the I've seen his textile is like you know I lived the first day I met you on the words going from this he's obviously doing the with molly away of just reciting lyrics you're my cherry pie these five words I swear to you lot of hearts and these texts we'll probably go the same high school in the same college's committed wow this dog's GonNa die you know galley they're not broken up yet well it has been a day a German teenager broke into a jail by climbing eighteen foot wall and ducking under razor wire to save a relationship with his girlfriend the eighteen year old scaled the building and to reach the the window with bars of course of his sweetheart urging her not to break up with him okay but if this was a fairytale we'd be link she put down her so he can use that decline I mean what are we being taught we're being taught at that is highly romantic when really it's psychotic right and it's a tough break when the your love is in jail and still says no they don't WanNa make just say yes great really could you not seen other people you know no woman jail obviously yeah I don't think it's good for us but this is so it's to me it's like if I was eighteen it'd be like wow oh sure you love me you just risks risk your life my life everything like obviously that's love because it reminds me of for example beauty and the Beast how he so mean to me and he's you know conventionally ugly he's not nice to his staff in fact because he was so mean they turned into candlesticks bullshit it and it still hasn't taught them a lesson he's just absolutely a motherfucker to everybody but behind those eyes fucking heating women that beauty just love books and he.

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