A new story from Bertcast's Podcast
Birdie boy body shots world tour or is still going on. I'm getting on a plane tonight. I'm doing one pop-up show at a comedy club I did not. I didn't I think I now sat last week by the import around. Social Media apologized at one who didn't get tickets and then I am off to Cincinnati Ohio Columbus Ohio Chicago the Chicago Kaga Theater two shows in all of these respectively and then Fort Wayne Indiana. The new tour will be all new material It obviously I would never go back and do this material for the machine story. I mean if you want it I'll tell it if not I'll tell another story you tell me what you want me to tell I was gonNA call this tour. Pick your poison and have you guys pick it on my website but that came super fucking complicated so we came with Birdie boy. Why Bernie boy? Why Bernie Boylan because all of your female family members call you Birdie Boyer Sisters? Your daughter's everybody. Everyone calls me birdy boy. Just a natural fit. It's a kind of tour that I wouldn't mind. Not Saying the name over and over again like a man boy anyway and then we'll be going abroad to Europe and Australia again. All immaterial But I'm wrapping and this one up. I'm wrapping up the body shots world. Tour by southward towards been amazing. Amazing has been a dream. Come true it's been out of this world. Nothing will change. We'll start tour. Bus will still go party after the show. Although I've not been feel my Parkinson's Sobre Ctober left. Why do you have to party? Why can't you just hang out without partying when I was in college? I was a psychology major and I remember raising my hand in this behavioral psychology class and asking why people could dance when they were drunk but couldn't dance when they were sober and she said that you can anything your physical body can do sober. It can do drunk or vice versa so it is. It is just a psychological block that makes you think you can't dance when you're sober because if your physical body can do it drunk your physical body can do it sober. So why can't so you party without drinking. I don't know I don't think that was technically. The question was is asking closet technically question. I'm asked Loeb. I haven't felt like partium Indian. So why do you have to. That was the question. 'cause I'm right now I don't know I'm just I'm just talking okay. I'm just talking about in the middle of like a like breath Philip in the middle of a midlife crisis are you. Oh no another one. I've dismissed bull Malarkey if it for baby doll. I'm sorry this is not your first midlife crisis. Just really happy that you forget her gut my just back after sober October. I wonder if you have that hormone that women have to have a baby your body releases a hormone that makes you forget the horrific the thickness of having a baby. I wonder if that's what happens after you're like midlife crisis breakdown. Don't know some things a little differently. I'm starting to see health a little differently. Good like I. I don't know I it it's What do you call them totems? Well you know what it is you know. What's so funny? Not by the way this could have been a bit if fighting just share it on my blog guest totems were thing before the Internet started taking what you Google and then flashing it in front of you every twenty five seconds against what do you mean. I'm confused so if you totem like your spirit. Animal is something that you see keep popping up in your life and then you're like Whoa. That's the path I need to be following. Okay but what happens with the Internet. Say You watch one video on. Rt Lang's recovery and then read an article in Jamie Curtis's recovery. Then all you get a recovery. The articles coming up in your news feed Google. Nike SB low dunks. When you're on facebook you'll see an ad for Nike s below dumped on the right? And you're like it's creepy and you're like did that really happen genuinely happens Yeah it's one hundred percent that's your Alexa. Here's it that's creepy so totems out the fucking window because you face you Google something about like say addiction or something and then all of a sudden. That's all you get articles about that today when I was like I've been getting getting a lot remember. We were talking about it and I was like. I'm getting a lot of things about like guy. quit drinking for three years. Look at a change in his body ardy land and then I was like Oh. It's just just because I fucking read one article and then the Internet's like Oh. Somebody likes the David Bizarre to know that work like that. Ah That's disturbing. I feel watched. Well I feel violated a little bit with it. I think it's it's almost like it's almost like kill well. Here's a question. I've never bought shoes on instagram. freaking shoes come up constantly. All man must've why I've never bought shoes there. I don't know I can't answer that you talk about shoes instagram. A note. No Good God. It's like you just on the Internet. How did you not happen? Because I don't like the Internet I have a flight to catch at our cars. Picking US up ten minutes. Well you