Whether you're struggling with your mental health or trying to support someone who is, we've got you covered. Listen to the latest tips, strategies, and practical advice from a series of honest and lively conversations. Aired from leading talk radio shows and premium podcasts.
A highlight from Podcast 438: 3 Ways to Recover & Revive When Feeling Overwhelmed
"Hi, I'm doctor Caroline leaf and welcome to my podcast cleaning up the mental mace. In today's podcast, I'm going to be speaking about three tips to boost your energy and the reason why I chose to do this is because so many people keep asking me and listen to ask myself the same question. How can I get more energy this so much to do? I feel so overwhelmed I feel so burnt out so there's some amazing tips I'm going to give you four tips today that will help boost your energy and will help with that I use them and when I don't I battle. So these are some real great energy boosting hex to help you get that burnout under control. But before we begin, I just wanted to remind you that if you want to listen to this podcast or any of my podcasts add free, then subscribe to my Patreon account the link in details will be in the show notes and as I said you can listen to this ad free and all my other podcasts and there is bonus content in there as well as live Q&A's that I will be doing. So back to today's podcast. Life can be hard and it's easy to feel stressed anxious and out of control. What if there was a way to take back control? What if there was a practical way to detox your brain? This is now possible with neuropil, the first ever scientifically tested brain detox app shown to help reduce anxiety and depression by up to 81%. Users are guided through a variation of audio and video brain exercises and mind management lessons every day. I'm excited to share some of the latest features in the app, including guides for children and parents, detailed feedback and recommendations written guides through days 22 through 63 of the neural cycle and an easy way to track your progress. There are over €500,000 cycle users worldwide and the app has helped change thousands of lives, including people trying to find purpose in life, overcoming fear, better sleep, improved relationships, managing intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety and so much more. Neuropsych is for everybody, no matter who you are, what you've been through, what you do, you have an incredible mind and brain that is always on and needs to be managed so that you can live your best in both mentally and physically. This is designed for individuals couples families businesses or corporations for everyone everywhere. Join us by committing just a few minutes a day and see how your life is transformed in just 63 days you will have begun rewiring your brain for a happier and healthier life. Download the neural cycle app today and start changing your life one thought at a time. Just look for neural cycle on the iTunes App Store or Google Play or visit new recycle app. The link and more information will be in the show notes. Okay, so how many times have you felt like you overwhelmed burnt out just too much to do? Can't handle it. Exhausted a culture hidden and said, oh, I'm so tired. My brain is just so tired. I just need a break. So I've done this often, and I know how to manage it. I recognize when it happens and as I said, that when I don't do this, I really battle. So, first of all, let's talk about why do we get tired? And then we're going to then I'm going to give you four tips. So the reason that we get tired is because our non conscious mind, which operates 24/7, which never stops for one second, which helps you function during the day helps you pull up all these thoughts at the moment within memories that you need to go through the day that helps you basically get through the day helps you manage your body, helps you manage your brain helps you recognize when you've got some issues going on in your life where you worked up or whatever, it is brilliant. You're non conscious minds amazing. Works for your sleep. It works to help you sort out and housekeep when you're asleep, it helps to prepare you for the next day. It significants tired because when it stops, you did basically. Your non conscious mind never stops going. Full of energy, quantum speed energy. You conscious mind is limited. It has less energy it's slower. It works hand in hand with the energy levels of the brain and the brain gets very tired. So when the non conscious mind and the conscious mind are working together through the physical brain and body, there's a lot of energy that is being used and that energy basically waste out exactly like if your cell phone, if you have your if you have a whole ton of apps open on your cell phone and you have a on bright and you constantly talking on it and do lives and whatever, the better we stand and you have to recharge your battery. So that's kind of what the brain and the conscious mind function like. The unconscious mind is a constant energy source as I said. So none conscious. The source of everything, okay? Your conscious mind is only awake when you're awake and it uses your brain when you're awake and the brain and the conscious mind need to have breaks. So you need to sleep at night for your brain and body to regenerate and get that break the big break and then you need to and then also get your conscious mind a break because your conscious mind is very deliberate and intentional it's working really hard to think and feel and choose about the stuff during the course of the day guided by the non conscious, so that's why I get so tired. So now, if we get very stimulated and we which happens to me a lot, I get super excited about my work and I will be doing research for like I'm writing a new book at the moment on mental health for kids. I've got multiple clinical trials running and like you are busy, okay? So I get super into everything I'm doing to the point where I can sometimes feel like my brain is tired like a really mentioned. Peak tea has long been one of my favorite tea brands. I drink the Earl Grey tea every day and love how delicious it is and how easy it is to take with me when I'm traveling on the go. Recently I also started using peaks liposomal vitamin C as well, and it has made such a difference in my life. Natural collagen production starts to slow down in our 20s, and I'm 59 now, so this product has become an important part of my daily routine, vitamin C is vital in the production of collagen and plays a key role in keeping our skin clump, supple and glowing as we age. Liposome vitamin C's maximize for absorption to support healthy collagen levels for healthy skin and provide immune support, especially with cold and flu season upon us, peak's liposome of vitamin C is full of antioxidants from organic elderberry super food complex that can help smooth and brighten skin combat, hyperpigmentation and sunspots, sun damage from inside out. I love that it makes a great addition to my skin care routine, especially since I already use a topic of vitamin C serum and that it only has 7 clean ingredients. It's the beauty wellness shot that I look forward to take every day delicious and nutritious, plus it's Nanjing and has no refined sugars or preservatives. For a limited time, special offer get 15% off and free shipping on your first month's supply of daily radiance by going to peak life dot com forward slash doctor leaf, its peak life dot com forward slash doctor leaf, the linker details will be in the show notes.
