Mindfulness

Sit back, relax and listen to the latest in mindfulness, awareness, and compassion in all aspects of life. Sourced from premium podcasts.

A highlight from 3 Ways To Treat Yourself Better After A Toxic Relationship

The Angry Therapist Podcast

03:18 min | 1 d ago

A highlight from 3 Ways To Treat Yourself Better After A Toxic Relationship

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. So you may hear the sound of my puffy marshmallow jacket. Which is kind of embarrassing to wear if you're in Los Angeles 'cause it's like 60 and we all come out with a scarf and beanies and these puffy ski jackets. I'm also wearing shorts. Anyway, hey, before we talk about the three things that you should do or more accurately, three ways to treat yourself better after a toxic relationship. I just wanted to mention to you our new podcasting on purpose and I say our because it's a collective and what's awesome about this podcast is every week you have a different host slash expert so you get the full box of wellness crayons, not just the primary colors. And I've been having so much fun putting this together and I really hope you enjoy it. So check it out, sing on purpose. I'm sure there's a lot of podcasts with that title. This is the one that is based off my book and it has a giant pair of headphones, so it's wide, so check that out. And you don't have to be single to listen to this. You can be in a relationship. It's all about connecting to yourself. Okay, the first thing that I think you can do to treat yourself better after a toxic relationship is start making decisions by asking your self. How can I treat my nervous system better? And I say this because I think many of us don't drop into our bodies and think about how our previous relationships impacted our bodies and how the trauma is stored in our bodies. We just think logically. So we think, here's what I know I need to do. I need to, you know, I don't know, get back into the gym, I need to make more Friends. We have a lot of logical to dos. But we ignore our body, and I think if you've come out of something that has been toxic, chaotic, traumatic. There's a lot of healing that needs to be done to convince your body that you are safe. And no one's going to give you that except yourself. And I think this is where a lot of people make the mistake and they jump into another relationship and there's chemicals firing in their brain and their lenses are distorted. And of course, if that relationship goes south, now there's more layers to

John Kim Los Angeles
A highlight from ACEs & PCEs

The Angry Therapist Podcast

05:57 min | 3 d ago

A highlight from ACEs & PCEs

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. So as you know, my podcast is mostly short form, I bring things to street level, half documentation, and by documentation, me sitting on a toilet talking into my phone. And then the other half, some science, some psychobabble, things I've learned in therapy school, tips, tools, mindset, et cetera but now I'm introducing what I call the angry therapist presents series and the series are from other experts, people that I admire and learn have learned from. Doing what they do best, which is going to be more long form. So if I'm a shark class, series is in a wine glass. And today, I want to present to you friend and trauma expert doctor MC McDonald. She's dedicated her life to trauma and she's new book called unbroken. You should go pick it up. This is the trauma tapes. And these are real stories as she dissects the trauma through her lens. She's a university teacher. She's a coach. She's an author. She's got so much to offer. You're going to get so much out of the next 8 episodes and we're going to release these once a week, enjoy the Trump tapes. We're going to call this episode aces and pieces. We'll see why. Okay. TBT. Okay. Okay, just all excited to listen. Go ahead. So this letter is from how to make sense of all of this. Dear trauma tapes. I'm not sure where to begin. I started going to therapy to work on my disorganized attachment a few years ago, and instead of working on that, my therapist made me take the ace adverse childhood experiences quiz and my score was surprisingly high. I'd never considered that I had experienced trauma until I was 30 years old. I was diagnosed with PTSD. I started trauma therapy. It was hard, and I regressed in a lot of ways. I learned how to feel sadness for myself. Before I could only feel it for other people because I was so emotionally detached from my own experiences. I feel the depression was useful in a way, and I moved past it. Reflecting on my childhood, I realized how much I have hidden from myself, my previous partners and peers. This is the part of my story. I purposely leave out because it still hurts. Both of my parents struggled with untreated mental illness and addiction. They had their own traumatic childhoods. My mom was removed from an extremely neglectful home at 5 years old, where she had been starved and abused. She was adopted by my grandparents. Some of her only memories from that time involved eating rotten lettuce from the trash, but feeling happy about it. My dad was one of 8 and had an abusive and alcoholic father. My older sister became abusive towards me. We lived in sketchy places, campers that smelled like urine without electricity or running water, head lice was never properly treated, and I had it for months at a time. A single wide trailer with 9 other people. We moved a lot. For the first ten years of my life, we dealt with addiction, domestic violence, incarceration, suicide, physical and sexual abuse. I never felt completely safe at home, but it was what I knew. I dreaded getting off the school bus many days. I've carried a lot of shame about not having a normal family. I dissociated through a lot of that time. It didn't fully experience the emotional effects of it directly. I think that's how I held up so well for so long. My mother's childhood trauma was projected on to us. Food was strictly controlled and there were nights I had to sleep at the dinner table if I didn't finish my meal. I would have to eat it the next morning for punishment. From the moment my sister was born, my mother recalls feeling a demonic spirit in her. It was hard to watch my mother treat my sister poorly. It breaks my heart to think about it now. I don't hold any grudges against my family. I know that they were suffering in their own ways and doing the best they could, even if it wasn't always right. My dad was hilarious. My mom is strong and my sister is incredibly creative. I have traumatic memories, but I also have fond memories of them too. I felt safe at school and I had teachers who cared about me and showed me love. I didn't see at home. I made friends easily. I made good grades. I had an existential crisis in second grade and decided I wouldn't treat other people the way I was being treated at home. I would befriend any kid who was not fitting in well on the playground and merge them into my friend group. After all of this, what I remember the most vividly is the faces of everyone who was kind to me and how safe they made me feel. Things drastically got better though. My parents divorced and my dad moved to Nigeria. My mom bought a house for us. She worked 80 hour weeks and we didn't see her much, but she was doing what she had to do. We felt like we had won the lottery. The house had heating and air, and it was nicer than anything we had lived in before. I made a friend from a more stable family, and they would take me on vacations to go skiing and camping. I got to see what a normal family was like, I experienced a lot of amazing things. I normally wouldn't have. She still one of my best Friends to this day. On my 13th birthday, my mom gave me a job busing tables at a restaurant she managed. I loved working and having responsibility.

John Kim Mc Mcdonald Trauma Ptsd Depression Nigeria Skiing
A highlight from 528: The Surprising Power of Healthy Embarrassment | Koshin Paley Ellison

10% Happier with Dan Harris

03:24 min | 3 d ago

A highlight from 528: The Surprising Power of Healthy Embarrassment | Koshin Paley Ellison

"Hello, my fellow suffering beings. We have all got our shit. The parts of our personality or our past that we're ashamed of. I'm talking to hear about our demons, our baggage, our secrets. Nobody is immune. So how do you want to deal with this situation? You want to stay coiled and shame and denial? That approach only makes the demons stronger that I speak from some experience here. And alternative per my guest today is to approach your stuff with what he calls healthy, embarrassment. That allows you to work more skillfully with your baggage so that it doesn't own you. And once your cooler with yourself, that can improve your relationships with other people, which, as you've heard me, yammer on about for years, is probably the most important variable when it comes to your happiness. This dynamic, this approach healthy embarrassment is actually just one of many extremely useful things. We're going to talk about today with my guest who also happens to be a close friend. Coach and Paley Ellison is an author, zen teacher, jungian, psychotherapist, and certified chaplaincy educator. He's the cofounder of the New York zen center for contemplative care, which is an amazing place. Among other things, they train people to volunteer as hospice workers. My wife and I went through that training together during which time we became friends with cochin and his husband chodo Campbell. Caution is now the author of a new book called untangled which centers on a classic Buddhist list called the eightfold path to put it in late terms, the eightfold path is the Buddha's recipe for enlightenment in 8 steps or as quotient puts it. It's the most awesome combo platter. In this conversation, we talk about what the eightfold path is and how it fits into another Buddhist list, the four noble truths, how to use this list to do life better, the danger, though, of perfectionism and putting this list to use in your life, how to bridge the gap between what we say we care about and what we actually do in our lives, how sitting with your pain, counterintuitive as that may be, can lead to freedom. The utility and also pitfalls of gossip, how we can look at the idea of killing in many different ways, including how one can kill a moment or kill the energy in a room. How the concept of right effort can help us find the balance between not doing enough and overworking, which is a huge problem. Many of us deal with. How being uncomfortable is a sign of real engagement with your meditation practice. And cautions addition of the concept mystery as the 9th part of the eightfold path. That's his suggestion to the Buddha. All right, we'll get started with quotient Paley Ellison right after this. Before we dive into today's show, I wanted to let you know about a special offer. We've got for you from the good folks at the 10% happier app. There's a famous quote usually attributed to the teacher ram dass. Here it is. If you think you're enlightened, go home for Thanksgiving. I personally do not think I'm enlightened, but family gatherings around the holidays can certainly put everybody to the test. So why not give yourself a little extra support by leaning into your meditation practice or by getting a practice started for the first time?