better hurry up then I just want you guys to come see me on the Birdie boy US store. I'm super excited. I'm super super excited. You know why I will tell you there's A. There's a little bit of a time crunch. It happens when you do do. We had a weird time Clinton. We started the bur the body shots world tour. We thought I thought I was going to be shooting a special in June. You remember that yes and I was panicked and so I was in a fever. Pitch to write because I was like. I don't know if I could turn around a special in six months. And then all of a sudden they were like don't worry we don't have to do it until November and then relaxed and I had fun with it. This is going to be a fun fun. Fun Fun tour with no parameters no special at the end of it no lurking Deadline to come through with Figino as far as I know as of now are just need an opener for if you guys have seen any of my shows shows that you've given the open that one with strong just even oprah say I need an over our fucking gone sage goddamn shirt off. I'm such a fucking piece of shit. No you're you're not such a fun talk like that. That's not nice. one time I have a propensity to beat myself up in my head yes up is doing it pretty be bad today. you very punitive with yourself. And with others he goes. If you're thinking about writing a shitty comment to me online Cole. No need to I do it already. Oh yeah he thank you to the Punch for sure. Whatever you think of me thought it times a million well in that Kinda makes you immune so it's Kinda good does not make you a moon? It just validates the dates your thoughts about you if you if you take if you let them. Oh these these poor. I'll tell you what I have this phone number. I've been getting a lot of shitty things online because a lot of people getting these phone numbers and look I use it for four reasons. I text you when my chose going sale. So you'll get a text tomorrow of you got that number. You got the tax from me this morning. Get a tax on your birthday when my special air attacks taxed end if I have a TV show. That's airing I'll give you a tax for that that's all you got them for but celebrities are getting them. The I'll tell you the two things are fucking fascinating to me really really fun. We talked about this. A little bit is watching. Someone spiral out on text. It is it has been fucking insane to watch it makes. Is your heart break a little bit for because that never happened. When I was a kid you never spout you? Leave voicemails like a bunch of messages like psycho messages passages and no one does anymore but damn man this poor guy. I'll say his name. He spun out so fucking hard via tax and you it was clear that a man in his life had walked out on him that he lost his father at some point. This father stopped caring airing about him. The way he started unraveling and saying this is exactly who I thought you were. Oh Wow an exact and I'm like by the way I just I I get I get like about four thousand tax day right now so like I can't go through all them but his happened to be at the top of the thing. This is exactly who I thought you were and did you. Reply are say hey brother I said I'm sorry I just got to this and then I answer. He had like nine questions. I answer all them him and he was like I wish I could remember what he did but what he did was even crazier like he just. He didn't tax back. uh-huh oh man. Sorry about that no I. I wish I could be. Couldn't be wrong now. He couldn't be wrong but it was like he was already so hurt and I was. I came in I. I don't I'm not gonNA over text you at this number. I'm not going to blow you guys spot up. I'm not going to sell your number. I'm not gonNA share your number. The number three two three two eight. Oh eight four four but if if you want to tax on them and I get on there every morning for like ten minutes and replied attacks I send out a happy birthday. I usually apply to everyone that I sent a happy birthday to. Because those those are the first people to write PLA- back and that's what I'm on but Yeah it's it's amazing. I think if you went through this country and you talked what about as you if you get like a judge mental illness way you can with like overweightness you look at obesity rates. Walk around our country. You'll see a lot of obesity myself included food and but if you walk around and you could see people's mental stability the way you see obesity. I think it'll break your fucking heart. I think you're probably right by the way I'm only saying that because because I'm a little bit I was in a funk today panic attacks I couldn't get out of them. Yeah could not turn them around. I didn't know how to turn them around and I was like. Come on big guy you got this this your. Everything's going good and then I would. Just it was like a sense of dread I think it was something chemical in your body or lack thereof era. This all fucking fits in perfectly with today's podcast. It really does Today's podcast Goeman. Gary Goldman has a special streaming right now on. HBO KBCO who I think Hulu just picked up his last special and his airing it..