A highlight from #301: How Low-Level Restriction Saps Your Energy
"Your energy. I'll explain how even if you think you're eating, quote unquote, plenty of calories. You might still be taking in too little energy and what you can do about it. Before I answer just a few quick announcements, this episode of food site is brought to you by my intuitive eating fundamentals online course. The course is an incredibly deep dive into intuitive eating with dozens of hours of content helping you work through the ten principles of intuitive eating, troubleshoot common sticking points, and finally get to a place of peace with food. Of course now has a new home on a new platform that's easy to use on any device and a huge library of q-and-as from me and my team to help answer all the frequently and not so frequently asked questions that come up in the process of relearning intuitive eating.
A highlight from Child Abuse
"I've made a living doing lots of different things, I was an editor when I was a kid. I was editing pop videos and stuff like that doing a lot of work for MTV. Then I stopped all that and started a band. I was in a band for about 5, 6 years, then I got into writing radio comedy, did a few serious radio four developed it, got a TV series with BBC three, I then made a feature film. During all of that, I did voice-over as did a lot of voice-over for radio and television, did a series called eurotrash for about 16 series. And I carried on making music pretty much alongside everything else all my life. Put out a few solo albums, and I've just written a book. About my traumatic childhood. And my attempt to sort of come to terms with a lot of that, I suppose, through my creative life. I don't really know where to start to be honest talking about the book because it's very interesting. It's obviously you sort of written about your life, but it's also a very serious topic. So where should we start with all this? I mean, I don't know whether I should say, well, tell us about your childhood because but I don't really know how to start other than to say that. I'm very happy to talk about it. I've talked to pubs about it in the last few weeks. I have no compunction about discussing any of it, to be honest, and so I went to a boys club from the age of ten that was run by the Spanish category organization Opus dei. And there I met a man who was running the boys club who was ten years older than me. I was ten, he was 20. And he became very friendly and then became befriended my family. And for about a year, I suppose you would say he's sort of groomed me. And then that became physical sexual abuse. For the following 5 years until I was 16. And all that time, he was a, he became almost like a sort of adopted son to my parents, I suppose, was a constant visitor to our House. I would constantly go and stay with him either at the boys club or increasingly at his flat or house, which became in the same town that my parents lived. Again, I address in the book, you look at it and know anything, how was that? How was that considered normal, but it just kind of was. And yeah, and then he became like I say, almost like an adopted son and then actually married my older sister and went on to have ten children with her. So is inextricably part. Of our family. And then when I eventually, I didn't really, I don't think I understood what had happened to me. I only acknowledged what had happened to me in for the first time I actually said to another person, these things happened to me as a child. It wasn't until 2002. So by which point I was in my late 30s. Part of what I've written about in the book, my book shadow man, which is the title comes from a song that I wrote in 1992. And I discovered, as I was writing the book that I had effectively, cataloged what happened to me as a child, for years afterwards, in music, and then to an extending comedy, and then to an extent in film, it found its way into everything I wrote. But while I was writing, I had no idea that I was writing about myself. The more I discussed this and give very specific examples of it, which I do in the book, I quote lyrics every other page. Throughout the book, it seems inconceivable that I didn't understand what I was writing about, but I think partly it is inexplicable. What happened to me as a child, I didn't know what it was. It becomes a component part of your normality. And I think what happened, I started writing songs, not long after the abuse ended, and I think what I was doing was trying, I prefaced this in the book, but I think what I was trying to do was I was trying to explain the inexplicable. And I think I was doing a lot of thinking to myself and coming to a realization. What those feelings had been and what those feelings and experiences had engendered because as bad as the physical abuse was in the moment, the real harm that I sustained, I think. Is that I was taught by my abuser as part of his process to allow what he did. I was taught to be mistrustful of myself. And I don't think I formed, I don't think my character was somewhat malformed. Through that through that period, you know, the years between 11 and 16 obviously are absolutely crucial developmentally. I think one of the ways that it was incredibly difficult for me was that those are the times that you form friendships that can last and I would form friendships. We quite strange kind of pretexts or presets. And partly that was because one of my duties as a sort of founding member of this boys club and as the sort of leading acolyte of the guy running it was that I had to do what was called the apostolate, which was to get anyone and everyone I could. I had to get everybody to come to the boys club and the sort of joke in the book in that respect it was the opposite of Fight Club. You know, you told everyone about it. And but what that meant was whenever I started to form a friendship. I would then get that person to come to the boys club and more often than not. In fact, almost inevitably, at some point, those other kids would go, what is this? And who's this guy? And I would get lumped in with that. And I think that was, I remember specific examples of feeling absolutely just so embarrassed and I'd go into school and I would think oh God, somebody had come to the boys club had then come back and was whispering about it to other kids at school and I think often I would become something of a prior because of that. And I think those are feelings, those are feelings that go so deeply and have affected me throughout my life in terms of