Paley Ellison New York Zen Center For Contem Chodo Campbell Jungian Cochin Coach Ram Dass
A highlight from Encore - Shama Rahman - What is Flow? How and Why to Spend More Time In It

Untangle

07:54 min | 4 d ago

A highlight from Encore - Shama Rahman - What is Flow? How and Why to Spend More Time In It

"And I'll be your guide as we go inside the head of some of the world's most extraordinary brain scientists, psychologists, meditators, those who are skilled in the mental arts. And we're going to learn both from their cutting edge work and their own human experience, how our brains work, how to optimize them, and how to manage the crazy in all of our minds. This week, we're going to get inside the head of doctor shama Rahman. She's a PhD neuroscientist who studies creativity and flow. And so this week we're going to flow inside of her brain and learn how to get creative. She's going to teach us about the neuroscience of flow and creativity and how we can spend more time in those states. So welcome shama, we're excited to get inside your head. I hope you like what you find in there. I'm sure. So let's just begin with defining what flow is. It's a concept that we hear a lot about. What is this thing? I think a lot of people have heard about flow in the context of being in the zone and some other people also think it's focused, but actually there's a distinction between focus and flow. So flow just to give you a little bit of background was actually coined by a Hungarian psychologist called mihai. And he was investigating what are the underlying correlates or principles or processes for happiness. He's one of the forefathers of positive psychology. He was carrying on the work of young, who's another obviously very famous psychologist. And what he discovered was that notwithstanding the cultural differences of what I might consider to be happier what you might consider to be happy what seemed to be shared by people was this sort of intense enhanced peak performance state of mind, which he then coined flow. And it has a couple of properties that are shared by everybody. So sometimes people say, okay, I completely lost track of time. That seems much shorter than it was or that much longer than it was. And then there'd be like completely absorbed and engaged in that task. And normally, flow happens when there's a balance between your skills and the challenges that are posed to you. So for example, I'm not a marathon runner, but if you get me to run the marathon, I would most probably find that too difficult until I know that the skills, no flow. I'll just be like dying on the side of the road, right? And so that's when it kind of occurs. But then once you're in it, this sort of really interesting things that start happening. One of the things is the perception of time. It's intrinsically motivating. It's intrinsically rewarding. So people actually do feel happier when they're in these states of flow. There's a sense of achievement, and cognitively speaking, people increase their mental flexibility when they're in flow. So they're very interesting that one, yeah, because it helps you to change strategy, makes you mentally more resilient. It's the exact opposite of stress because in psychological terms that's considered what they call functional fixedness where you basically you fixate on one sort of aspect of something. You can't really see the wood for the trees, right? With flow, you're able to be a lot more flowy about it, right? And this is what I think leads to higher states of creativity, where you're able to have lots of different concepts that don't necessarily hold together normally in your head, but you are able to look at it and go, well, why not? What are these connections? Would I be associations? And on that note, and going back to the difference with focus is that you're able to look at the little details, but you're also able to broaden out your attention from the details to include the bigger picture. So this is amazing. Okay. So flow is a state where you are losing track of time. People often describe it as being fully absorbed in something. And with it comes this ability to be more creative. So I guess this is where the intersection between flow and creativity comes from. Yes. And so I was looking in my PhD. I was basically, first off, super interested in the idea of consciousness, and then everybody was like, great. Do you want to have career death as you start? I was like, wait, what does that mean? You don't become a neuro philosopher until the end. You know, when you can kind of philosophize about something. And I was like, but I'm still really interested in consciousness, but okay, what about consciousness am I interested in? And for me, because my background is also performer, I'm a musician and an actor and a storyteller essentially. I was just like, okay, clearly, I'm interested in creativity. And what I see, I think creativity is almost like a phenotype of consciousness. It's what you actually see what you can actually look at the processes of. It doesn't like it's an expression of. It's an expression of exactly the features of consciousness. And I think you're utilizing all of your brain. And all of your different aspects of what you are in order to be creative. I was drawing heavily on people who'd done more qualitative studies of the creative processes. Notably, a guy called Wallace, for example, who went and interviewed hundreds of eminent creatives and that doesn't just mean fine artists and musicians also means chemists, architects. And he was like, well, what's the commonality between all of your processes? And it's nice to think about it as problem solving. And creativity is problem solving, innovation. And so I kind of used those sort of frameworks and thought, okay, we're really helped me know where to look as far as EEG or physiology is concerned. And also we can't say things like computational creativity and then bringing in psychology models like flow. And so I find a signature brain pattern for when people were at performing at their peak creative, which is when they're in flow. That is to long winded answer your okay, so I have to know, what is this brain signature for? Creativity and flow. It's actually a complex one, right? And so flow by my definition or by texting me high's definition is a complex cognitive behavior. It goes beyond focus. It goes beyond relaxation. It seems to be in a sweet spot between the two places. And my hypothesis was that it wouldn't come from one particular part of the brain. It's not modular from that perspective. And I went into this idea of connectionist theories, which is the whole of the brain is required in order to create a higher cognitive behavior, such as that. So there are multiple regions of the brain involved, and there are different activation patterns that are involved when you look at it through time. And I looked at it, obviously, yeah, EEG musicians. And I think other people looked at it using MRI studies and they looked at rappers and lyricists and poets and similar areas are coming out similar activation patterns are coming out. And what it says to me is a really good news because it means that its domain in specific. It doesn't matter if you're talking or making music or whatever it is. So it's like, what is showing to me is that there's a common neuronal network. The same way you and I share the same memory systems, but you know, we access those memories differently. The memories are different. So I think flow means different things. To different people. So if you are a creative, flow means being really creative. For an athlete, it means higher performance. It can mean employee engagement well-being and other areas, right? Let's dig into that for a minute. And then we'll get back to what this common brain network is. So when you look at flow, you're quite correct in saying it is different things to different people. So when I think about when I'm most in flow, it's various points. One is between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m.. That's when I've always done my best work. And when nobody bothers you, you're not hungry, there's nothing to distract you. And so you're just in this zone and I've been extraordinarily creative and like ideas feel like they're coming out of nowhere and you just want to keep making. And I could be doing something boring. Computationally based boring stuff. Yeah. Or I could be doing something that's really engaged making clothing or making art. Creating new ideas or programs or protocols. And they all contain the same sensation of being simply me and the content and nothing else matters at that point. So it doesn't matter if it's boring work either.

Shama Rahman Shama Mihai Wallace
A highlight from How Do I Move On?

The Angry Therapist Podcast

03:27 min | 5 d ago

A highlight from How Do I Move On?

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. Before I get to today's question, which is, how do I move on? This is a common question. But I think an important one. And I'm going to go through the high level of how to move on, but also I really want to give practical tips, mindset, ways to move on. So before we get into that, I want to share a revelation. By the way, I think it's important that we reflect on our revelations. When I was in film school, I remember one of my screenwriting teachers wouldn't let us leave the classroom after the class was over until we shared a revelation. And I remember how annoyed I was at that and how lame I thought that was, but now as a therapist, I actually respect that I love that he made us reflect and think about what we learned. What was the insight, what was anything that we learned about, well, in that case, it was movies, but in this case, anything that you've learned about yourself about your definitions about love about the world, about relationships or anything, I think it's important to look at that and know that we are always having revelations. The days go by so fast, and if we don't take a break and stop, it's easy to just go through life, not being aware, not being able to connect dots, you know, not being able to experiment and learn more about yourself. So my most recent revelation was this weekend after running a weekend workshop based off me and Vanessa's book. It's not me, it's you. And you know, I've spent a lot of time by myself looking at screens, starting on tumblr, like 12 years ago before broadband before social media before when everyone was on AOL and webcams were things that you plugged in, right? Like those days, I spent, man, like 5 years just blogging and being alone with my thoughts. And then after that, once social media became a thing, spent. I mean, I guess 6 years. I mean, until today, all the way up until today, documenting my story. And so I've always kind of been behind the scenes, and of course writing books, right? So I haven't really besides zoom sessions with my clients, and I only have a handful, but I haven't really been in front of people running groups and working and trying to help in a very long time.

John Kim Vanessa Tumblr AOL
A highlight from 527: How To Handle Dread | Saleem Reshamwala

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:21 min | 5 d ago

A highlight from 527: How To Handle Dread | Saleem Reshamwala

"Hey gang, have you ever woken up in the morning and felt just a wave of dread sweeping up at you from your feet? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat? Or maybe your dread is not so existential you just have a mild dread about going to work on Monday morning or a looming dentist appointment. Today we're going to explore the entire beautiful dread spectrum with a journalist who has taken a very deep dive on this very common and very uncomfortable emotion. What is dread exactly? What evolutionary purpose does it serve, and most importantly, how do we deal with it? What are the antidotes? Selim, Russian Walla has worked for The New York Times, PBS, and also Ted, where he hosts a podcast called far flung. He is also the host of the more than a feeling podcast, which is produced by 10% happier. Selim and his team recently launched something called the dread project. It's an amazing title, and we actually shared the first episode of that series recently right here on this feed. It's a 5 day series that investigates dread each day of the challenge. We give you tools to tackle dread and different ways. We're going to tell you how to sign up for the challenge at the end of this episode and if you want to do it right now, there's info in the show notes. Meanwhile, in this conversation, we talk about a lot of dread management techniques, including journaling and drawing and welcoming your dread to the party inside of your head. We also talk about how to face dread when it comes to climate change and when it comes to the biggie death. I assure you, though, even though we're talking about deeply unappetizing subject, selene does it in a way that is extremely fun and interesting. So we will get started with the mighty Salim Russian Walla right after this. Before we dive into today's show, I wanted to let you know about a special offer. We've got for you from the good folks at the 10% happier app. There's a famous quote usually attributed to the teacher ram dass. Here it is. If you think you're enlightened, go home for Thanksgiving. I personally do not think I'm enlightened, but family gatherings around the holidays can certainly put everybody to the test. So why not give yourself a little extra support by leaning into your meditation practice or by getting a practice started for the first time?

