Jerusalem, Bush, Boris Karloff discussed on Giles Coren Has No Idea


Welcome to Giles Coren has no idea it's cool this not because I literally no nothing but because it's all about the moment in the week when I have to sit down and write my column but have absolutely no idea what to write about. Which is where my wife Esther comes in who having read all all the papers whilst I take the kids to school always has half a dozen ideas picked out me when I get back to be discussed at the kitchen table over Nice Cup of coffee Cassese's focused ever or is it is it? He knows motor water long way. We've come started with a massive great big and we just had a massive heart. Mental people can tell when we've I've had a massive row night. Be bended recordable to tell them why we had massive rally. They want us to be perfectly. Okay morning with me. I think it's attention that I'm about to go. Go Away is always this exit row. We always have an exit. Row and reentry was tonight. After recording this podcast well immediately after recording CACUS. I'm going to go upstairs and start packing and I'm going away for a week for the first six weeks of being away to film. I was about to say my stupid bloody not hotel show but people listen. I mean my excellent really corporate and it is really popular and it's important that idea my hotel show and three million people watch it every week and Di Chapman around the world going to hotels as soon as I'm going to have to go start packing. It and I'm too glamorous Scotland for an entire week but you are doing. Some mistrial did wonderful. I assume so it's an amazing hotel. I'm going to miss this fellow. WHO's climbing onto my shoulder attending Yahoo. You've now trained to sleep CONNEC while you're having an APP. It's amazing to think when we did this. Two weeks ago they just arrived and they they were hiding in rolled up. Yoga mats other special northland than hiding places and that's just me and now he's uh-huh oh. There's the microphone you're going to say something similar yeah and now we've got these two weeks have gone and the cats are just Tokyo. Go to go where I'm going to miss them horribly. I now have my afternoon nap with sleeping on my neck back just getting let's move on to win anyway. That's why we had to go away and you pretend it's fine but you're inwardly resentful then look at your face like it was from within the Queen's resting face just incredibly he said grumpy and take that as a compliment okay. You'll call them. I think you should re write the lyrics to Jerusalem. Hey because as you know we desperate to get you to do lyrics. 'cause I think that your great lyrics and poems and stuff like that. Ah Some of the best thing was a news story a news thing okay so the new store. This is come from is the news that Jerusalem Rousselin is Britain's number-one. Hem in what sense what do you mean is number one so what what does that mean. Is there a chart that chart for him is it up from number three was amazing in Grayson then all creatures written smarter than this praise. The views of songs appraise has voted it their number my favorite him. I thought it's always been the UK the one ever no one gets the remote to shit about Jerusalem until the ashes cricket series in two thousand and five and the crowd started singing it the you know how I bet the number two swing-low-sweet-chariot. That's not really him. Rugby people seeing singlets sweet chariot tricky people in Jerusalem and football people saying saying Shit and you know you are which is which is which they also got from Westminster Abbey. Anyway plotted Blah Blah causes toys being played cricket in sporting things he wouldn't be votive but people in Church people people you gotTa Church vote on things. They just leave it alter. It was a Pope Bhai songs appraise really yeah I think so because praises listened to by reasonably churchgoing people. It's a long story but in your hand story well. It's all about the headline. The headline is what's the school rugby him Jerusalem right so it is it is rather to K- schools school head. Jerusalem isn't it yes but I mean that was quite prepared to realize. I was thinking that it was more important than I mean we didn't. We didn't never school him because they they were living with CBC working so they said they used to sing. Jerusalem ed sort of the end of term but it's also the women's institute. I mean anyone who hasn't really got a song just goes assuming they tear is being an intricate team. It's crappy. Westminster School is the Women's Institute and I. It looks to me like that story what it looks to me from the headline that you've read out. It sounds like they're saying that when hymns of praise have a nice yeah songs of praise have a vote on the on the on the put him what happens is that a him from the rugby gets to be number. One does say was not tate. Wait a second. They say that Jerusalem doesn't feature on the list of the top ten lost time. The survey was conducted in twenty so it reminds didn't the thing I used to have a thing in the in the the funny thing about this bollocks to resume so I used to have a thing when I'm I'm sorry sorry what is what is wrong with him. Jerusalem what is based on a massive pathetic patriotic misconception castigating century imperial imperial delusion and did those two nation times who's feeding. They're talking about yeah walk on endless mountains green so what are the other seventeen lines for aw and was the holy lamb of God on England's. No no not a tool stokely wasn't and was the and did the countenance countenance divine shine forth upon these crowded clouded hills crowded clouded. No didn't Jerusalem build it here now. Nobody it's very hard on the nation's favourite him it was so then the column would be how about because I think in the time starring fascinating mating historical questions