"Podcast. I've seen a lot of young women who are seventeen. Eighteen nineteen years old. Who are listening? Because of their age didn't hear about Susan when this was all happening and they're they're hearing it for the first time and having a very different experience than Either of US right in in living that in real time but they're but they're learning so much from it and they'll someone your age age who is what would you be. Would you be Susan's ages head so since you three years you delve. Lv into it. Did you have any clue how sick and twisted this stuff was. Even even with what I knew about Josh and Steve which which was enough to know these guys are not good role when you really look at with the close focus It is I mean the word disturbing can't even begin to cover and has changed who you are. Yes and it changed how you deal with people people and you are now better. Qualified are better able to help people and there's decisions and seeing these things differently really the thing. I was with the reason the police released. The file is because we were going to sue them if they didn't so then they released a redacted. Copy though you don't have to sue US okay. The reason they release reset the unredacted copy because we were going to sue them. Because try and get this because I want more people to look at it and work on it and the thing I didn't want because has rejected files and and seeing their files is they had all steve's garbage and I didn't WanNa look at it and I don't want to look at it I didn't have have to look at it because everybody else look a few other people looked at it and I thank you so much for putting up with it and going to that and and stuff. So it's it's just something that needed to be done in a story told that I couldn't have told as Susan's bother. I couldn't could've toll it with any credibility or any objectively would all be a question where somebody else could. And that's that's you you show me things I had no clue about the depravity or the how bad it was and I'm glad I didn't. There was one time I went to the House House. Josh was supposed to take care of the boys and Susan. I gotta go out and do something. I don't remember what it was anyway. A but she She forgot something. I have to go back and come with me okay. Let's be quiet we don't want to the boys will WANNA I don't want to have to say no okay so we're going up the stairs to the second floor and she retrieves something but as soon as I got the top the store the stairs I she looked at me she goes. Do you feel it. I go what I go. I feel uncomfortable. I not exactly happy to be here. She goes you feel the evil. She kept things in perspective that was Steep House House. Steve Pals Yeah. They reached something at the top of the stairs. Dart at I thought that was interesting that she would say that to me yet. I'll bring that up in all of that really ugly environment that she found herself in through no action of her own right aside from meeting the wrong guys for initial mistake. Yeah for her to persist as long as she did in being the champion of her own value beak so much to her character. And I honestly believe it's an inspiration. Two people who hear her story myself included so I think the boys are lot big part of it so those kids meant everything to her and she was a real good. Mother need to learn from lessons from the past for the future. And this this is one of those lessons that can be repeated off and on S. needs to be. It'll be a little differently but you know it's still the same story good versus evil trying hard and you know and one of my daughters who has rejected everything. She was raised on We'll say leave it there but anyway he's okay. I WanNa talk to you and I need your help and everything but don't tell me to about prayer or God and I'm going pray when you have a question and that's what I've done so I don't understand how anybody can handle it without that kind of support include including Susan when when I was reading through so so much of Susan's writings and she's talking about going to her bishop asking for that council going to the temple and praying about it and it seemed very important to me that that part of Susan's life experience be presented so that people can understand Dan. It's not just what any one of US perceives about. Our our personal feelings about religion aren't was important. It's what Susan believed right and doing doing justice and honor to that. And when Steve and Josh who were Steve This openly that he wants to destroy the church. Jesus Christ latter-day Saints when they say well. She didn't really like it he was all well. Let's let that was ridiculous and you know she was trying to live it Josh. We're taking advantage that when he was looking for a woman within the church search. You know the very thing he saying that he didn't care about in the only waste reasons. He stuck around. As long as she did is she was trying to follow every everything along those that the church taught and she was not given up on him. Even though it was clear to me in the beginning of this there was nothing to be true to begin as soon as I started but but once it did she was going down that road and she kept investing time and energy and and love and stuff to try. Try and bring him back and save him and all that when he was a loss case from the beginning. I don't know I would never dreamed. Winded Steve was as messed up as he was their families as messed up his. I don't know how you would ever comprehend that I don't think anyone who's not actually lived it and including myself can really understand what the dynamics of the Palley were how how strange it was. We stayed away from Steve because we figured it. He wasn't good news and wasn't a pro. We didn't have to be there so we stayed away from it. Which as most people would you just avoid those issues? He's so it's opener is to that I guess I believe there is evil. And there's certainly good and there's gardeners there's a disc Satan and I think when you go down that pass here you're subject told that aren't making bad choices you make like the responsibility was on Josh to to not make those decisions right. But also he was. Steve taught him to be who he was. And Steve's parents affected MSU brought out in there and is that a terrible i. It's just a sad waste of life. Waste of time and tragedy that his time life his steve ruined his family and his but is he a victim. And who's going to judge judge stat by STAT I. I don't know what his life was like a child. I don't know what his parents lice were. So as much as I he was and what he did in the situation he did. Who can judge that not me? It worries me when I see people. People Focus too much on Steve Right when the focus needs to be on Susan. It's about Susan and where she is. I think the right time she'll be found and if not you know there's a whole lot of people in the world let her missing people will never see they're gonna get so at least not on this earth but to to your point I mean I have that house as well yeah. There's hope so if it's been ten years years we still haven't found her living day to day as we always do and every time every time there's Zabad pound every time there's a you know could ever found somewhere we start wondering is this. The one is our awaken. Be Over. We'll we'll be able to put her whatever's left to her to rest with their but were fateful or whoever is found even even though it remains. It's still good. Take matter how hard that has to be. It's hard but I think it's harder not knowing I mean we don't know yet or you know I love to be wrong and she blocking the door sometime or get a call. Hey there's this person you know I've had dreams. Were that has happened waking up thicky. She's home they'll dream. Aw but it was a good dream you know for that day. It was a piece moment. That was If Susan story sounds familiar in your own life in other words if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse in any form. Please get immediate help in the. US support is a phone. Call Away at the national domestic violence hotline at one eight hundred seven nine nine seven two three three four online at www dot the hotline dot. Org My thanks again to chuck and Judy Cox for their candor and continued. Willingness is to share their daughter. Susan's story thanks as well to my colleague Nina Ernest for her work. Editing this episode Michael Bond Miller composed the music for cold old with additional sounds and songs by me. Cold is a production of K._S._l.. podcasts thank you for listening.."