Selim Walla PBS The New York Times TED Ram Dass
A highlight from Is honesty the best policy with friends/family?

Mindfulness For Beginners

05:11 min | Last week

A highlight from Is honesty the best policy with friends/family?

"When we see friends or family behaving in a way that we don't agree with, should we say something or should we stay silent? How you honest should we be? Welcome to mindfulness for beginners. Hello, my friend. I hope you're happy. I hope you're peaceful. It's your old pal, Sean. Huge thanks to John who became a new friend of the podcast. You can too by clicking on the link in the description and gain access to the first two parts of my plum village dairy, exclusive meditations, and songs. I'd also be hugely grateful if you could share the podcast with one other person. Who do you know that could use some calmness and their life? Brother fop on one of the monastics at plum village tells a story in a Dharma talk about when he was a fresh young monk and was planning a summer retreat. Another monk had refused to take on organizing one of the festivals, because his predecessor had not provided him with a handover. Brother Fabian begged them to, but he still refused. The young monastic was very upset. In a group meeting with techno Han or Thai, as we called him, later on, the monastics were providing support and friendship to each other in advance of the retreat. They were asked if there was any questions. Yes, I have a question. Stood up and asked. How can we organize a summer retreat when someone here refuses to take the responsibility of doing his work? And he continued to complain, tie, invited him to return to his seat and enjoy being silent. Later on, the young monk apologized to Thai, kind of. He said, I'm sorry, but I was only speaking the truth. Ty said what you spoke was not the truth. Truth is something that has the capacity to reconcile to give people hope to give people happiness, that is truth. When you speak and a cause is damage, even though it may be correct, it is not truth. So what should we do? When we feel we need to say something because things are not as they should be, it's important to differentiate between deep truth and what feels true. The second is very easy to define when we're angry when we're sad when we're stressed. We perceive the world in a particular way. We lose our perspective and view the world very narrowly, kind of like looking at a through keyhole, what we see, fields true, but the wider context is obscured. We see a particular form of our mental model of reality, not reality itself. And the difference between our mental model and reality is being the theme for this year. And if you're interested in learning more, then please check out some of the episodes from the first half of 2022. When we notice our impulse to call someone out, we need to scan and internally and notice the lens that we're viewing the world through, whether that's emotions, experience, culture, or knowledge, I would then invite you to try and see the deep truth of what's happening, the actual reality, and to do that, we need to look at it through the lens of inter being, the idea that everything is connected, the actions of the other person might seem unreasonable to us, but we can choose to see their suffering, the life they've had that has led them to this point. And we can also choose to accept the possible that we've completely misunderstood the situation. There's a great acronym for speaking with compassion called think. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary is it kind? If we can give ourselves just a few moments to check what we're going to say before we say it, we can make the world a kinder place, even when we do need to have a difficult conversation. And sometimes it is the best choice to share a gentle truth with someone if we believe it's kind and will help. We can use our loving kindness to wish that person well before we speak, may you be happy? Maybe peaceful, me see yourself through the eyes of understanding and compassion. But the last thought I'd leave you with is whether people really need to be told the truth, or whether you can plant the seed in other ways, whether through questions or the example of your practice, your piece. I come from a culture where everyone is always in each other's business and always has an opinion or judgment on how things ought to be. I find that most of the time for me common from that culture, it's better to choose to say nothing, best captured and the final question that a leafy with. Does it improve the silence? So now we're going to do a guided meditation and loving speech. I'm going to start with three signs of the bill and we'll have the usual settling

Plum Village Fabian Sean TY Monk John
A highlight from The Thanksgiving Episode (Putting Weight On The Why)

The Angry Therapist Podcast

03:12 min | Last week

A highlight from The Thanksgiving Episode (Putting Weight On The Why)

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. I don't want this step episode. I don't want this episode. I don't want this episode. You know what's weird is, as I get older, I'm learning to. Not speak well. It's weird. It's like, it's like my ability to speak is getting worse like my vision is, as I get older, it's crazy. And it's kind of scary. It's like I have a weird Lisp now. Maybe I just talk too much for a living, but I am constantly, it's like my mouth can't go as fast as what my brain has or wants to output. And so it just sounds like English is my second language. That's the excuse I use. When people don't know me that well. But anyway, I don't want to just spit three things I'm grateful for or a list of gratitudes because it's Thanksgiving and I want to give thanks. I actually want to talk about why I'm grateful for these things. And I think the value is going to be in the why. The value for you to hopefully shift a perspective or shed light on something or at the very least a reminder. So the first thing I'm grateful for actually, let me put a bookmark there, I just want to give a little bit of backstory. I grew up where Thanksgiving wasn't really a thing in our House, meaning my parents were old school Korean. And so chances are they were working. Yes, on Thanksgiving. Also Christmas. My mom had a little burger stand and then eventually we had a pie in your chicken. And if you don't know what that is, that used to be a chicken franchise, a fried chicken franchise in the 80s before they were absorbed by a Popeye's chicken. Which is where I spent a lot of Sundays when I was in high school. And I dreaded because in the Korean family, you work for your family. And because we had a Popeye's chicken, that means I had to go to the chicken shop in Long Beach on Sundays and thank God I was in Long Beach 'cause I was so embarrassed and I was so embarrassed to see Friends where people I knew and so I was just there in the office. I just had to be there to babysit if not people steal shit and all that. So anyway Thanksgiving for me growing up was going to my friend's house.

John Kim Long Beach
A highlight from 295: This Thanksgiving, How to Make Gratitude More Than a Platitude | DaRa Williams

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:36 min | Last week

A highlight from 295: This Thanksgiving, How to Make Gratitude More Than a Platitude | DaRa Williams

"Hey gang, Happy Thanksgiving. It is that time of year when at least nominally we're supposed to be giving thanks, being grateful. But as is the case with so many positive human qualities, we don't often get a lot of specific instruction about how to actually be grateful. To be a little cute about it, how do we elevate gratitude beyond mere platitude? That is what we're going to talk about today. Dura Williams, my guest is a meditation teacher and psychotherapist. She's a graduate of the spirit rock insight meditation society teacher training program and is also a guiding teacher at IMS. Not only has she been meditating for more than 25 years, she's also been a clinician and administrator in the field of mental health for roughly that same period of time. She currently maintains a private practice in Manhattan. In this conversation, we talk about how to start knitting gratitude into your everyday life or as she says how to think about gratitude like personal hygiene on the level of taking a shower. We talk about whether gratitude is possible when everything sucks. How to avoid spiritual bypass, which she will define. The opportunity that suffering brings for happiness and how to take our suffering less personally, the power of reminding yourself that you are nature are unconscious fascination with creating difficulty in our own lives. And her semi facetious belief that gratitude should be the 5th Brahma vihara. For the uninitiated, the Brahma viharas are four qualities of mind for mental skills, trainable via meditation, that include friendliness, compassion, sympathetic joy, which is being happy for other people's happiness and equanimity. Just to say before we dive in here, we first posted this interview back in October of 2020. Right after we ran a whole series of episodes about the Brahma viharas, that was also in the heart of the pandemic. So you're going to hear a few references to that. Okay, we'll get started with deron Williams right after this. Before we dive into today's show, I wanted to let you know about a special offer. We've got for you from the good folks at the 10% happier app. There's a famous quote usually attributed to the teacher ram dass. Here it is. If you think you're enlightened, go home for Thanksgiving. I personally do not think I'm enlightened, but family gatherings around the holidays can certainly put everybody to the test. So why not give yourself a little extra support by leaning into your meditation practice or by getting a practice started for

Dura Williams IMS Manhattan Deron Williams Ram Dass
A highlight from John and Vanessa's Fight Last Night

The Angry Therapist Podcast

04:07 min | Last week

A highlight from John and Vanessa's Fight Last Night

"Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you, I come unrehearsed on purpose because self help doesn't have to be so complicated. I just did a video and about changing your state. I give three tips and I actually want to ask Vanessa for hers. So mine, of course, you know, there's so many, but the three that resonated for me today, one was to lift heavy things because it changes it shoots chemicals in your brain. I felt that today. Vanessa Johnny. Two, I said, have lots of sex and I said that because I think that sex is something in our society where we tend to suppress or put on the back burner and if you don't have anyone to have sex with exploring your own sexuality that's with yourself is underrated. Sex with yourself is underrated. We charge your batteries. And I don't mean just have like sex as far as unhealthy sex or degrading or having sex for someone else. I mean, in a healthy way, I do believe that we are sexual beings as we are spiritual beings and there is a flow in an energy to your sexuality. If you consider it a practice, and so the release, the exploration, the leaning into and accepting you as a sexual being, I just don't think we practice that. Sliding is so nice. Look at your glasses, damn. They match my shirt. And then number three, go to therapy. Meaning having a place to process which then bring stuff up, which then gives you insight revelations about yourself, your story, you're able to connect dots and to understand yourself better. And I think that without that, I don't know how people can grow and evolve. So those are my three tips today. What are yours Vanessa? Three tips for what? Just to change your state. This was a topic because I woke up very unmotivated and I just wanted to sleep all day and I got myself out of that state. What would it be for you meditation? Yeah, I mean that would be nice to be able to find time to do that with a kid these days, right? I'm sure we all feel me. If you can find a moment. Wait, someone says 5 minutes. Therapy costs a lot of money and what if you can't afford it? If you can't afford therapy, I mean, I think there's a lot of different ways that you can approach therapy. It doesn't have to be the traditional one on one therapy. There's a lot of therapeutic groups out there that can be really beneficial. Also, it doesn't, it pretty much as a matter where you live, although I'm sure that some difficulty in the rural areas, so I don't want to totally misspeak. But there are a lot of actually decent clinics out there that will provide low fee and no fee therapy. And you'll be working with people who are coming through their therapy training. So you're not going to be working with the seasoned 20 year veteran. But we've all done it. We've all worked that way. So if you can't afford therapy, no fee and low fee is a 100% the way to go. It at least gets Italy's could get you going and get you familiar with the process. But a lot of, I think, one of the beautiful things with social media is that it's opened access to therapy and therapists in a way that you didn't have before. So some group stuff might be really beneficial. That would be a low cost. And also our friends are not a therapist, but if you have friends with capacity, if you have friends with capacity, knowing that they'll probably end up telling you how to live your life and I don't agree with that. I think you can process some things.

