BOB, Dokes Linden, Wallace discussed on BBC World Service
To homeadvisor stroke, Bob, if they do go slow. No. I think there's an idea around that we have to protect daughters dads, especially think the teenage girls lack agency and capability to navigate the world. So the response to that is to try and control everything they do. That's journalists. Carville Wallace father to a teenage son and a teenage daughter, he co hosts slates parenting podcast, mom and dad are fighting in which people from all over the world right in asking for parenting advice. I also fathers of daughters. See most worried about I think one of the main ones that I hear a lot is the desire to set different rules for your daughter than you do for your son. And I think the data struggling with why that isn't right. There is a belief that you should trust girls less than you. Trust boys. That is the underlying idea behind a lot of this mismatched gender-based parenting. When reality has taught us that in fact, if anything the opposite should be true. I mean, if anything this idea that. You know, I'm sorta like going to protect my daughter and gonna make sure that no one comes around and keep her locked up that idea is based in a lot of false and damaging notions about the responsibility women bear for the things that happened to them. But is it a case of fathers, trusting their daughters lasts, all they trust society less when it comes to how women get treated I think it's a case of fathers not trusting their daughters. You have to prepare your daughter to operate in the world, you build a long term honest exchange in report with them that allows them to feel some confidence in themselves. So that they can look at a situation and say, I'm not safe here, and I can talk my parents about that. Because my parents have always treated me with respect and trust. And so I don't have to hide from them that I'm in a situation, that's unsafe. This is not to suggest that society is great because I think we all know, it's not I'm talking about. What is the parenting solution to that? And the parenting solution to that isn't to lock your daughter up. You cannot. Parents successfully out of fear, but parenting out of Fiji think that affects daughters differently from son's. Yeah. I think it does because our primary job in that relationship, which I think is a little bit different than our job with our sign our primary job and our relationship with our daughters is to show them what loving respectful consistent love from a male figure is supposed to look like. So that later in life when a bunch of clowns come along and offer different stuff. They recognize that something is off. This is not the way that I'm supposed to be treated by someone who says they care about me. Girls. Do not have good relationships with their fathers have more eating disorders are more likely to be clinically depressed. Have a worse time and struggle more throughout their lives. Dealing with stress. This is after your father is no longer in your life. After your father has died. He still has an impact on those parts of your development Dokes Linden. Nielsen again, daughters who had close relationships and supportive relationships with their fathers are over represented in world leaders politicians in athletes in women who become successful in the world of business. Many of them were either firstborn children for the only daughter in the family. Meaning they got a lot of support and attention from their fathers..