A highlight from Modernizing Laundry with Tumble
"Talking to a Marine Corps veteran Scott Patterson, founder of tumble, which is modernized laundry, let's say. Scott got some good things to talk about before we do all that. Take us back to us what you did in the Marine Corps. Yeah, well, thanks so much for having me on Joe. So I joined the Marine Corps three days after my 18th birthday. I actually was going to go to Arizona state and play with lacrosse and be a political science major. But kind of towards the end of my senior year high school, I decided I didn't want to go to college. So I walked into the recruiting office and I said I was only going to join if they let me be infantry. And so he was very happy he gave me an educational bonus and a whole bunch of other stuff. Because I had good grades and all that stuff. So yeah, so I joined the infantry. I actually joined on a reserve contract. This is a very nuance of 2008 when I joined. I joined on a reserve contract I remember spending three years on active duty. Almost immediately. So going through the pipeline, going to boot camp, going to SLI, immediately getting activated and deployed coming back, doing some other kind of random stuff, did recruiting did, I don't know. They had me doing all sorts of random random things. But by the time I got back from Ramadi, I really wanted to go to college. College doesn't seem so bad anymore. College was once so bad. Wrapped up everything with active duty in order to drop back the reserves, joined joined into that whole lifestyle, which was very weird for me. And I went to college. I went to up to Chico at a friend who was up there going to school. And she goes to Northern California. It's a State College, one of the gajillion state colleges and California. And originally I wanted to be a firefighter paramedic, I think, is what I decided on. And so I took an EMT class, and then I, in order to become a paramedic, you have to take physiology. And in order to take physiology, you have to take chemistry. So I took the chemistry class really enjoyed it. And decided to go get my degree in biochemistry. All the while still getting activated and deployed and sent all over the place. Which was a lot of fun to be totally honest. It's a good time. So I got through kind of the end of college solid four years and decided I actually decided I was going to be pre med got kind of the end of college and as you can probably figure out I was pretty burnt out on college. After doing the whole thing. I had an opportunity to go to marsoc went through assessment selection. Unfortunately, it didn't get selected at the end of all of it. So then I kind of returned back and was like, well, what am I going to do? And got a great job at Genentech as a chemist. Making monoclonal antibodies, which are very popular these days. Everybody knows what those are nowadays, right? Yeah. So originally from wa colon antibodies, the only thing that we could get as an industry that I'm approved for was cancer, cancer drugs. And they were very effective. Judd tech did a fantastic job with those treatments pretty widely used. And at that time I was kind of like, yeah, I got a good job.
A highlight from Podcast 437: How Minimalism Can Improve Your Mental Health & Mind
"Hi, I'm doctor Caroline leaf and welcome to my podcast cleaning up the mental mace. In today's podcast, I talk with Joshua baker on overcoming distractions to pursue a more meaningful life and how to focus on things that really matter. We talk about how distractions and disruptions add up to make you feel restless, tired and unfulfilled. We also talk about practical ideas and examples for letting go of those distractions to really focus on what matters most. We also discuss the benefits of minimalism for mental health. And now on to today's podcast. Life can be hard and it's easy to feel stressed anxious and out of control. What if there was a way to take back control? What if there was a practical way to detox your brain? This is now possible with neuropsychology. The first ever scientifically tested brain detox app shown to help reduce and anxiety and depression by up to 81%. Users are guided through a variation of audio and video brain exercises and mind management lessons every day. I'm excited to share some of the latest features in the app, including guides for children and parents, detailed feedback and recommendations written guides through days 22 through 63 of the neural cycle and an easy way to track your progress. There are over €500,000 cycle users worldwide and the app has helped change thousands of lives, including people trying to find purpose in life, overcoming fear, better sleep, improved relationships, managing intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety and so much more. Neuropsych is for everybody no matter who you are, what you've been through, what you do, you have an incredible mind and brain that is always on and needs to be managed so that you can live your best both mentally and physically. This app is designed for individuals couples families businesses or corporations for everyone everywhere. Join us by committing just a few minutes a day and see how your life is transformed in just 63 days you will have begun rewiring your brain for a happier and healthier life. Download the neural cycle up today and start changing your life one thought at a time. Just look for neural cycle on the iTunes App Store or Google Play or visit new recycle app. The link and more information will be in the show notes. Welcome to my podcast Josh. I'm really going to enjoy talking to you about this incredibly important topic. You've written a book, things that matter, overcoming distraction, to pursue a more meaningful life, and we definitely are in the age of distraction. Not that distractions are anything new, but I just think we've forgotten how to manage them. So I find your book very very pertinent very relevant for current age and I am just after