John Kim Vanessa Johnny Vanessa Italy
A highlight from 525: The Science of Motivation | Ayelet Fishbach

10% Happier with Dan Harris

01:56 min | Last week

A highlight from 525: The Science of Motivation | Ayelet Fishbach

"Hello, everybody. There are all sorts of ways to struggle with getting things done. Maybe you're a procrastinator. Maybe you're somebody who's energy flags in the middle of a project. Maybe you're too stubborn and don't know when to quit. Or maybe like me, you're somebody who sets too many goals and gets burned out. It makes everybody around you miserable. Whatever your situation, we all, I think, struggle with motivation. The good news is that there's a whole crew of scientists who study best practices for getting things done. My guest is one of the most eminent players in the field. Her name is ilet fishbach, PhD. She is the Jeffrey breckinridge Keller Professor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago booth school of business. She's also the author of get it done, surprising lessons from the science of motivation. I heard her name uttered so many times by our previous guests that I thought, let's go Booker. And I'm glad we did because we had a great conversation in which we talked about the crucial first step of setting goals how to pick the right goals for you. Whether it's more effective to have goals that are positive in other words where you're aiming to achieve something specific or negative where you're aiming to stop doing something, whether to do lists, work, whether incentives work, best practices for monitoring your progress, the importance of celebrating milestones, the importance of negative feedback, why the 10,000 steps per day goal makes motivational sense, she calls that strategy, put a number on it, even though the whole 10,000 steps thing has been proven to be scientifically arbitrary, and we talk about how to know when to let go of a goal. We'll get started with islet fishbach after this. Etsy has holiday gifts for everybody you love.

Jeffrey Breckinridge Keller University Of Chicago Booth Sc Booker Etsy
A highlight from Episode 89 - Nov. 29th, 2022 - Post-Thanksgiving

On The Rekord

07:28 min | 4 d ago

A highlight from Episode 89 - Nov. 29th, 2022 - Post-Thanksgiving

"Welcome you guys to another lovely episode of all the record podcast episode number 89, right? 80. 11 from 100. 11 from a hundred. It can't be. But we always keep it a hundred though. Yeah, you know, for better or worse. Or toxic. Indifferent. To me, what was up? I am good. So let me tell you guys what happened. Yesterday. It was stuff like that. Bro, at some point, I was coming back from work. I was getting food. And I had like, you know, coleslaw, but it was spicy. On top of land. You know, you know, pickles. It's like when you say it's like coleslaw. I know, you see a pickles. Yeah, so essentially coleslaw, but it's spice. Yeah, spicy coat. So I'm eating I'm eating. I think at some point, I've been into one of the peppers. Whoo. And my tongue was on Fuego. I can only imagine. And I was watching this video of Chelsea white making this point. Cursing up a storm. And I'm laughing as my tongue is on fire, and I try to cool it down by drinking by just JK Cole. I'm not even J to cold water. I'm just taking the cold water to spit it out. It's a cool by tongue. You have no milk? Man, I thought about that, but then I was just like, what I just ate and then I combined it with the best be up. You swish it around a little bit. I gotta send you the video, but bro, you just got a badge of it. My tug is all fire. I'm trying to cool it down. And it's got y'all said why is making a point and driving his point home as I'm laughing while my tongue is on fire. Was this when chaucer was coming after no, the point was the point that he was making tied into Kyrie and climbing where he was just like, this is the one group you can not talk about. He was saying, you could talk about. You could say whatever you want about any other groups and stuff like that. But you talk about this group? And even them, you could probably get away with talking more crap about them than you do the juice. For sure. Yeah. For sure. Even the CEO of Netflix to buy Dave. I'm not sure if he'd be sitting by David if he really zoned in on him. And I know he could. That might be a simple soap. Listen, if Dave could withstand that, or he's a girl for sure. He's always been standing in that. Listen man, I don't think there'll be a debate if he locks in on them the way he was locking on the alphabet community. Even though he locks it on everybody. They Chappelle gives you the smoke for everybody. No one's trying to say it's a semitic third that whole SNL. They tried it. And it failed. Miserably. Yeah. They've been trying to get Dave Chappelle for a long time. You know his writer is Jewish Neal Brennan, right? Like, you could try. You can't chat to subway that's walking away from 50 billion. You can't control someone like that. Facts. I keep telling you people. Understand and do your scouting report on who you try to come after. Well, you know. You always spoke with us already. You know? Anyways, moving on. I have said he said. Oh, man, what's up, guys? How you doing? You know. Doing all right. Happy belated Thanksgiving to everybody out there. You know? Happy birthday to Chadwick Boseman. Happy birthday Chadwick. First and foremost, I want to say that said he sent one of the bet by 8 points. The Giants had a little injuries here and there, but you know, I record with money back. All right. But I told you, listen, it was the last time that cowboys lost on their home court on Thanksgiving. We were on 5 for the past 5 years, but will you been? Wait, wait, he gets a giant. No, just in general, for Thanksgiving Day. They have lost the past 5 years. I would have took that book to do a lost. Based on the history of the recent history, I think. That it's hard to sweep your division opponent. I get that and it's holding 5 on this particular day. Yeah. So into it, something to it. I'm just saying officially one in 5. Just like how they had the stat line, the cowboys, out of all the games they played when the up by 14 points. The 195 and O that's some incredible stuff. And then they lost against Green Bay. So now that one 95 and one. They find a way. And indeed they would. If I know it, but man, how about the Vikings getting Apple turned over, bro? Well, they came back. They bounced back this week, so. Listen, and the cowboys had to any given Sunday. Had the apple pie and the ice cream on the side with them, bro it was not playing with them boys. That was a thorough dessert bro first of all, you stop the running game and then you made them, you know, isolated them. And that's what happens. Man, yep. So football is one of the games where you can't be one dimensional. No. Because if you become one dimensional, you're easy to pick, figure out, and then certain calls for you. It's like the UFC man. Yeah, you know, if all you could do is balance. Yeah, no, you gotta be balanced, for sure. Yeah, be balanced, especially in football. I'll be balanced. Oh yeah. So, with that being said, I'm good. Blessed. Yeah. Another year of me having smoked turkey again. I mean, it wasn't good as a first year, only from the standpoint. I couldn't really smell anything because of a stuffy ass nose. My main hair got the colds or the flu. I was chasing trying to smell and taste something. The closest I got was that cranberry sauce. Oh my God. I cranberry sauce, bro I don't know what it was, but it just made sense to put it on my plate and boy was it good? Yeah, the cranberry sauce busted boy was it good? I won't lie, we spent Thanksgiving together. So it was fun. It was good, good time. Watch two games of football. We watch a three, no, three. I think it was like three games. Three years of football. And one room and I was there just yelling my ass off. Oh yeah, that was funny. I'm talking. That was definitely fun to watch. If you guys don't know, I am very animated about my sports, especially when I see a lot of BS from the field. Or the court or any type of game because I'm like, coach. What is your eyes tell you? Forget the analytics. What does your eyes tell you? Never fails. You can imagine watching them games and Nick right beside you. Oh, dude, I would love to. Oh, man. Well, it's a number of sights. On that BS. Nick, can you clearly see the guys having an amazing game? You know? Sometimes that's a, you know? We gonna see it, we don't see at the end of this game. How was your Thanksgiving? I was with friends and family. Over there all chatty over there on the phone. Just spending time with people I get to see for a minute and I mean some men, some people that need to make a man's to it. And yeah. My man's, you know, we all had that turkey artist. Oh, rap. I was out cold. Thanksgiving. I had three houses to go to and then they were pissed.

