Adrian, Joe Pinsker, Jaso Turner discussed on On Point with Tom Ashbrook | Podcasts
Listen, subscribe, now, this is on point. Meghna chucker bardy. We're talking about technology in long distance relationships this hour, Joe Pinsker is with us. He's written about this for the Atlantic, where he covers families in education. The Don black is also with us, she's author, an author and a relationship expert in an online relationship coach for match dot com. Yahoo and several other websites. And while the comments are really tumbling in fast and furious Jaso Turner, says, I'm two minds of this part of me thinks, I'd rather just be single. But another part of me has to concede if you find a soulmate and this is your option for a while, while you do what you need to do to maintain the relationship. So Jaso Turner says its deflated his visceral inclination to snark. Good. Jason. I'm glad to hear that Laura Marquez. Says my two plus years away from my husband then boyfriend when he's he was deployed was hard. But we didn't rely on technology exclusively letters and surprise gifts are romantic also lack of physical intimacy forced us to become closer emotionally. So on this note of deployments, leading to long term long distance relationship. Let's go to Adrian who's calling from Virginia Beach, Virginia. Adrian, you're on the air. Hi, thanks for taking my call. Great to have you. So, so you're, you're connected to remember the military. Well, I am actually active duty myself, and I'm a embedded and then I'll help provider with a regular with the deployment with a unit that deploys regularly. And so I just wanted to comment that with the sailors that I serve and myself technology is certainly something that we rely on to stay in stay connected with our spouses, or children are significant others and our family back home, and it is something that has certainly come a significantly long way over the past decades that has been immensely helpful to us. But at the same time because it's so easily accessible now. It's it's no longer, just as some of your callers, and commenters and said, you get the good news. But you also get the bad. And so instead of it being kind of like it was back in previous, conflicts and say, we'll just use stereotypical Vietnam, where you'd get a letter once a month or such as that would give you an update on how things are going so well, and keep you motivated and looking forward to coming home. You're, you're hearing about the broken dishwasher. And you're you may even be asked to, you know, get a hold of the provider yourself, the, the mechanic mountain fix it because maybe your spouse doesn't know who to call or doesn't feel comfortable doesn't have the time and you're half a world away, but you're being asked to fill this role that really you're not present for, and it adds this, it can add, this additional layer of stress to already deployed servicemember, and that's kind of what I'm there for. But at the same time I just feel like it's kind of technology become this really two sided. Coin where it's really great. And it allows us to stay connected back home. But it allows us to stay connected to the day to day struggles back home as well. That we, although we may feel that we need to be involved with, we need to help with we really can't because there's not much you can do when you're thousands of miles away on deployment Adrian, thank you so much for your call. Joe pinsker. What, what are you hearing? What Adrian saying? Yeah. I think my my what's occurring to me. Now is just that. Yes, it's true. That technology is bringing in both the good and the bad. But what I would argue is that relationships have a mix of good and bad, and, and working through some of the harder. More difficult stuff is actually how you build intimacy. And so, yes, I probably you don't wanna be hearing about the broken dishwasher..