to which the answer is no and opened up the Daily Mail and it would say was king author a Phoenician mercenary brought to Britain in changed by the Romans to work in a tin mine and then they have fourteen pet. No thank you by my favorite one was did. Adolf Hitler's bad teeth caused the Holocaust. Two Thousand Years of European shepherd is collapsing bryk mark but they used to try and frame it so ah I remember and I and then I invited readers to what was fascinating question and they would cool the paper and then one of somebody wrote him with added those featuring ancient times no and it's the thing that we could be aversion of Jerusalem to which the offices are all yes so how does it and did those feet ancient times walkabout in Palestine never having heard of England yes and did the countenance divine shine forth upon the Galilee while we were all eating fucking thistles and living in holes in the ground yes and it was the worst to roussel them build it in Israel while we just swung from trees and had sex with our sisters yes and then they sing that in your fucking women's institute right. There's that idea dealt with. We've got the classic laughing Esther back from having a massive piss about me. Spoiling has shoutout now. You're good mood. Shout the Bush now. Do I'm GonNa do for you so they look in New Zealand. He walks around the lake in listening to the PODCAST. Maybe maybe we could ask if we could come live within because that's where billionaires are going to go and live. Magadan has been billionaires. Maybe we can come live with listener so shutout and also we've had a shout from. We want to shout out to someone in the Kenyan Bush. They are listening now the sound of the buffaloes in the Tigers with it and you sound like the Kenya Bush very excited because Africa she spent part of a year of Namibia. Maybe and we went to Kenya. It wasn't just a gap here thing I have that she'd been. She has a deep and soulful commitment to the continent and so one of our best friends lives there and Kenyon and now we turn out to have a listener in Kenya who plays it in the Bush and she's telling me she's a film producer and she's just produced a film film called the Elephant Queen which documentary to ten years to make about the journey of a female elephant across Kenya and it's got it's being screened screened in London. I think next week and she's very kindly mister spots. Why don't you have because I think she's in it. He's he's in the right thing to see. Listen listen to a podcast by any chance that will be good. I think it's a very rare in nature documentary. That's not narrated by David after birth so it's very nice it's going to be the new. David attenborough Wang Environment and how we're going to die. Yeah uneasy listen. He's does she have does. She have to peddle a bicycle to generate the power. We used to have to do that when I was in Namibia generate power yeah we had to put a bicycle hooked up to a generator or maybe it was some weird displacement activity but that's how you used to January power in the Bush when I lived in the Bush in the days before podcast anyway that is really exciting. Yeah it is good. Thanks now given given the people listening to this podcast to be what they do. Ben told me this saying that they they listen to one and they like it so much that they binge listen to like twelve in a row we have to remember. I always think it's good I I did set the set that what's happening this week. 'cause we'll probably bollock on and talk about our cats in any old rubbish so we need to let people know what's happening. What's happening. This week. Is brexit still happening. Instill it's been the back of every single one day. People will look back at this show on the twenty th century and that brief moment when jarred Nassar's podcast what happened during Baraga Gang. What was it called brick bricks brick sling bricks bricks skit took about the fact? This is quite interesting and it applies say can be applied talk household. I've written one of my. I know disposable cups so yesterday conference there was this wonderful scene which is the management went totally to piss where Boris is starting to conference different center on the people are shouting out and he's he's embattled by to Boris Karloff problems. It's not going to get us out on the thirty first. Today's the day he he launched his his plan is finally said what is deal is going to be. There is going to be a hard bordering on that isn't going to work. We are not going to leave. Meanwhile Charlotte says that he squeezed her. You pick up the by the American women with the Pole Dancing Boris went round the house and they gave up less than seven times a week. She has a poll and she has pulled on kit but in this case Boris computing lessons and then then an aide put into his hand a cup of coffee and he were much it was about stick with another eight grab it from him and he's seeing mutter notice opposable cups because that's the thing could bring for his fucking Johnston down the man who shagged everything and everybody shouted after his wife allegations of beatings people into the windows the whole the they burn effigies often because he's politically in substantial and a hypocrites. OTC with a non MM disposable with a disposable cup of isn't it. It's all about the thick of it as and the people are saying that this is so terrible that it's so micromanage. Actually I think that has happened. That's brought the notion of disposable more to the fore. It's better that they're trying to show him without a disposable. Calm down. You think deeply about this thing because you've instigated a new way of making coffee in this house. I haven't you oh you know this morning. Housewife and I like trying new things and I was advertise on Accardo Orgy. My weekly shop.

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