you've introduced yourself as a couple of things I want to just read to the audience that I think are amazing. So welcome. Tell my audience a little bit more about you. They've heard your intern by a little bit, but it's always nice to hear from the person themselves. Yeah, so good to be here. Thanks so much. I do think it is an important conversation about how do we live lives that lives that we can be proud of when we get to the end of them and by that I mean not lives where we're gonna make no mistakes, obviously, but lives where we get to the end. We have fewer regrets because we chose to pursue those things that are important and those things that actually matter and so certainly the book is about two steps number one about identifying what things matter and what things are most important and then number two overcoming all of the distractions that our society throws at us that often keeps us from pursuing those things in the long run. So I have a wife and two kids and I'm here in Phoenix, Arizona, U.S., so it's good to be with you. Wonderful, it's so great to have you with us and I think what's really important about what you're saying is that when I was going through your book and preparing for this interview, I felt like, yeah, you know, I know this, but are we applying this in our life? You know, so it's really great to have this inner format where we can just draw people's attention to it. So it's really great. I wanted to read a couple of things the first thing was a quote by Seneca on the shortness of life. I thought this was beautiful. I love this quote. One of my favorites. I wanted to just read it. You've got it on your I think it's your chapter one. We are not given a short life, but we make it short. And we are not ill supplied but wasteful of it. Life is long if you know how to use it. It's just profound and really summarizes your book. So would you talk a little bit about why you chose that particular saying basin Kerr, who's a philosopher and how this launched you into this. It literally page one, chapter one, and launch due to this cold book. There are three stories that really came together in my life that kind of became the framework and the thinking behind the book. The book wasn't written for another ten years, but I read an article or I noticed an article back in 2009 by a nurse named brawny ware. She was in Australia and she had worked with dying patients for years and years and so she wrote an article called top 5 regrets of the dying based on the different conversations that she had had with so many patients over the end of their lives. And the article was fascinating about the article. Number one, the 5 regrets are fascinating, but what was even more fascinating to me was how popular the article became. I mean, it got shared millions and millions of times, every major media outlet in the world covered it. It was a topic that resonated with people. People were drawn to it, even as I say, top 5 regrets of the dying. Everyone wants to know what's on the list. We all waiting. We all waiting for you to tell us. Because none of us want to reach the end of our lives with a lot of regrets. Around that same time, my grandfather, who was early 90s, perfectly healthy, he lived to be just shy of a hundred. He called me and was office and asked me to play a part in his funeral, showed me what party wanted me to play and what he wanted me to read and asked me to say a few words. And it was a life-changing conversation because I sat across the desk from someone who not only had planned out his funeral, but didn't face death with fear, not just not fear of the afterlife, but not fear in that he had wasted his life. Like he talked about the life he had lived and what he had focused on and how he had lived a life. He didn't use his words, but how he had devoted his life towards things with meaning, so much so that he could get to the end of his life and just recognize death is the next step that's going to happen. And so that bronnie ware article that conversation with my grandfather where I just began asking hop. Like how do I get to that side of the desk? How do I get to the end of my life proud of how I am proud of how I lived. And then I ran across that Seneca quote sometime about that about that same time. And you stopped short of the one sentence where he says, you know, life is long enough if you know how to use it. But when life is wasted on heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced by death's final constraint to realize it passed away before we knew it was passing. And that really became the driver behind the book. What are these no good activities and what are these heedless luxuries that when we spend our lives focused upon them life passes by before we even knew it was passing. Wow, that's amazing. That is so fascinating. Okay, I want a lovely story. I mean, what a lovely way to sort of boost a book in both a concept. Your grandfather did he the sort of things that he said that they align with what techno said was the similarity and can you distill talk about those 5 regrets and link it into your grandfather's conversation, perhaps? Yes and no. I mean, there are actually some regrets. The top 5 regrets, if I can get him off the top of my head, I wish I'd stay in touch with friends. I wish I had been more courageous to express my feelings. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I had enjoyed life more, and now I forget the
A highlight from #619 Neal Brennan's Horrifying DMT Ride
"Misfit toys. This episode is sponsored by wondrium. One dream is a great website that has tons of videos, some are lectures, some are documentaries, and they've got a huge, huge variety of subjects. This week I watched the documentary called finding fela, fela kuti was this amazing Nigerian musician. He invented afrobeat. But he was also a he fought the government with his music, he was incredibly brave, and he also had these personal demons and this dark side that could be really repulsive in a way. So a complex figure and I think really kind of what runs through the whole thing is his mental health. So if you're going to do one dream, which I recommend, check out finding fela. So give your metal well-being the boost it needs with wondrium.
