Paris, Mooney Ponds, Helen discussed on Conversations
Yeah Abu Sometimes. I was pleasantly surprised and I saw what pleasantly we surprised me was that I could see that actually working at it that I wasn't just thinking. Oh I'll just jot down what happened. Today they're sit down and put it dight and an Thanh John and our tried to write coherently. I mean that was the point of it really. The coherence I think was if this is my point in in just swap alie noting something and gave me a great deal of pleasure and relief to George so when I went back and looked at some of the early stuff some of it was no what was embarrassing about it was usually content yard just sort of sloppy things that are wouldn't interested anybody else but gradually gradually it seemed to become more thoughtful and kind of fruitful to me. When you you decided that you publish these exerts from the Dr is did you let yourself tweet or or improve a word or punctuation the queen of punctuation even in a hasty Dari would do actuation terribly? Unhappy all stop and but but that was what what I learnt from Artesia. Mrs Dunkley who I've written about in the past. She had taught me the joy over of getting it right because when you get something writes in technically this kind of chunky feeling where everything stable and this means an enormous amount to me and it's in a sense Stats the Dari is what Malcolm gled- will would call my ten thousand hours. He's Audie that people that are good at something. You don't get to be good at something unless you've done ten thousand dollars over and it also makes sense that you wouldn't do it sloppily. Just like a a athlete. Wouldn't if I was swimming in training. Wouldn't do the a stroke incorrectly. Strike to get to the end of the pool. You know you're trying to your a musician trying to make a sound that somebody else mar ought to listen to or even that you yourself locked listen to because your the first reader or the firstly small. We concerned about other people's privacy. Helen learn. I mean you had to have that first question about yourself. Can you better put this out there. But what about the people who are in your life in these. Yes I did think about that. Sure I will. I thought when I first started choosing ward putting the book or you know discarding what I wouldn't put it in. The book are thought okay. I'm going to have have to ask people about this. I thought wall not gonNA ask him now. All ask lighter all work on this text just as if it weren't going to be become public I'll just try to make it into something that I am happy with and because I think this is what I noticed this now. There's a tremendous fear anxiety about what you're allowed to say. And I hate and fear that and I'm prepared to two fighters and that doesn't mean I don't care about the effect of water rush rush on other people but means that I I don't want to censor myself at the beginning. Sometimes I've taught little courses courses taken a so-called masterclass and our member one particular one a couple of years ago where there were about ten or twelve people in the room and each one of them had a fantastic idea for for what they wanted to write but as they went on I realized how they they were terrified of something and I couldn't work out what it was. I mean. There's obviously what Somebody Hillary mental novel 'cause proper fear which is the fee that you must feel before any peace lisa creative work because it shows that you've got a healthy relationship to what's difficult about it but these people they keep saying who's permission to our have ticket kit before I do this research or Who who what do I have to get people to sign? I don't believe it. I didn't know what they were talking about. And I think this coming out of universities this whole ethics committee sort of deal which draws me screaming round the twist. Can't stand it and and I say what it does to people. It makes a fried to white into the territory the longing to white into and and are numbered by the end of the day. I just wanted to heart on them. You know I wanted to say look. No one's GONNA come into the room behind you and tight and run out and publish the book at advocating. When you starting at get in there and Bligh's away then later worry about it then think okay? Who will this hurt? Is it all right for me. He decide this had. Why feel about this person? Do I want to ask this person's permission but get the thing written. I an affiliated with great vehemence. Ah Really worries me that people sort of become so kinda pussyfooting around anyway. I had this thing that was about to become a book. They are thought. Okay we'll have to conceal everybody's identity that same decent thing today so our headquarters thought with this wonderful idea. I'd give each person what I thought over certain the high near ICK epithets we and I thought are really thought they were going to work is really dumb but I greatly enjoyed enjoyed it. I loved giving names to people. Early headed headed one or or a married man or The born again or the Laura student and I saw you buy shirt you know when it was all done in our practice ridiculous things are still thinking that it was sort of cool because I