Emily, Saint, Spurs discussed on Risen Motherhood



Child to any schooling system? Because there's there's pros and cons to every toys or strengths and weaknesses. And so you know, can you just give some gospel hoax that mom because I know Emily and I were at the beginning of the stage, but we already feel something's -iety about it and I'm not sure like that is going to go away at certain moments. I mean, I'm sure there's always moments as a mom that you're feeling like, did I make the right choice? Was that the right thing for my family or for this individual child? Yeah, I really don't. I think we have a tendency in general as Christians to place a lot of emphasis on the decision point in in cease to recognize that God is way less invested in your decision than he is in what happens. After the decision. He's interested in who your child is not where your child is educated. Now, those two things may relate to one another, but we tend to think if I make the wrong decision than all is lost. And that's just that is not a true narrative and not only that, but in trying to decide what is the quote right decision. It's important for us to keep examining whether we are reaching our conclusion based on what our peers are saying, our other parents because you know parental peer pressure is the same. We won't the ruble of our friends and we want to be perceived as being a good parent, not a bad parent. And so depending on what little subculture you're living in in your area, you can be heavily influenced just by what everybody else is doing because you don't want to deal with the scrutiny of going against the grain. And in fact, in our case, I would say that by putting our kid. In public school, that was the move that was going against the grain in some cases because when you're in the church and you have four kids and four, six and and you're on record as being committed believer. People assume that do home school private school, and I would get emails from women saying, can you tell me what curriculum you're using in your home schooled in? Oh, gosh. I don't know how to break. Yeah. In that they'll be disappointed to learn that we've seen it. One thing. I really appreciate that. You've talked about a lot on other platforms kind of influences and our children's lives and the influence of parents and the the faith of mom and dad, and living out the gospel in the home. And so I think that's, you know, one of my questions about public school in private school, but public school may even more so as parents Saint, how, what does that look like then to be intentional in the home? How did you guys than teacher children? Scripture teacher children just re bringing them up in the Lord when they did spend more time outside of the home. We definitely know that's possible, but I think it's good and helpful for us to hear what that looks like. Well, I mean the teaching points just right themselves when you're gives us spend all day. It's about when you're together as a family talking about spiritual things. And that's one of the things really that I have loved about. The kids being in public school is there's no shillyshallying around about who is a believer and who isn't children in the public schools educators in the public schools, they are not trying to present themselves as one thing when in fact there another, they, they're upfront with where they're coming from. And so the, you know, the, the whole sort of nominal Christian syndrome that can exist is just not in in the public schools. If you do say that you are a Christian, it's not going to garner you favor and friends. It's probably going to make you seem a little bit weird and that means that when you get home home is a place where you X HALE in, you know that this is where we have shared values and shared beliefs, and we have this conversations. And so I think that. Too often, people who put their Christians who put their kids in public schools are seen as just sort of throwing their kids to the wolves and and not being sensitive to the influences that they will come up against, not just from their peers, but also from their teachers. And I always like to remind parents that they don't know anyone who got their world view from their third grade teacher that children spend way more time around us on the whole when they do around these other people. And we have way more capacity for modeling either good or bad for our children than any other adult in their lives and certainly than any radio kids next to him at the lunch table telling them all the things that that you really don't want them to know. So that's a comfort. It really is because I do think that's a genuine fear of anytime we're sending children out, whether that's, you know, mom sending. Her child to a childcare provider or at a public school or just any influences out there. I think that we can often get way too caught up in the tiny minutia few moments that they were with that person and not kind of pull back and look at the child's life as a whole and how they're being influenced. So that should be hopefully a great relief to moms in all stages of life for sure. And then coming back to just people who are at the beginning stages, because that's the majority of our listeners who are just starting to navigate some of these decisions. Can you just offer some tips for how a mom and dad might thoughtfully or preferably work through the education options? So not just for public school, but just for all of the options in front of them because there are a lot. Yeah, I think there there is a you need to start by asking, you know what's best for your child in your family, but that can't be the only question that you ask because we, if we only ever did what was best for our child in our family, we wouldn't be very good citizens in our communities. And so it may be that your education decision is closely tied to the specific needs of a child or a specific aspect of your family's needs. But there ought to be some way to make that decision that also takes into account the community in which you live because I do think it can be a danger of choosing non public school options that we then don't recognize some of the very real education needs that exist all around us for people who who are not able to choose home school or public school because for homeschool, an public school, there are there are socio economic implications for even being able to have those as an option for you to choose. And I think we should be honest about that. We should acknowledge that there. We cannot say home schooling is the really the best way to educate our kids. And really everyone should be doing that. Because the the single mom who's working minimum wage job does not have that as an option and then is supposed to care for your pound stigma because she's not a good enough mom. I mean, it doesn't make any sense right only option is going to be public school. So whereas my own family I made aside educationally, I want to invest in them and do home schooling. I'm still going to look for ways to serve my communities educational needs. In addition to that, just because I've settled what my own children need doesn't mean that I get to turn my eyes away from what the other children in my community also might need. From schooling could be valid. So I think as you're thinking through the decision, it's important -portant to first of all, not make a fear based decision. Too often. When we start thinking through these things were trying to minimize fears instead of ask basic questions around will. Why is this one particular pro-choice better than this other approach for the Wilkin family? We were not concerned about the spiritual competent of sending our kids to public school. We felt like it actually challenged us appropriately as parents to take full responsibility for the spiritual nurture of our children, which is not to say that it is wrong for your children to receive spiritual nurture, a private school setting or in a home setting, but simply that it was the right set of checks and balances for us to know that they were not going to be getting it at school. They might be getting the opposite of it at school and that that was an opportunity, not a threat. I love that you just share that. I'm not sure I've heard anybody put it into. Words quite like that. That can be actually the very thing that Spurs parents onto have really intentional conversations and to be making sure when they are at home that that investment is happening because you know that it's not happening from the teachers or necessarily from the general peers. And another thing I think we heard on a podcast, you talk about schooling, just the diversity component as well. And we have my husband and I have a son, it's getting ready to enter the public school system because he needs he's got special needs and has some, you know, he's going to need help and accommodation in the public schools. Probably the only place that's really a quick to do that. And one of the things is doctor said to us recently as we were discussing the options, he said, you know, I think this is going to be more than just a blessing to you guys. This is going to bless other people to be around him and to see differences. And that was a good reminder to me of just. The the differences are in the public school setting often and how that can really benefit kits. Yeah, absolutely. They encounter every form of diversity and they, you know. So there's the having the children with special needs who are in regular contact with the children who

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