A highlight from Best Of: Andy Stanley on Decision-Making with the Enneagram
"Typology. Podcast on which we explore the mystery of the human personality and the story of you through the lens of the enneagram I'm here with my good friend Anthony skinner. Hey folks. We got a big one. I'm excited for this one today. Me too. Gonna be big brother. Yeah, so we are sharing with the folks this special interview with Andy Stanley and it's emphasis is on decision making in the enneagram. That's right. And this was a really great conversation with Andy. And because, you know, of course, he's a brilliant communicator, a brilliant thinker. And the enneagram has so much to say about how different types of people make decisions, right? Because we all don't make them the same way. And it's not only helpful in your personal life, but in your professional life. Yeah. In the workplace, it's important to know this. It's super important to know your process in making decisions in the workplace, right? So I'm really excited for folks to hear this show today to learn more about the enneagram and decision making and organizations in your personal life. It's going to be really rich. All right, let's get straight to it. So now here is your host, Ian cron, and gift. Andy Stanley. I'm Andy Stanley and on this episode, we are talking about decision making. More specifically, we are talking about decision making by the numbers, the enneagram numbers. And if you are not familiar with the enneagram, will you certainly will be by the time we wrap up this episode because in the studio with me today is my friend Ian cron. Welcome back Ian. It's great to be here Andy. Thanks. Yeah, well thanks for coming back. This is our second rodeo together. Talking about leadership, but a little bit different filter. Ian is some of you know is a bestselling author and enneagram teacher and podcast host. He is a psychotherapist, get this songwriter and an episcopal priest and I'm pretty sure he makes his own clothes. Anyway, most recently, Ian authored a book entitled the road back to you, subtitled, and enneagram journey to self discovery, which by the way, I have read this book twice, and it has become a go to resource for me as a staff management tool, even though it's not written with that in mind, as you're going to discover, there is so much to the enneagram when it comes to leadership and staff management. So I'm excited to have Ian back. But before we talk about decision making Ian real quick, sort of big macro level question. What are you telling leaders these days? I mean, we have a pandemic and economic turndown for some. It's an economic meltdown. For other people, they're making more money than ever. It's a very interesting time to be in leadership or management. And you know, this is the first time for all of us. So is there any advice that just doesn't have to be about decision making? What are you telling leaders right now? Yeah, you know, I've spoken with some of my corporate clients and people in the faith community as well. And what I warned them about is a tendency I think that people have when we're in a season of crisis, which is they move from being leaders to managers. You know, and so leadership to over management is a bad transition, right? They want to get down into the weeds, they want to get too involved. In a time of crisis, what's needed most is for the leader to really lead. You know, more than ever. And let management do the management. Don't get involved in the day to today that stuff. Wow, we should probably come back and talk about that for 45 minutes sometime because as you're saying that, I'm thinking about how I have in the last 6 or 7 months had to resist that. And in resisting it has set me up, we're going to talk about this in a few minutes to make some really big decisions that were a 100% leadership decisions. In fact, not only were they not management decisions, the people around me who are more geared toward management, their eyes got big like, what? We're not going to meet until when we have 500 plus staff members, what are they going to do? And suddenly there is chaos in the wake of a purely leadership decision, but I can completely identify with the temptation to, let's just sit back, retreat to what we know and wait and see and wait and see. And as you know, the organizations and nonprofits and churches in particular that are sitting back to wait and see, they're just waiting and they're missing an extraordinary leadership moment. So that is a great insight. And with all that's going on is forced us back to our topic to make some tough decisions, big decisions, decisions with limited information. And as we're about to discover, there's actually a corollary to how we make decisions. How well we make decisions and how we are wired. And that brings us to the significance of the enneagram as it relates to decision making to talk. Just a little bit about wiring and decision making. And then we'll introduce folks to the enneagram. Yeah, so you're absolutely right. I think our inborn temperament and our personality. Greatly influence our decision making styles. And they influence how we respond when others make decisions that affect us as well. Yeah, we're going to talk about that. Well, before we do a deep dive into the enneagram, would you real quickly you did this last time you were with us and it was so helpful even for those of us who are somewhat familiar with enneagram. Just give us a quick overview of the enneagram, a little something on each type, and then we will talk about decision making by the numbers. Okay, well, let's have at it. This is a 50,000 foot, 200 mile an hour rundown of 9 types. So the enneagram is an ancient personality typing system that teaches that there are 9 basic personality types in the world. One of which we gravitate toward and adopt in childhood as a way to feel safe and cope in this new world of relationships. Very importantly, each of those types has a unconscious motivation that powerfully influences how that type acts, thinks and feels on a moment to moment basis. So let's run through the 9 types, okay? So type ones are called the improvers. Now, you'll be glad to know I changed that from the perfectionists to the improvers. I really appreciate it because you told me I'm the number one and I have been a sort of wound up around this perfectionism and now I'm an improver. That's right. And I can't wait to tell sander because as you know my wife is also a number one and which I always tell her she's number one and so I'll get to go home and tell her she's an improver. Yes, well if I had a nickel for every one that thanked me for changing it from perfection is to improve her, I would be Jeff Bezos. Anyway, type ones, the improvers. They are ethical, meticulous, detail oriented, and morally heroic. And they are motivated by a need to perfect themselves. Others in the world. Type twos are called the helpers. Warm, caring, giving they are motivated by a need to be needed and to avoid acknowledging their own personal needs. Type threes are called the performers, they are success oriented, image conscious, wired for productivity, and they're motivated by a need to succeed to appear successful and to avoid failure at all costs. We call the unicorns of the enneagram. We think there are fewer of them represented in the population than any other type. They're called the romantics. They're creative, they're sensitive, they're moody they're motivated by a need to be special and unique. And do you know any force?