was trying to make the whole thing kind of float in our didn't want it to be way down by people going all that must be so and so you know I just wanted the thing to float float on and I figured that the more floated the more other people would seat himself. I mean strangers who reading it would feel that it had something. Go with them. Because it wasn't about me it was about the world and it was about how people what sorts of people there are in the world and how they relate to each other and and one thing on our fisheries that are not unique and my experiences and not unique and what I was hope for is that other people will read my stuff and go kart. That could be me. And so so here on wars with my manuscript bristling with these high America Foods and my editor whose name Miss Join Peace. And she's a person of great delicacy and skill. She said Look Helen. I'm not so sure about the America. Befits okay what one was always out right and she said no really. I don't think people go to keep them in the hits for one hundred fifty pages or have logged ladies and come on. So is there a deflated and she said why. Don't you give them initials bug that it's awful. I hate that and then I went away and and thought about it and I thought no. It's actually really good idea. And I thought of other books that I knew that had initials thought I'll give everybody an initial just won and weren't put a full stop after diva daringly thought so but then when it comes to the homeric some of them are loved so much and they seem to be doing so much work as phrases so some people have gotten initial and America fish or some have. Just go home Eric. With if it like the born again or the born agains brother. I just thought that the phrase the born again is doing such an enormous amount of work an on one person. I asked listener in my diary. I hope it's okay this just one little scene near that Joran and I said I'm giving you an initial Ange uncivil initial. If you give him an I said Oh and she said No. You can't call me. Oh don't call me. I want to know circumstances what she said. Well who you know because the story of how awful book that we already in the seventies that was about masochistic affair. Okay so I try and did or I forget what got some other. Some bloke is now called out the door is open as you say in in Paris nine seventy eight where you and your daughter who you give the initial came to a living. Why were you there? Helen what brought you to Paris. In nineteen seventy well ninety seventy-seven monkey grip came out and all right then got a literature board grant after that which I didn't even know they existed until after that and also my grandmother Dr and she left me three thousand dollars and I thought for once of glue bit of money and I could go somewhere an an arcade go somewhere interesting and archetype. My daughter with me and I had various friends who were in England and and one particular fringy lived in Paterson Arison Mono we just went to. London hung out there for a while and she was in school there for a couple of weeks and came out with a cockney accent. took her better week week. She say come home from school and say four piece to get a portion. What the Hell is a portion? And she said that's what they call efficient ships here portion so that was fun anyway. Then we went to France and that was hard of course I was very lonely and because it sounds like a dream to be riding in May Harris. Now why is it a dream you know. It's not well it wasn't to me. I put her into school and did she start. Speaking with a French accent. Picked our children pick up a language in about ten minutes. She offered by the end of she was there for one semester and then she went back to style it today with her dad who who just had a baby with with you sick and wife and she was very keen to be involved in that so why she went. But Yeah but obviously 'cause I always used to living Lena's big households and being surrounded by swarms of people walking in and out the whole time and their award in this flooding parison. I mean I was sharing with a friend always very fond of but he was gay and he was out cruising. You know who I mean. It was really quite wild back then. It's always lonely in our trying to write and always making a mess of it and more I. There was no good and I knew it was good because when I started to more publishes when they came through Paris they said this is no good so it wasn't the happiest time you came back to Melbourne. How did MOONEY ponds? Compared to life in Paris well kick to Melbourne and it seemed to me. I've been away about eighteen months and the the sort of seen that there was that had been there when our lift seem to have not evaporated but the households that are new. Boughton are longer were and people were beat older and formed up into couples. Some of them and gone leased More separately and I couldn't find a place to live so I just roved hither in your own until I found this place in Mooney ponds and never even been to Mooney ponds before that and are found this house and was norris. And what kind of encounters did you have with paypal scientist on the straight back in Melbourne. That made you realize yeah there is..