America, Hollywood, Steve Martin discussed on Glenn Beck


America's got talent. Just don't watch TV, generally speaking. But my son came to me with YouTube said dad, you have to see this woman. Vicki Barr Baloch is her name. She was she sixty or sixty years old. I'm the sixty one this year, your sexy one, okay? And she came out on stage. And I don't remember who it was Naomi Campbell. Or somebody said what are you gonna do? And she said, I'm a ballerina, and she's clearly not about arena and followed that with no, I'm kidding. I like to eat. So I'm not a ballerina and it went on from there. And she came back. I think two times after that. I think there was you know, I think there was like four more shows till the last final. Okay. And you are now going back for the champions. Where are they? Now the driveway. You've been a comedian twenty years twenty years, and you kind of found yourself in a place where you were too old for your own clubs club. I mean. Yeah, I mean, I didn't start till I was nearly forty and I didn't know that was not a good idea. I wouldn't have started. I probably would have that. Because I am an idiot. But and so I was I was having a great time doing it. But when I would go what would happen to me. Like e television would say the next breakthrough from the comedy store. I would go to these agents in Hollywood, and they go. Well, we we you too fat. You're too old to a we there's nothing we can do for you. I just I just kept hoping something would happen. But I just. Steve Martin said you get so good. They can't ignore you. And that was my only plan just keep doing it. Keep loving it. But I kept thinking maybe Steve was wrong. America's got talent happen. And what happened that show has such a gigantic reach and the people it brought to me it just been Hollywood had to come around. You are without being politically incorrect. I mean, you are clearly correct. But without trying to be politically incorrect, you are just so natural. You just feel like somebody that everybody knows that's fun about what I'm doing is. I am like meat and potatoes comedy. I'm the middle of the road. I'm a mid western Mitzi. The owner of the comedy store. She goes are you from the midwest? And I said, no. But my parents my mother is from Iowa. My uncles are my heroes in there from Iowa. She goes Yankee cow, very midwest sense of humor. I've never lived in the midwest. That is right. That is I think America your dad. My dad played for the Pittsburgh Steelers. You played for the Steelers not bragging back. I just want you to know daughter of an NFL football player. No padding. Yeah. So he had been hit around a lot. You know, leather helmet time for him. Fifty one. And so as I grew up he was Daffy and Daffy Daffy, but he was just lots of fun. And you know, he was just a a great dad, but he was totally Daffy. So where do you get this from your dad or from your mom because you're I think I was also a little fat little kid. I was like hugely fat. It was like two hundred and twenty at twelve and so that was my birthday hundred four pounds. Was really let yourself. So my my life was a child who was bullied in. And I would make the fat jokes. I so fat jokes were defense. I learned that in my whole life that anything good happen to me came because I can make people laugh. So as always something that I did I worked for my parents at their carpet store for twenty years. And I didn't care if people bought carpets me. But if they didn't laugh at my joke, I was devastated. So I mean, it was all of always been about making people laugh, and I it the stuffing the stuffing your act, for instance. You know, you never drink alone. Yeah. Like, you know, I I'm very proud of that a lot of the other moms we sit around and drink all day, but I was disciplined only Oklahoma streak alone. I read all the Panthers. I would always I always waited until the kids get home from school. Carlina fake dental appointment when I'm so part. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. And when you when you took your kids on field. That's another thing. My mother for the last generation, I think of women that party twenty four seven, you know, and I got kids I'm thinking party, but the party was over right? I didn't know my mom and her friends always always class on field trips. Get sober with first graders. Not now not ever. Okay. What? So I go on my daughter's first field trip, and I take out my flask. And it is it's not a big algae flask. You know? It's a pretty it's a little to answer. How could you get off any right? I take it now, and I take a little sip and all the other moms on the field trip. They just go ballistic. They're like, you know, she's flat blast calmed down. Biaggi's? I'm not driving the bus. So how much of your life is true? How much how much is how much is? For instance. Do you watch the marvelous missile, I do watch it? I think it's one of the most brilliant shows ever. So great for women. I are you so fee. The Sophie character put that on your plate. That is completely. Are we going to find out you're living in a mansion? Yes, you are. Keep going triple. That's pretty much and the thing about the drinking alone. That was my mother every day, I came home from school. My mother would sit there with de cards between her legs from inside out with a large amount of safety pins here in case thirty people needed a safety pin. The president of the PTA. She was a traitor of the Women's Club. She was all those things and she would come home. And the first beer would open poop when we'd walk in that side door. And my mother was a fun woman. I started when I started stand up telling that story to audiences got worried for me that I had this terrible childhood with crazy. It wasn't like that. My mother was a blast. And she was it wasn't like that. So I took that story of my mother, and I put it on me. And I mean, I do love to party. I'm not lying about that. Box wine is my life. It's so everything in my everything that I that I talk about is coming from a truth that I know. Right. You know, and you, but you do beautiful trailer. Then you cannot dynamite me I waited five years to buy the second best trailer in my trailer park. And I would like look at their trash can for like five years. I'd like what what's in there. I knew they liked Applebee's. That's all they know. And then one day the trash was empty, and I called the trailer park realtor lessees he's like ninety I'm like with I want to buy this trailer. He loaned me the money. I started GT at the same time is trying to get this dream trailer. It all worked out. But I mean, I mean, I this. I am so proud of the hill. Look, it's beautiful. So you're you're out of the slums down trailer part of the I call that part of the park the ghetto called this the heights. I don't talk to anyone below the lake which is actually a drainage ditch look like a lake. Speak to those people anymore. I wish I could. But I cannot right? Well, you're in a different. And I'm thinking look up on the hill and be inspired by what you're trying to say. Give up your. So you know, if you sold your high class top of the hill. You know trailer there in California, you could probably live in a twenty thousand square foot home here in Texas. You know, I love you always had a dream seven years ago. My friend Brett Frank who lives in Denton. He saw me in Hollywood flew me out here for his birthday party. Dennis thirtieth birthday. I two stepped all night. I had the time of my life. He, and I took my promo pack over here to the Dallas improv seven years ago asked him if I could do it set there. They never got back to me. It took me seven years to get here. I've always wanted to be in Texas, something mystical romantic and ever since that night in Denton was on the border. But I mean, I love it here. I would love to have a place on a lake your trailer. I would have to be. Drywall that right now? I just don't feel comfortable around it. I like to be slightly off the ground. See in this part of the country, though, I to be sucked up in this part of the country. I'm going to take it back. I'm gonna have to do. I'm going to have to I'm going to have to face it. Right. I don't wanna get blown to Kansas. Right. Or you can have an underground trailers part of your trade underground, but you go for safety back in just a second with Vicky, Barbara. She is the winner of America's got talent top ten. She is now going to be in the champions edition on NBC. It begins January seven.

Coming up next