A highlight from Podcast 436: When & How to Set Boundaries with Friends
"Hi, I'm doctor Caroline leaf and welcome to my podcast cleaning up the mental mess. We are hopefully help you get lots of strategies for managing your mind to bring your sense of peace and from peace we can get a sense of happiness as well. We can't pass you happiness from the outside it comes from peace on the inside and that comes from managing your mind because your mind drives everything. So in today's podcast I'm going to continue with answering questions because I've been getting I always get great questions and today's one is a fun one and a very interesting one because and I'm going to read it to you. So today I'm going to do a podcast about this question. Is it okay to ask a friend or space? And one of the benefits of being honest about this boundary. Because let's face it sometimes in life we really do feel like we need a bit of space from a friend to how can we do this and is it okay? But just before we begin, if you want to listen to my podcast ad free, you can subscribe to my Patreon account the link and the details will be in the show notes and there you will get ad free content plus bonus content and things like live Q&A's. So go subscribe to my Patreon account if that's how you feel and listen to these podcasts. One more thing these podcasts are educational. They're not medical advice. So if you need medical advice, please contact the appropriate medical professional. And on to today's podcast, let's answer question. Life can be hard and it's easy to feel stressed anxious and out of control. What if there was a way to take back control? What if there was a practical way to detox your brain? This is now possible with neuropil, the first ever scientifically tested brain detox app shown to help reduce anxiety and depression by up to 81%. Users are guided through a variation of audio and video brain exercises and mind management lessons every day. I'm excited to share some of the latest features in the app, including guides for children and parents, detailed feedback and recommendations written guides through days 22 through 63 of the neural cycle and an easy way to track your progress. There are over 500,000 europol users worldwide and the app has helped change thousands of lives, including people trying to find purpose in life, overcoming fear, better sleep, improved relationships, managing intrusive thoughts, depression and anxiety and so much more. Neuropsych is for everybody, no matter who you are, what you've been through, what you do, you have an incredible mind and brain that is always on and needs to be managed so that you can live your best in both mentally and physically. This app is designed for individuals couples families businesses or corporations for everyone everywhere. Join us by committing just a few minutes a day and see how your life is transformed in just 63 days you will have begun rewiring your brain for a happier and healthier life. Download the neuropsych app today and start changing your life one thought at a time. Just look for neural cycle on the iTunes App Store or Google Play or visit new recycle app. The link and more information will be in the show notes. Okay, so is it okay to ask a friend for space absolutely? It's okay to ask a friend for space. Boundaries are such an important part of healthy living. So I've got a little demo that I'm going to do with this. Okay, so here you've seen me do this before, but it just works incredibly well. So here's your relationship with your friend. It's a good relationship. That's great, but something happens in your relationship or something happens in your life. And you just feel like you need a little bit of space. You feel crowded, watch out with the tree inside here, there's no room to breathe, you feel a bit crowded, you just feel like you need some space. So how do you get to that point to get to the point where you feel like you've got a bit more space to get perspective? And we are all entitled to do this with kindness and gentleness because there's certain times in our life that we just need more space we might need a lot of space. Just to be able to process what we're going through. And there are times in life with certain people are just not good for you at that time. It doesn't mean that you have to end the friendship. This could be that it's just a season that you're going through. Okay, so at any one time and I sit over here, we are all in our own unique space. At any one time and need to be able to communicate where we are and what we need to our loved ones, including offerings. So at any moment, you are in your own unique space. And that is your story, your context of our space, I'm in context of what are you going through at this moment. If you came to me and I was your therapist and I'm practicing most of you can come to me, but if you were and I was practicing, the first thing I would ask you is what your story, what your unique space, where you at what's going on, what's happening to you at this moment in your life. And that is unique to you and no one except you or you are an expert on that, what you are going through in the space that you are needing in that moment. And you were within your rights to kindly and gently