A new story from Small Doses

Small Doses


And it's like, yeah that's rough because you want to be able to engage with them across the board, but you have to instead implement a certain level of boundaries. Not for them for you. You're not disappointed absolute that you have a clear understanding of how to manage. But everyone has like mom shit or dad. Shit or brother shit or trauma shit? And so you just kind of decide well, I'm gonna just deal with it. However, but the reality is is that all of us are managing people in our lives that we love. But that may not do behaviors that we love. And so how do you how do you handle that you have to figure out what your boundaries are what you can manage and you've got to stick to it. And I think that's the hardest thing. Yeah. Because you're in Nate league going to be like, this is a relative who's close to me? So you don't want to go back to those behaviors. Because they're comforting to you. And you're like this is a person that I should be able to trust and be able to confide in. But they're going to use it against you. And so you have to like you said boundaries and just know how no that you can't go deeper with these people. You just can't you just can't it's it's hard. But you can't. And once you find this out, it is a new journey of self discovery. Because then you now are looking at how their behaviors have reflected upon you. So then now you have to deal with your. Own reactions to that trauma, and the your own problems and issues that have come out of that. So it's not a turn key thing. It's not just recognizing that you have a family member who's a narcissist. It's also figuring out like well. How have I been affected by this negativity going, and yeah, you gotta go there before it because you're you're you're suffering some type of repercussions from it. Whether you're aware of it or not like, you are it's just we all are whether you're dealing with the nurses family member or not we're dealing with stuff that we are completely unaware our behaviors are all because of from our childhood so going to therapy, whether or not you had a nurse's apparent I recommend for everybody. Someone asks can you be friends with narcissist? No, superficial friendship. That's it. That's it. You can't go deeper. You can like I said the per- you can go and kick it half, fun, go to the club, whatever. But do not rely on that person do not depend on that person for anything because it's not about you. It's about them. And again, whatever they do for you. Is really alternately for them. So just don't don't necessarily trust that person. You can't I as somebody who I'm still on the fence about if they're in our sister, not, but they were like, I just really love being able to give people raises and like being able to see the excitement on their face when I gave them something that they didn't expect coming and at the time, I was listening to it. And it felt like it was like a positive altruistic. Yeah. It felt altruistic but then after a series of our own interactions. I've come to feel like you know, what that's not really where that was coming from. That's a certain that's about them and ego. And you know, what I've done for you. Yeah. They want praise all the time watching the person just exults at what they have done for them. It's so tricky issue, you don't know a lot. And if you're not really cool with these people, then, you know, you're if you have a boss or somebody that does that you know, that's not that big of a deal because you're not an intimate relationship. But when you take it to another level of the cylinder dating, and you think about like, oh, they're in your life..

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