Chelsea White Jk Cole Neal Brennan Cowboys Chadwick Boseman Dave Dave Chappelle Chappelle SNL Netflix Football Chadwick Giants David Green Bay Vikings UFC Apple Colds
A highlight from Episode 88 - Nov. 21st, 2022 - Cold News

On The Rekord

07:00 min | Last week

A highlight from Episode 88 - Nov. 21st, 2022 - Cold News

"Cowboys would win. So I'm just picking the times you picking the cowboys. Yep. Thank you. I saw you coming by the way. I get a text. Yes, indeed, DJ. You know? What? We're trusting. It's right behind you. Yes, you're left. So as you guys heard in the intro. Game on said he said. Game on. Game one. So they played today. That's a chance. Giants. We try to have a chance at healthy. Yes, don't worry about it, bro. I'm a giant fan. How did that happen? You got it, man. Don't worry about it. Anyways, welcome to you guys another lovely episode on the record podcast, man. It's been a very crazy week. Sorry we met you guys last week. Maintenance for all of us. Yeah. Literally made to this everybody in here. To the left, I have said he said what's on my boy? Damn, man. Yeah, I understand what he said because man, it was a rough week for me because what's the cold hit that Cole hit? Yeah, for real, man. I was real bad shape. Humble. I'm back though, man. So I'm good. Thankfully, had to take care of a few things. Elf wise and I'm here. I'm what's up, my boy? Long day. Lots of hard labor. You know? And then I had a drink that didn't go my way. She would like that. Oh my God. It should be right, man. You're young. All you had to do was take it out. That was it. Listen, I'm not, I'm irked that a fly was in my drink, and I didn't want to entertain to drink afterwards. So me. It's alcohol. It was alcohol, bro? No. I had the lime margarita in there too. But is it like, I call kill bacteria? Yes. You can just pick that up. I get it, they're attracted to the sugar, but bureau, bro a flash of what about this business of my dude. To the total. These are crying. He's crying? I was on a nice trip. I was on a nice trip. He was. It was short. It was cut, sure. I'm not gonna tolerate this level of sash and you guys laughing at my baby. Okay. This wasn't it. Oh my God, this is great. Well, buckwood, am I a joke to you? Bro, he's picked it out. You've been all right, man. That's it. I told you that. We all tell you everyone say the same thing you could have picked it out. You want to experiment. See, he wouldn't be pinkies up, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, pinkies up. Pinkies up, right? Yeah. Fancy. What was it so fancy? It was actually in a glass jar with a straw that may not really be fantastic. All right, so fancy. Total is fancy. Fancy. Yeah. Our condolences to the Jason, right? Or Jason Frank family, right? Jason, David Frank. Jason David Frank. If you guys know who he is, he is the man that played Tommy in the original Power Rangers. And to the entire firework just run. He was actually the green and white ranger and I think one point he was the red ranger too, right? And the gold ranger. So he's been part of that. He's been a part of the whole franchise for a very long time. Dude, man. He was Bloodshot in a better movie. I was fan made as a frilly dope ass movies on YouTube. Look it up. He was Bloodshot. He kicked ass blood shot, man. Bloodshot. So freaking Vin Diesel ruined that movie. Jason David Frank. Bloodshot that movie that with that whole like cyborg. That was a YouTube movie, made by violent comics. Being serious. And then I went to the screen. No, no. It was two separate movies. I was on YouTube with Jason David Frank as Bloodshot and it's one with Vin Diesel that crappy one. I want to talk about that because this angers me. It really does. Am I right? It's a piss out of me, for a movie, man. Because Vin Diesel is not meant to play Bloodshot. He's not. And I feel ready. Go ahead. I see you already. Go ahead. He look like the Grinch but you start talking. He was a source. Go ahead, mother luck. Yo, what you got to get spin, man. What's up about family? I want to hear about it from bitter. I don't want to hear it. Oh my goodness, gracious. So how you doing? Look at that. Look at that. I'm doing a pocket. I gotta keep my sober hand up. I'm pretty sure you want that. I take a little sip. Yeah. Oh, wow, word? In terms of the man. Nah, I wouldn't drink banana with podcasts. There ain't no damn trick champ this right here, man. Judgment much? Why are you judging? No, I'll judge. I'll judge your pick up. Pick these up. There's such a sprinkling of Vienna sausage. Listen, this event should be blush out with or without your approval, my God. Don't be smart. Okay. All right. How about that? You didn't like it, but still went through, man. You did flop, part of it, you did, man. You get over there? I'm very. You feel better now? It's starting to get it's time to heat up. It's not part of it you did. That fly your drink, man. Close to be loose. For that. Yeah, and the cancer, Kevin Conroy. No, no. Well, for Jason, David Frank. It was suicide, right? Be able to suicide 49 years old, man. Oh my gosh. I'm not sure it's something to do with the fact that he was recently divorced with his wife. Look, man. Mental health strange things. But I'm trying to figure out how they figured that was it, dude. I can be like everybody else wants to put Courtney's dish saying that suicide as a selfish act or a suicide that the answer bob, reality sense. But not in that person's mind. We all know support on what they're dealing with, the drama, you know,

Jason David Frank Vin Diesel David Frank Buckwood Cowboys Jason Youtube Giants Cole Power Rangers Tommy Vienna Kevin Conroy Cancer Courtney BOB
What Does Real Friendship Look Like? How to Create & Strengthen Friendships - burst 1

Lesley's Lessons Podcast

08:36 min | 6 months ago

What Does Real Friendship Look Like? How to Create & Strengthen Friendships - burst 1

"Lessons. So today I wanted to talk about what real friendship looks like. And I find that we can think about what real love looks like, we can tell someone, no, that's not what real love is about. Real love is this real love walks talks, acts like this. But what does real friendship look like? You know, is it coming from a place where you need them to nurse certain things inside of you that hasn't been healed? Things that you know you need to work on, but they're so good at it that they almost enable you to give you a pass so you don't have to work on those issues because they give it to you freely. They have it in abundance. Like if they're just super confident and you lack confidence, you don't have to work on it because they have enough for you. So the relationship works because you have something that you can get from them. What does friendship really look like? Thinking back, I had a few fallouts and in my case, it wasn't so much like there was any argument or anything. They just dropped off and I had to have a true moment with myself, like listen, don't worry about what it sounds like, talk straight. And I would compare it, you know, to a wise counsel and then they'll be like, yo, the common thread is, look at what they're doing and what you're doing and look at what they're not doing, and I didn't want to get into that and, you know, trip off of, you know, my ambitions versus anyone else, I just know I showed up as who I was and it just didn't work out. And I had to understand that there are different scenarios why things don't work out. Sometimes it is you sometimes it's not you sometimes someone knows they can't bring anything else to the table or at that place or they don't want to. Sometimes they're annoyed at your evolution. They're not interested or it's intimidating by where are you going? Last week you were into, you know, drinking till you pass out. Now this week, you're meditating. And just one glass of wine, or what have you, and friendship is something that we just kind of accept, but we don't really filter out. And when we do it's either too late or we just, we just don't do it in time, sometimes. And I just want to know what does it look like for you? Is it someone who's always there, someone who always attends your events? Does that mean they're a friend? Someone who listens to you problems, you get to crown their shoulder, you pick up every phone call. Does that make you a friend? Because there are a lot of things that it can serve both of you very well. You can get an ego boost. It can make you feel better, knowing that you are dependent upon to be there for someone for them to cry on your shoulders, but are you happy? Are you satisfied in the friendship? And I think a lot of times people want to figure things out without expressing themselves. And I don't understand how that can ever work without someone knowing how you feel, so to me, a friend, you know, understands the dynamics and understands what the friend can handle when how much they can handle it and sometimes there's some things you just have to work out on your own or wait till it's the appropriate time to talk if you don't have regard for that then maybe you're really not a friend, maybe you're more concerned with hearing yourself speak but a friendship it goes both ways. A real friendship is not textbook. It's not like a hallmark movie sometimes you need space, sometimes it's almost like a platonic marriage, you know? I'm not going to say that because it's going to start an argument. I'm going to bite my tongue because I know how this is going to end up. But you give each other grace. That's a real friendship. You give each other grace and it's not about just waiting to one day, okay, three strikes, and then I'm going to blow up and throw everything in their face. Then you're not a friend. Because you have an opportunity as they do to express yourself. Why are you waiting until you've reached the boiling point to now all of the sudden bring up everything that annoyed you. So you were just waiting on that moment. So have reasonable expectations for each other and talk about it from time to time. Or, you know, it really doesn't have to be a thing. It really doesn't have to be something that takes away from having a good laugh and enjoying each other's company. Read the room. Read the temperature. No when to say something when not to say something. What is your motivation for expressing what you feel right now? Is it going to hurt the person? Is it going to help make the situation better? Are you going to be a cheerleader or are you going to sit on the side and just be a critic? You know, is it something that they need to stop right now what they're doing just to hear you speak? Or can it wait? Grace. Friendship to me is grace. Grace for the imperfections, grace for, I'm going to maybe hurt your feelings one day and I didn't mean to do it. Grace is about forgiving, I'm sorry I didn't show up in the way that you needed me to show up. But nothing has changed about how I feel about you. Grace is about I was wrong. I just wanted my own way. I just, I don't know what took over me. That's being a little stubborn. We're missing grace. It's antibiotic expectations and being a perfect person. Or being a mind reader and knowing what this person is thinking all the time. It's about saying, you know, this is all I got. I did my best. Or you know what? I don't feel my best right now, and I need you to understand that. Being a good friend is not about doing everything right. It's just about doing your best. Being yourself, loving and embracing someone the way you would want them to do for you. Giving them space when they need it. Allowing people to come to their own conclusion without trying to control the narrative for your advantage and for their disadvantage. Friends, if you are lucky to have someone see you as a friend as you see them, are worth treasuring their worth, appreciating.