explain to as much details you need to create that space. I'm going to give you some practical takes and things that you could actually say. Or it takes you could send all things that you could say. So we always need to remember that we are experts on our own things but on the context of our lives at any given moment. So have confidence in their turn, don't deny where you at in the moment. I'm not asking you or telling you to become self preoccupied. I'm telling you just to self regulate. Stand back and observe yourself. Where am I at in this moment right now? If I carry on pushing and trying to be that interactive friend that I just can't be at the moment, something at some point is going to crack. I'm going to say something I regret. I'm going to do something I regret. I'm going to feel something that I don't that is just more of a reactive feeling as opposed to a truthful valid example of what's actually happening. So we can get our feelings and our body signals all the warning signals can get kind of sometimes a little bit blurred if we don't stand back and observe what we need in that context of that moment. So if being around a certain person or a group of persons is affecting how you processing life based on this context, you need to feel free to ask for space. And it doesn't necessarily mean that the person is bad. It could just be that they are not what you need in this particular moment. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to you that you think well and manage your mental health, your brain needs proper nourishment. But many of us don't have the time to take multiple different products all day long for better brain and body health, more energy and optimized immune systems. This is why I love athletic greens. It has just what I need in one drink. First of all, it doesn't taste like it's super healthy. Honestly, athletic greens is a mild tropical taste that I actually look forward to each morning when I wake up, even my husband who can't stand things that taste too green loves you suddenly athletic greens in the morning with one delicious scoop of athletic greens you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins minerals whole foods or super foods probiotics and adaptogens to help you start your day right. The special blend of ingredients supports your brain, your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery focus and aging. All the things
A highlight from #300: What to Do When Your Family Makes Diet-Culture Comments
"Your book and podcast have been liberating from the life thief. My question is, how do I approach comments from family members that are diet culture ish? I'm trying to teach my daughter now 11 about body acceptance, but it's sometimes derailed by family and friends who have their own issues. Signed Stella concerned mama and recovering disordered eater slash exerciser. So thanks Stella for that great question. And before I answer, I'll just give my standard disclaimer that these answers and this podcast in general are for informational and educational purposes only aren't a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice. And don't constitute a provider patient relationship. Also, this is just my take as one dietician and journalist, and I hope you'll seek out other perspectives and consult your own inner compass as well. So having a family that makes diety comments is really so common and understandable, given that we all live in diet culture, right? So you're definitely not alone. I know many, many people who've gone through the same issue. And personally, for me, as a anti diet dietitian and journalist who has friends and family members who know what I do for a living and I've talked about my work with them. Unfortunately, that's stuff still comes up, right? Still in my life, the people who know what I do for a living will occasionally make these diet culture comments and I have to navigate it as just a human living in the world. And I myself was on the flip side of that, right? Like years ago, I actually made some comments, some diety comments to the friend who introduced me to the wait inclusive paradigm more than 12 years ago now. And so now here I am over a decade later as a major proponent of the anti diet approach. So I've been on both sides of this and I think I'm kind of living proof that people can evolve in their views. But it really does take time and often people just aren't going to be open to challenging their own internalized diet culture beliefs. I know I certainly wasn't when my friend first brought it up to me and it wasn't until a few years later when I started working with eating disorders and really took a hard look at my own history of eating disorders and disordered eating that I was really able to open up to anti diet concepts and dig into the science for myself. But my friend had planted that seed, right? Which made me more receptive when I finally did encounter that paradigm at a time when I was in strong recovery myself and really ready for those ideas. So right now, Stella, your family members might be really entrenched in their diet culture beliefs and closed off to other views, just like I was back then or so many of us probably have had that experience, right?
A highlight from How Are You Out Of 10?
