Glennon, Five Years, Mike discussed on Suiting Up with Paul Rabil
Really great experiences across your social Communicative experiences and kind of like talk to each other and play live. It's a great like modeling of of fun and introspection and kind of curiosity and shown a range of emotions together. Five years in. I would imagine that you with the same kind of intensity to me when i think about you guys. It's challenging relationship norms and not like that the history of marginalising the community in that. Like you know terrible. Kind of generations worth of ostracizing but relationships as a whole and what we can hope to have and you know i think a norm is calling early relationships honeymoon phases and getting to know each other and the excitement and that settles off and there's expectations. Same thing we have in sports. And you've been one that they've always not only challenged hunched straight through them and we all struggle with ship. So how is is your relationship. Continue on with glennon so wonderful. And i know you all share all sides of it which is equally as important. Yeah i mean. I think one early on in our relationship we were speaking with this woman and We're like we don't know when to tell the world like how do we do this and she just like. You don't have to say anything you just have to be. You don't have to tell people you're in love you just have to be in love and over time one of the greatest things like it's almost a revolutionary thing that we've been doing we didn't know it. It wasn't like our plan but these little videos these little snippets of our lives that we show the world They are true. They're not like planned or anything. They're true and they're also compatible across every relationship because relation is it doesn't matter what gender you are or what faith you are or any of it right. So it's like what's been so fascinating to me is so many men responding like oh. I'm glennon in this situation or i'm team abbey here. I'm team clinton here like god. This is hilarious. Right because glennon and i from from the looks of it are like. Oh abbes more butch. She's more fem so like of course. I'm going to take more masculine behaviors and stuff but like actually. I don't like spiders and stuff so glennon has to like take care of that. 'cause it's comedy right like the. It's like one of the first questions she asked when we got another relationship. She's like some new to this gay culture. Mike who gets spiders like i don't know what's going to happen here in so we approach it with with joy and love and you know humor. 'cause that's like that's life you know and i don't pretend to know or be an expert at relationships by any means but what we do and we have chosen to do with our life is to show our humanness to show our messiness in all of its glory and not be ashamed bit. Both of us are sober. We both in terms of living sober life. Living a shameless life is the way out of any kind of suffering. So no matter what it is like she'll be doing something. I'm like hold on a second. The world needs to see this craziness right on. And i think it's just been so fun and unique for us to kind of develop our ways. I mean we believe that most relationships have about or five fights in them. They might come out in different ways but they're about the same like every single fight is usually about one thing or another that you and your spouse are dealing with an and we'll deal with forever so if you can figure out in point out what it's really about like get to the truth the truth of it and then it takes the steam out of it so early on in our relationship. We take more fighting. We're fighting. we're fighting like dressed past like the honeymoon stage and we couldn't figure out how to get our way through it and it's like oh no this is the same thing. This is the same place. So it's like. Oh this is the thing that probably i'm not. My behavior is not going to change. Because this is who i am. And i'm just gonna keep bringing more awareness to it in the same things like. Oh it's your behavior. It's probably something that you're not gonna change but you're gonna just keep bringing to it but like it hurts my feelings in for for lesbians like we just don't stop talking like ever to women who are introspective and spiritual into that stuff so yeah. I'm proud of us. And i'm also not an expert so take everything or just leave. It doesn't matter to me. I've listened to elaine de batons. Say something similar that if you can identify kind of pinpoint the problems or the stuff that you have to live with in your and it'd be good with that then the relationship's gonna be fucking great. Yes that's it. I talked too loud. I interrupt snore. And sometimes i don't have. I'm not consciously thinking about other people. Glennon is always consciously thinking about other people so sometimes i'll start a sentence. She'll have to like put her hand on my leg. Like have you thought about everybody in this room before you go down this road you now. And that's just like that's who i am so their stuff that like that comes up and it just she gets annoyed. And i'm like this is the volume of my voice. I don't know what to tell you. I think basically all i will be doing for the rest of my life is whispering. And that's what she's beating me into a pulp getting me to just whisper. I think this is what she wants. Whatever the thing about where relationships sometimes build up is around resentment. And and what's so amazing about this is we tend to if we can if we're lucky enough to to scratch to the bottom of the surface. It is really small things that we never addressed and they build up and then they become real issues. I can identify with you and love that partnership a- glennon brings to you around awareness of other people and identify with you because it's the way were groomed in sports. I mean we think about how we can impact the team and we think about our team but we don't think beyond our team because actually heat the other team out. That's why we're built in life. We actually need to think about the other team and other teams because their feelings matter and that's big in business is it's not as cut throat as sports. Although some boardrooms might be but will finish kind of with this. And i like how you talked about the idea of crossover. So just any. Like harding. Words on spirituality sports and self discovery. And how you say. They're all integrated and we want to not only grow as athletes and growth in the athlete. Lexicon is improve our skills but the big thing in life no matter the industry is wanting to be heard and the challenge. There is waiting to be heard. It can feel narcissistic from time to time. And like why do i need to be hurt. But there are some deep connections there around being seen being heard whether it is tied to the political divisiveness in our country. Right now whether it's two centuries of oppression of marginalized groups or whether it's just in a relationship with our intimate partner. What's your path like. How often do you think about that. For life integration. And where you at now. Yeah i think that the concept of life work balances b. s. I things just life and you just got to figure out how to manage your life and work Figure out what works best for you. I know that. I'm lucky to have a family in an environment where i get to decide because i've basically been my own boss my whole life and in terms of the full roundedness of humanity and being heard. I think that's a really important thing. The belief that idea. And then the follow through on that concept because it works for our own individual cells and then it works for the world right. What gets stuck right now especially in this political divisiveness that you talk about is everybody wants to individually be heard the social media platforms at are magnifying That relentless desire to be heard but what we want from an individual level is something that we are not willing to give in terms of hearing other people. So it's just everybody's shouting at each other right. And i think that that is why this pandemic has kind of come into our lives. We've all been shouting but have we been doing enough.