Monastery Chapel, Jesus, Richard Cardillo discussed on The Story Collider
From Richard Cardillo. It was recorded in May two thousand Seventeen at Union Hall in Brooklyn. The theme that night was in visibility. Hi. It's September of Nineteen, eighty mid six o'clock in the morning and I'm in the monastery chapel like am every morning at six am. And it's my turn to read the gospel meditation to my seventeen brother. Monks. I go up to the front. So electrons open the Bible and I begin reading. and Jesus said. In a little while and you will see me no more and then in a little while you will see me again. Are closed the Bible. I go back to my pew kneeling and have the most profound meditation and reflection. Damn. I want some of that magic trick invisibility going rogue disappear without anybody knowing where you are I had this crazy fantasy you know. marie-yvonne trapped. When she wanted to disappear from the conference, you go prancing through the Alps I wanted to disappear from my monastery and I wanted to go cruising through the ramble in central park but I didn't and I wouldn't. I'm twenty, two years old and I've already been five years inside the. Sounds like a prison sentence. I'm giving you a message from the inside but I joined at the tender young age of seventeen. I made this experiment and in visibility at the time. I knew. Kind of knew. That I was gay and I was so ashamed and so afraid of that I figured I could pray away the gay by joining a monastery. So that's what I did. I go to formation. This frustration was at lasting a little bit longer than usual, but I wasn't going to act on it. I was going to stay faithful. I had this Pesky little idea that I could just turn things around I. Even Changed My name in the monastery I'm Richard My name's Richard but. Beginning in my first year, the monastery and for fourteen years after that I became furthermore work. And that persona took on everything that I wanted to be but new inside I wasn't. And I wasn't going to act on any of those things I told you these pesky little idea which is my vow of Celibacy. I've made a promise and a vow that I would never ever have any relations with a human being ever for the rest of my life. So I went through with it I. It was hard. I kept shuttling the words of Horton..