Grace
The breakup is not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person.   -

Lesley's Lessons Podcast

07:27 min | 9 months ago

The breakup is not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person. -

"And just mental capacity when things don't work out. And let's face it, no one wants to prepare for a relationship to be doomed. It's just, that's what happens. Some part of our lives on our journey. And what do you do? Recently, I recorded an audiobook. How to turn a breakup into a breakthrough, and move on like a boss. And it's really a mental thing. You don't have to be a boss and a company or anything like that, but the attributes of a boss. Being in control, taking charge, going after what you want, getting to business, project management, you can take attributes of a boss and apply it to your emotional side. Because we don't want to stay in that space, right? It's not good there. If you stay too long at that space, all you're going to do is get depressed. If you look in the future based on that space, all you're going to do is feel anxious and we don't want you to feel anxious, we want you to be in the present and be your best. And I wanted to speak to people who often get overlooked. I find that sometimes we keep it a little a little bit more surface a little bit more general when it comes to talking about dealing with a breakup. Not everyone has handled it in a model way, you know, not everyone becomes friends, not everyone is able to just get up out of bed, brush their teeth, start their day without feeling like they're dying inside. Not everyone understands no is no. And you have to stop contacting me, stop acting like we're still together. And I wanted to bring that together in a safe space for people who are in different areas of the spectrum of accepting a breakup. Understand the triggers of what caused the breakup, the duels and don'ts of what you don't want to do that's only going to make things worse for yourself and what you can do to heal and move on. Granted, you might be the person who might still have a chance with someone. But I didn't want to focus on that. That's your journey to decide. This is about someone who it is clearly over and you are struggling to get a hold of it. You might look put together on the outside is still doing the same things, still getting your coffee, tea, going to the gym, getting your hair done. You still doing the routine on the outside, while on the inside, you're dying inside, and we don't want that. You have the capacity to heal. You have the ability to thrive in life and to move on. And what do we often do? Let's see who we can get involved in our life to kind of distract us, try that. Let's DM someone. Let's flirt with someone and see what happens. Try that. And everything that you've tried has not worked, and you find yourself going around in circles and more frustrated as time goes by. And I just wanted to, in my own life, I've dealt with people who haven't accepted a breakup. And I know how that felt on my end. Was I not direct enough? Why is this happening? Why are you so why are you still there, why are people stalking people? Why are people abusing people shaming people airing dirty laundry or trying to get them jealous? Like, why are you doing these things trying to embarrass them? Why are you doing these things when the breakup is really not personal? It's not a personal attack. It's what's best for that person. So either if you're the person that's struggling to accept the breakup, you're hurting, you want desperately that person back. You want that person back or you just don't know what to do. There's something for you in this book. And there's something for you. There's jewels of advice for you in this book. And my goal wasn't to make someone feel ashamed of how they feel, but to feel comfortable knowing that you know what? I've been trying to deal with this on my own, but I don't have to tools. I don't know what to do. I'm going to my usual moves in my own mental survival kit, but it's not working. I need new energy. I need a new way of thinking. How to do this in my life. And it can be tough when you feel like just abruptly something drastic happens in your life. And you don't know what to do. It's uncomfortable. The pattern was unexpected, even if you had an idea, you didn't think it was going to happen right now. So I just want to encourage you that it's not too late, and it's not too late for you, but we have to get you to focus on you right now. It's time to check out of the usual routine the things that you're doing and let's get to work. Because life still needs you. And it's about being motivated to live life. And this is just a small step in your life and there's so much more to come and I want that for you. So if you are dealing with a breakup or could have been a year ago, it could have been ten years, 20 years ago, isn't it time to get back to you? Isn't it time to laugh again? Get those laughs back. Get whatever you feel like you lost from that relationship back in your life. Get some your smile dance again, you know? So I hope this is able to help you. If you are looking for something to listen to, I encourage you to check it out. I just thought about how grew some it can feel sometimes. How you can feel isolated with your pain. And I didn't want that feel. I wanted to write a book to help people no longer feel isolated with their pain, but to feel inspired to come out of their shell and heal and move forward in their life. There's one thing to tell someone you got this, go for it, you'll be okay, but I wanted to take it a step further and help put steps in place to help you know how to do that. Be your own hero, you have the capacity to save yourself. You just have to look and see that you are wearing a life

Mindfulness Self Care Motivational Spirituality Inspirational Personal Development DON
Breakdown of Meaning and the Courage to Despair: Insights of Paul Tillich [SSL 205] - burst 2

Spark My Muse

01:00 min | 1 year ago

Breakdown of Meaning and the Courage to Despair: Insights of Paul Tillich [SSL 205] - burst 2

"Existentialism as it appeared in the twentieth century represents the most vivid and threatening meaning of existential in it the whole development comes to a point beyond which cannot go it has become a reality in all the countries of the western world it is expressed in all the realms of humans spiritual creativity it penetrates all educated classes. It is not the invention of a bohemian philosopher or of a neurotic novelist. It is not a exaggeration made for the sake of profit and fame. It is not a morbid play with negativities elements of all these have entered it but it itself is something else it is the expression of the anxiety of meaninglessness and of the attempt to take this anxiety into the courage to be as once-off

Tillich Russia Lisa United States Government CIA
Finding The Pieces of Yourself That You've Lost

Real Ass Affirmations

02:34 min | 1 year ago

Finding The Pieces of Yourself That You've Lost

"Is easier to go. Sleep is easier to procrastinate. Is easier to stop doing something. Because you're not feeling it right now but the things that we do on a daily basis provide us with the goals and the achievements that we want and it's just really hard sometimes to see your way clear through that forest through that foggy day to say i got to get me back like this was really happening right now right. You're in a situation where you feel like you've lost your self and the only person that can get you back. Is you so all the excuses that you've told yourself all the naps that you've taken all of the phone calls and emails that you didn't respond to all of the times that she said you were going to go somewhere and you were going to do something in the you just like faggot. I'm not doing it. All of that is because you lost a piece of you and you need to find that piece of peace which allows you to be as great as you possibly can now what you have to do in order to find that it's going to be different for each individual partisan but i'm a big for that you already know what's missing you already know what would make you happy. You already know what's not bringing you joy right now so when you evaluate this and you take inventory of who you are who you were and who you want to be. They may not be the same person. Oh shit somebody's just realizing this about themselves on Yeah issue you know who you. Were you know that there were certain things that brought you joy in that made you happy. And they're not doing it for you anymore and there are other things that you may be didn't even think about right and now that thing is making you happy and it is breaking you a piece of peace. So who do you need to find. You need to find you because some where along the line you lost the most important person to you which is yourself

You Get To Make This Up!

On The Verge

02:22 min | 1 year ago

You Get To Make This Up!

"You get to make this up. I thought about that this morning. When i was sitting with my journal and all of a sudden i wrote morning messages. Go back to morning messages. And i thought to myself as my as my doubting mind came in all. But you've tried that and you've gotten tired or you've got lost things to say or you weren't sure if it was working or not and then i wrote down in the next moment you get to make this up and not only do i get to make it up and try again. Get back on the horse. Do these morning messages again. But you get to make up your life as well you know at the end of the day. No one's really watching. No one's keeping score. No one's keeping count that you stopped and started something that you tried several times and maybe felt like you failed. No one is really watching so you get to make it up. Think about the things that are moving through that creative energy that creative impulse. What is it that is nagging at you in those early hours of the morning to pick your paintbrush backup to to try something new in how you move your body to let go of something. That's not working. We get to make this up and as we all know now after a year and a half of incredible uncertainty in the world. Nothing is forever we can change on a dime as we all had to change during the pandemic. We all became so nimble so flexible. Even if we didn't want to we did it anyway. Well how about if you want to help out if you want to change you wanna make it up. If there's anything that i can share in these morning messages. And i hope it comes through loud and clear is that we get to change. We get to change our story. We get to let go of what doesn't work anymore. We get to embrace who we are becoming and so if that means doing something that you've tried ten times before but you have a new impulse to do it just like i do with these morning messages. Then go for

Why Creativity Equals Productivity With Author Joe Sanok

Mindfulness Mode

01:18 min | 1 year ago

Why Creativity Equals Productivity With Author Joe Sanok

"You have got so much to say about creativity and productivity. Why is it that creativity causes us to be more productive. What's that all about. Yeah i think intuitive we know this and a lot of the science backs it up as well but just think about when you have your best ideas you know when you're stressed out or maxed out. It's when you're taking a shower when you're out for a hike when you're on a long drive and maybe turn off the radio for a while It's when our brains are able to rest when we're not really in that fight flight or freeze and so we know that if we're going to be more creative it doesn't start with having a week. That's maxed out and stressed out and then we have a weekend where we're just recovering that we go right back into it. It's where we start with the slowing down when we start with that that mindfulness and we allow our brains to relax. I and ask those hard questions of. What is this weekend. need From me and from my brain. How do i best myself for this next week. the idea that we work five full days and then for two days we take off. It just doesn't work anymore. And as we look at the research on the forty workweek and about making thursday the new friday we see emerging more and more that countries and businesses that are switching to a four day of work three days off are seeing better productivity and creativity.

