Wagner, JIM, Shanley Knox discussed on The Reboot Podcast
I am finally enough enough for what love safety belonging enough to quiet and still the voices in our heads said tell us we're not enough, you know, those voices. As we move towards enough an away from not enough we set out with a kind of pace that says I'm going to go to that mountain top. I'm going to go to that place. I'm going to cut through the forest the analogy that I think is more helpful is to see ourselves as tacking across the surface of a lake, and so we zigzag across the lake to get from one side to the other to get from feeling like not enough to feeling like I'm enough. And the process of that zigzagging that process of tacking across the lake. We do this kind of mind fuck on our selves where we say because I'm not moving directly across the lake there must be something wrong with me. Welcome to the reboot podcast. We're so glad you're here. Dude. He severed the smile just look forward to the day with the idea of being good enough. The worry of being enough just plain boring for you, a friend and colleague Jim said this to me in a very loving supportive way about two weeks ago. I've got a ton of my own work over the last twenty plus years and have dug deep looked at. So many scary oftentimes overwhelming corners of my psyche that made huge strides my own development. I have no doubt. I am a better partner coach husband father better man, because of this work, but I have so far to go, and perhaps my biggest battle digust opportunity for growth lies in my sense of worth. I don't know exactly when or where it came from. But for a long time, I've had this nagging overwhelming feeling that I must. Just earn my place by doing not just doing but doing more in better than anyone else. Not to excel. But to exist not to succeed, but the survive ABI enough when I do enough it's a trap truth is I'll never be able to do enough. I wanna treadmill on a journey the harder. I run the more. I chased the more exhausted. I become a yet. I'm in the same place for me. Since of worth is varied from moment to moment jumping with the latest words of praise in sinking with perceived criticism or judgment doesn't even have to be real criticism. What is your baseline of worth? My therapist asked me recently. I think it's hero. I replied somewhat sheepishly. I think that's a little harsh in a little extreme. But the dominant voice in my head continues to whisper just do enough and you'll be enough keep doing, but what if there's a different way all this time of looking for the thing out there that will make me enough. What about what's right here? What if the way that win the race is to stop? What if the way to be enough is to just be indebted Wagner's poem lost? He ends with are surely lost. Stan still the forest knows. Where you are. You must let it find you. What if I can just be here? I'm still trying to figure out what that means be honest. But it definitely feels like a new direction it feels like an end to the race. And that's a great place to start. Shanley knox. As a writer strategist in social entrepreneur. She's been a powerful bridge for entrepreneurs in east Africa, connecting them with greater opportunities and brands the US but underlying her drive to have an impact in to help. So many we see that she too has been running hard race the race to be enough in this conversation with Jerry Shanley explores the feeling of being lost the drive to run the race in the shame that comes with that. And alternately they settle on a question. What if I'm already where I need to be. And what a fat is enough. Dealer. See you over startup is hard. It can be lonely with long hours never ending unforgiving Doulos. When do you.