Why We Need More Humanness on the Internet

Mindful Productivity Podcast

01:25 min | 1 year ago

Why We Need More Humanness on the Internet

"We just need more humanness on the internet. I think we think we have it. But i don't think we're there yet I don't think we're there yet. I know this. Because as soon as i like. Put a camera in front of my face or start talking on instagram stories. Or even go live. It's like i'm a nuanced version of myself. I'm still me. I'm still real. I'm still authentic. But i'm trying to be authentic. Does that make sense. So it's like. I'm almost not even thinking about how i'm talking now versus how i talk to my podcast right like i. I'm trying to convey something. So because of that i'm trying. I'm just a different version of myself. It's not it's not this like raw version of my of myself. I think that's we missed that online. And i think it's because like there's all these ways that we mask rate there's like professionalism and all these things and they make sense. I'm not saying we do away with those. But i just think that there's there's some kind of veil that if we could take it down online and really see more of ourselves. I think that's what tick talks doing right now. Honestly a lot of these talking head videos people are just having conversations about how they feel or literally breaking down into tears talking about their experiences and people are actually relating to other

Why We Need To Live Deliberately in the Present Moment

Mindfulness Mode

02:06 min | 1 year ago

Why We Need To Live Deliberately in the Present Moment

"Here today with murray history murray. Are you in mindfulness mode today. I certainly hope so. Well tell us murder. What does mindfulness mean to you. What does mindfulness mean in your world question and for me. Mindfulness is about. Are we living deliberately. Are we living awake to the moment or are we kind of in default mode in some automated program preprogramed robotic kind of existence. And i think we can all relate to that certainly some past point in our lives. We're just going through the motions and really for me. It's about how present. Can i be because we talk about presence in mindfulness quite often right. I mean it's the present moment right. It's a lot of practices of meditation techniques to connect with the present moment and. I'm sure everyone that's listening. Has heard the term present moment and connecting with the present moment and maybe has some techniques for that. Why are we interested in the present moment right if we take a step back and say what does the present moment offer that is tantalizing or should be of interest. Why not live in the past. Why not live in the future. They could be one of places of the imagination right. Well it turns out the present moment. Right for me is really intimacies domain. If we want to have an intimate relationship with life in all the relational aspects of life which is the people places and things that are around us. We want to have an intimacy with that then. We must be aware of it right now. Not in the past and not in the future because the person's right in front of us and expecting some interaction not in the past another future but right now and what's the benefit of intimacy will the benefit of intimacy is more love more sharing ke- and we're relation. Of course that creates. I think what we all want. Right ultimately

Murray
Finding Beauty in the Mundane

The Angry Therapist Podcast

01:32 min | 1 year ago

Finding Beauty in the Mundane

"Beautiful. Things things that i find beauty in i i wanted to say that The point of this is is to remind you guys that To train your brain to seek What i call nectar to seek beauty and things in the mundane. I think that when you can do that Then you're doing less of this whole you know chasing things that you don't have i think when we have the ability and i think it is an ability In like any ability it requires a practice to find value and beauty and things that are in front of us Then we can create happy more so than Always chasing things that you know that we're we've been dreaming of or things that are you know shiny and big and all of that and this is just a reminder that there are things in front of us that are just as beautiful just as meaningful we just have to train our brain to seek them right to notice them to find them to stretch them to appreciate them. Okay things i find beauty in edges. I find beauty in the the. It doesn't matter if it's art film books. Whatever i find beauty in In risk in the obtuse in you know Things that may not be appropriate anything that moves you and usually what moves you are found on the edges not not so much in the middle where their

Having Internal Freedom Is Everything

The Angry Therapist Podcast

02:44 min | 1 year ago

Having Internal Freedom Is Everything

"I want to talk about freedom predictable. I know but not in a patriotic sense Although i do think that's extremely important. As an american i value it. But says i'm also a therapist. I want to talk about freedom in an internal freedom sense I think internal freedom having a sense of freedom internally is one of the greatest roads to happy. It's actually not even a road. it's a highway. It's like the car pooling. I don't think you could really be happy or live a meaningful life without a sense of freedom. So let's talk about that. Well there are different areas of your life And when i'm coaching people always it always comes down to these two main areas right relationships and work like that takes up the most of your life pie and so first. Let's talk about What internal freedom looks like kind of on the surface right your day to day the parts of your life and then let's talk about How to accomplish or get to a place where you feel a sense of internal freedom through more of a spiritual angle more of a an abstract broad overall general Wellbeing if that makes any sense angle okay so first freedom in work now. I personally personally have so much experience because i've i have experienced work in career where i had no freedom and i got to say i i. It was miserable. And i felt like i was drowning every day. And you know that feeling from not having freedom it went in depends on what freedom looks like for you so for some people of not having freedom looks like long hours and no vacation for some people not having freedom. Looks like not being able to be creative for some people not having freedom means punching a clock or sitting behind the desk. I don't know what not having freedom looks like you for me. The most important thing is is is being able to swim in that. What anybody that is being able to Because i'm such a right brain person. If i'm not able to express myself creatively. I just i just start wilting. I i'm seeing the plant at the at the end of the movie. E t where whereas as e t is dying. The plant is wilting. And dying in front of your eyes. That is me. That plant is me at work without any creative

Enjoying Life Through Our Inevitable Mortality With Journalist Suleika Jaouad

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:45 min | 1 year ago

Enjoying Life Through Our Inevitable Mortality With Journalist Suleika Jaouad

"We are as the buddhist master pama trojan has said. We are all programmed for denial. There's something about the human condition that doesn't quite let us take in our mortality. I- often compare it to like trying to get one of my cats to look in the mirror. You just do it. You know or trying to put two magnets together. They won't quite touch. And i don't you know i don't quite know why it is and there are lots of practices in buddhism and the catholic tradition memento mori. Were you carry around like a stone in your pocket and touch it to remind yourself you're going to die and so one can get better at this but it requires a lot of work. Have you now that you are out of that situation. We should talk about how that situation resolved your health your health trails but do you find yourself forgetting once in a while that Before death it's all life. Yeah i forget. All the time i have moments like this morning where i knew we were gonna have this conversation and having a bad hair day and i rushed took a shower and then i felt totally ridiculous because a couple years ago i had no hair and so to be worried about a bad hair day. Especially on a podcast. Is you know a level of absurdity. That i'm fully aware of but i also think that there's there's good reason for why we we can't have that heightened awareness of our mortality if we were all live every day as if it were last we'd go bankrupt and probably make terrible decisions in the world but likely implode and so. I've come to delight in those moments of forgetfulness Because they feel like a real marker of of progress in and healing from me the flip side of that is that you know when i wake up in the morning all often remind myself of when i was at my sickest and might energy was so limited that i could do about three things every day. I could answer an email. I could watch a movie. I could see a friend. But i really had only enough energy to do three things three simple things and now when i go into my day i use as a kind of song exercise for myself of if i could only do three things today. What are the things that would feel most important most rewarding most

Pama Trojan
How Practicing Mindfulness Can Make Your Runs Easier and More Enjoyable

Another Mother Runner

02:42 min | 1 year ago

How Practicing Mindfulness Can Make Your Runs Easier and More Enjoyable

"Mindfulness helped you with with your your training like how so like like we're just like getting into like what your body's feelings you don't ever do it or does that. Mindfulness like help you with the pain. Like how did those two probably jumping way ahead of the script here but yes yes yes. ns right. So let's backtrack and just talk about what. Mindfulness is so. Mindfulness is about being fully present without judgment in the present moment. So that's sort of taking it to it's very very basic so most of us are thoughts or are on a continuum. We're either thinking about yesterday or thinking about tomorrow or thinking about at wanna do this or or with me like this is hurting. I'm bored or i'm terrible. Everybody so much better than me or whatever it is that goes through a mind. What either when you're exercising or just doing anything in life and that creates a lot of stress in a lot of tension the body but it also means you're not paying attention to the body which is really this brilliant vessel that is communicating with your brain constant lane. Letting you know when you're native something when you're a position as good or or or or beneficial when things are moving smoothly and were not but because we're so busy doing and looking outside of ourselves we don't actually pay attention to what the body's trying to tell us so the the process of being mindful which is non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. So that's like you know if you're outside and you're looking at the balloon out of the sky and then you hear that a bird singing it song and then you notice your feet on how they feel on the ground and you're just in this moment to moment awareness without judgment just simply observing witnessing if you will. So that's a meditation practice. That is a incredibly wonderful experience for anyone to do with any any time but you bring it into movement and now you've got the ability to pay attention to this brilliant body that's leading you know if and when you're in pain because you've just pushing yourself hard or you're in pain because that's actually a movement that's going to be hurting you later. So or you're noticing your breath you're noticing. How your feet or hitting the ground. Creating a rhythm and a meditation as opposed to thinking about you know a win is gonna end. And when i'm gonna get to that mile right so it's rather than focusing on on a goal on the end game. You're in the present moment so that allows you actually to go faster to go longer to enjoy it more in also be more present so that you don't get injured

Being Authentic and Present With Yourself

Tara Brach

02:32 min | 1 year ago

Being Authentic and Present With Yourself

"Authentic in such doorway and such a practice you know it is kind of the the emotional real emotional version of of practice of seeing things as they are in honoring man and owning that and it only for me leads to more more solid foundation and more and more transparency one of the one of the images that i think is so powerful for me with with the pandemic is that you know the jewish tradition the word sabbath literally means the one day. We don't turn one thing into another. And i feel like we've been forced into a global sabah and can't manipulate. We can't even dream too far ahead. And so we've been forced our turn to see the miracle in the ordinary to see the beauty in everything and everyone and and And i think you know said if we truly thomas merton new we truly be held each other. We fall down in worship each other and so here. We are forced to to say no. The dream isn't tomorrow. We can't defer life or our best selves or ourselves. It's all right here and that was one other like a powerful thing for me with the pandemic is or did i came upon us. I was very. I had a lot of echoes from my cancer journey An particularly this moment. When i was diagnosed i like anyone else. I went to this appointment with a doctor. Who told me i had cancer and i was alarmed frightened in thought. You must have the wrong folder. Can't be me. And but then when i left that office that day the door i had come through for out. Appointment was gone. No way back to life before that appointment and i also feel that humanity has been forced through that doorway with the pandemic. The old world is gone There's going back

Thomas Merton Cancer
Finding The True Honesty Within Ourselves With Author Stephenie Zamora

Mindfulness Mode

01:23 min | 1 year ago

Finding The True Honesty Within Ourselves With Author Stephenie Zamora

"Let's talk about truth. Let's talk about honesty. How do we find find are real honesty which is hidden. Sometimes deep within us definitely can be it takes really knowing yourself and who you are and being tuned into whenever you want to call it. So i refer to it as intuition it can be internet link. Be that gut feeling or just that deepest part of you. That really knows your truth and who. You're here to be an building a relationship to yourself so that you're able to discern between will. Everyone thinks i should go this way. And this seems really great on paper. But where do i really feel in my body and my heart and my soul and so having the ability to discern for yourself what's right and true for you and nobody else can do that and when other people try. That's where things kind of get messy because they're doing so they're trying to support us and guide us from a place of love. But they're not us and they're not in our life and they can't make these decisions for us and so i'm a really big advocates for having that relationship to your body because that's where intuition inner wisdom really lives and that requires quite a bit of presence and mindfulness able to feel that little like Netanyahu body says no or like. Oh yeah i feel myself saying yes to this. Even though it seems crazy and ridiculous on

Netanyahu
Embracing the Exhaustion of Life

The Shamans Cave

02:44 min | 1 year ago

Embracing the Exhaustion of Life

"Am i showing up of service. When so much of the conflict in the world is exhausting. Me because i i'm a libra. I like my scales balanced. And i thought we know we got through some times. And we'd be more imbalance and we're still not. Yeah well. I actually think you you said the key of of we really need to be looking at in. The show is exhaustion. People are exhausted. They're worn down and If you've been watching the shamans cave over the year years rene and i have done multiple shows on the power of Dismemberment as sonic initiation of where The ego and the body becomes so warm down in initiation you know in in Old sh- monocultures having to walk over glass or Fire walking or Having nail nails put in you or being buried for three days or having aunts In covered with honey and then red ants being put on you for three days and these were some of the milder. She hastens It was to wear you down until there was nothing left. But your spirit. Nothing left by your spirit and it was. It's the spirit that has the strength to get through and so what's happening. right now. Is people are exhausted and this is so positive. I know it doesn't feel good. I i understand the level of exhaustion that people are dealing with them. Hearing from many of you around did. And i am in the same sense. Same place. I do very little not because i'm afraid to go out but because i need an amazing amount of Just staring Time just to regenerate bit and so It's just really important to understand that the wearing down is one of the most important parts of the process before some healing can can

Rene
Meditation Teacher La Sarmiento Defines "Radical Kindness"

10% Happier with Dan Harris

01:37 min | 1 year ago

Meditation Teacher La Sarmiento Defines "Radical Kindness"

"Law sarmiento. Welcome to the show. Thank you dan. great to be here. Thanks for having me. I told you this before we started rolling. But you have a really good voice great meditation voice then practising for awhile. Yes so in preparing for this. You've done a lot of chatting with members of the ten percent happier team. This is the first time that you and i are meeting. But i got all these prep documents at some notes from my team and one of the things that i know. You've been thinking a lot about is the difference between straight up kindness garden-variety kindness and radical kindness. What is the difference can you. Can you unpack that a little bit for me. Yeah thanks dan. Yeah to me kinds. I feel like we all have that capability in us naturally especially when we're in a good space and we have the capacity for that whether it be holding a door open giving directions to a tourist things like that just kind gestures to me. Radical kindness takes it kind of a step further. It asks something of ourselves. It could be something that's inconvenient. If my sister called and said i need you to come over right now but i'm in the middle of building lego or something that i'm really enjoying but knowing that my sister needs me. It's like okay. i can do that. I'll make time and so it really is not something that's necessarily easy to do. And i think that's what makes it radical asks a little bit more kind of going beyond the call of duty in a way but it doesn't feel like an obligation because to me that's different than the generosity of

Law Sarmiento DAN
The Relationship Between Rage and Trauma

Mindfulness Mode

02:38 min | 1 year ago

The Relationship Between Rage and Trauma

"The word rage never really came to mind. When i thought about my reaction to certain situations but now that i've learned more about the conscious and subconscious mind and how our minds work. I realize well. There is sometimes a level of rage that was gurgling or bubbling just below the surface certain personalities are specific words or phrases would potentially cause that gurgling rage to erupt. Sometimes the eruption was minor. And nobody else would even be aware of it. Sometimes i would do or say something that well it was just out of place and i kind of wonder myself. I think why did that happen. Why did i say that thing. Or why did i do such and such and in response to that now. I realized that what triggered was something related to probably to an early trauma in my life. So when i say trauma i want to be clear that an event that was traumatizing to me may seem like a nothing of to you. I used to think that all traumas where events like you know a car accident house fire sexual abuse. A- robbery well a quick online search tells us that in general trauma can be defined as a psychological emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing. So you know your definition of deeply distressing may be different from mine. Of course another definition says that trauma is the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event. There's were distressing again goes on to say experiencing a traumatic event can harm person sense of safety sense of self and ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships long after the traumatic event occurs. People with trauma can often feel shame helplessness powerlessness and intense fear. You may have experienced trauma and don't even realize it for some while trauma could be just a very simple. You know what appears to be something. That is very simple for some. It could be much more

Trauma
How Your Beliefs Can Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies With Prof. Jamil Zaki

10% Happier with Dan Harris

02:45 min | 1 year ago

How Your Beliefs Can Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies With Prof. Jamil Zaki

"Research for the last couple of years has been focused on self-fulfilling prophecies. That is in particular what we believe about ourselves and each other can change how we act towards ourselves and towards other people and that can then change the experiences we have which then go into our beliefs at an if you can see the cycle here but in essence what happens. Is that the way that we believe the world to be can sometimes come true in my lab. We've studied a bunch of examples of where that goes wrong cynical and mistrusting beliefs corrosive beliefs. That can hurt us and the people around us. But i think whenever you study the dark side or something. The light side is right there underneath it. Okay so it would make sense than for me to believe that. Most people are basically good and to trust people. Is that what you're saying and couldn't there be a dark side to that where some people are. Don't have good intentions. And i could get burke of course and blind trust totally uninformed optimism that has no basis in any evidence can be really dangerous thing whenever we trust. We take a risk. But i think that increasingly our culture suffers from the opposite problem. Which is blind cynicism that without knowing anything about a person. I assume the worst about them. So for instance in nineteen seventy two forty. Five percent of americans agreed with the statement. Most people can be trusted by two thousand eighteen that had fallen to about thirty percent likewise at the same time. We've lost much faith in institutions in news media in governmental organizations but most of all in each other social trust has really eroded and i think what that means is that we're making many of us making decisions about people and about the social world absent and the evidence where we're not trusting entrusting and getting burned a really obvious problem right. I mean that's why we don't do it. We don't hand off our kids to people we don't know we don't loan tons of money to people we've never met because we don't want to get burned but blindly mistrusting. People can also cause us to lose lots of opportunities for instance opportunities to learn from them opportunities to connect and to build relationships. And i think that risk is that we don't see as much but is just as

Burke
How To Develop a Productive Mindset

The Angry Therapist Podcast

02:19 min | 1 year ago

How To Develop a Productive Mindset

"Productivity. The first thing is i want wanna talk about the mindset and the first thing is because i always begin everything usually with mindset i think It's something we don't think about because we're always action-oriented and especially in this case where productivity equals action or to most people. I want to challenge you to not think of it that way. So starting with your mindset. Throw away the checklist or at least Put it in your back pocket. Keep it in your notes on your phone. But don't have your checklist be The days roadmap. You know. I think so. Many of us are so focused on the scoreboard. What can we get done And the thing is we put so much pressure on ourselves that even if you wrote an entire book in one day you're still going to be like what else could i do. Did i do enough. you know. and so. Throw the checklist away because Your chance that you just gonna white knuckle through your your your daily tasks and There isn't going to be joy there's going to be balanced and instead of living and being present and enjoying life you're just gonna be running you know you're just gonna be you just just and this is how i live most of my life just like. What do i need to get done today. I need to get this shit done. And i just grind so throw that list away instead. Focus on your state. And what. I mean by. This is the frequency What you're drop into your body you know and design a day won't design wool starting with one day but every day design your days where you are Not dipping into a lower frequency so dread worry panic right. This is the state that he used to live in Because when that happens. I don't think you get a lot done you know. And when you are focusing on a checklist i personally it activates. My my stress activates my fighter flight. And so you wanna do things that don't activate your fight or flight instead Encouraged flow states.