"He's the cofounder and co CEO of talk club. We're going to be chatting about men's mental health, peer support, and asking how are you out of ten? Talk club is a mental fitness movement. We were a charity and men's mental health charity, but we like to use the language mental fitness. And we set it up to get men talking in a nutshell. And to help men improve their mental fitness. And was there any sort of particular reason why I wanted to set up, I mean, obviously it's needed very much so, but was there something that particularly sort of sparked it off? One of our cofounders Ben Akers made a documentary three and a half years ago called Steve. And it was a documentary about his childhood best friend deviates who took his life 8 years ago now. And in dealing with that grief, Ben decided he wanted to make a documentary. He was quite shocked as we all are when you learn about the stats of suicide because obviously it's not talked about, not many people know about the real stats of male suicide. And therefore, Ben decided to make a documentary about this. In that documentary, basically all the cofounders are in this documentary, I did the music for the documentary back in the back in my old life, I used to be a musician and a recording artist. And so I gave Ben the songs for the film. And then afterwards, chatting to Ben afterwards about the sort of legacy of the documentary in what he wants to do next. He was saying he feels like he wanted to set up some kind of talking group. And at that time, I said to him, well, I'm training to be a counselor myself. So I said, I'm very interested in helping in any way I can. And that's when talk global was born, really, from that. We decided to set up the first talking group in south Phil and Bristol. And I think there was just me and Ben and two others for the first couple of weeks. And then from then it grew and grew and grew. And three and a half years later, we're a charity now. We've got charity status been a charity for 18 months. Two and a half thousand men in the community, 64 groups around the world now, we've now got therapy groups as well up and running. And obviously lots of different partnerships with nivea and Lexus and the charity singles with Liam Gallagher and Tyson Fury. So it's grown and grown and grown. Can we just go back a bit there because you mentioned initially when you sort of had the conversation first of all you musician, but you were also thinking about becoming a counselor. Is that a road that you've gone down? Yes, yes, so I'm qualified now I've been qualified for over two years. And I've got my own private practice. And so that's what I do now is I'm a counselor. And obviously the cofounder and co CEO of talk club. So that's my week now is clients and talk club. Was there any particular reason why you wanted to go into that field yourself? Yeah, I came out with music and, you know, a bit lost, really, because I've been a musician for 20 years and didn't quite know what to do with myself. And I'd already tried volunteering with a few different charities off the record and cruise bereavement care. And I actually quite enjoyed the work and I found it very therapeutic. And from my own journey, my dad died 14 years ago and I actually went to cruise with my dad died and I found it very helpful. So I just thought, actually, yeah, I really resonated with that. So I thought, I'm going to look into that. And it just spoke to me really, and I just thought, I'm going to go and train and see what happens. And here I am now. And I'm loving it. I must admit, I'm really happy. That makes total sense, because obviously, you know, you've sort of seen the benefit for yourself of talking in the real difference that that can make, aren't it? During difficult times. So yeah, it's great that you have gone down that route. I suppose my next sort of question is, how is talk club different for other from other mental health charities and groups that are specifically aimed at men because there's a couple out there now.
A highlight from Arbos Cheese Dip with Andrew Abrogast
"Pilot in the army. So first things first, take back, tell us what you did in the army. Hey, thanks, Joe. I appreciate you having me on. And if my younger marine brother was here right now, he would be you're on your side entirely and wouldn't give me any credit for being an Apache pilot. So kudos to you. As a cobra pilot, but was your brother doing the Marine Corps? He was at O three 11 infantry. 300 infantry, yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Fits the build of that. Yeah, I know. So just kind of going back about the military experience. I'm from Memphis, Tennessee, and when I don't have any, I didn't have any family in the military, so it was kind of a new ordeal for me. And it was around the time of 9 11, where I was still in high school and knew I needed to go to college. I wanted to go to culinary school, but was kind of pointed towards a different direction to go to a university. And so I ended up going to northwest Missouri state university, which I'm from Memphis. This is in maryville Missouri, it really had no business being there, but I shadowed the ROTC program with a buddy of mine who was interested in doing it. And when I went there, met with him, I just immediately felt included and wanted, right? So it's like, man, this is a good group of guys and gals and they're genuinely interested in me. And so I ended up Ellen when I started going to school there. They reached out and they're like, hey, I wanted to see if you wanted to come to PT one morning. And then it was history from there. Doing the ROTC thing. And I ended up doing a contracted my sophomore year and got a three year scholarship and it was one of those things where it's like, yes, there was definitely some patriotism there that was pushing me towards wanting to do this, but obviously the scholarship and having a guaranteed job when I graduated was very enticing as well. So just fast forward, we do our whole branch selection and ended up going aviation and at the time there was like this guaranteed branch ad so active duty service obligation. So it's like if you get your branch of choice, you're going to owe an additional three years. So it long story short, I didn't read the fine print. I thought I would like 6 or 7 years, ended up owing ten. And I didn't find that out until I was married and mentioned that to my wife and passing. And she's very happy about that. But it all worked out the end. So going from Missouri down to fort Rucker, Alabama, flight school for two years. It was during the surge. So there was a large bubble of people and just spent a lot of time doing details. So from there, student leader at port Riley, one one ARV and deployed to Iraq and came back career course and then went to port Campbell, 101st and served as a company commander there and the one 5 9th combat aviation brigade deployed Afghanistan and then upon returning, I knew I was ready to get out of the army and I wanted to pick a location that would in a job that would be suitable for civilian transition. And so I chose a recruiting command, terrible choice. Terrible decision. And but it was in Savannah, Georgia. And so that's where I ended up finishing the remainder of my two years and worked on my transition from there. Yeah, you're back in the civilian world as a recruiter, but yet you're working 80 hours a week or whatever. So that whole lot of spare time to work on that transition. So as you're timing the army came to an end, what did your transition out of the army end up looking like? So, you know, it was one of those things where in recruiting because you are non deployable, they still work you to death, right? So it's one of those, yeah, you could be deployed. So be thankful. It didn't matter if you're gone from your family. Weeks, nights, weekends, and stuff like that. So, but I did know that as important as the mission was, the army was not going to care about me when I ETS. And so it was on me to work towards this transition of what I wanted to do. And I was either I
A highlight from #618 What Is A "Good Asian Son"? - Chris Chou
"Misfit toys. This episode is sponsored by wondrium and I'm very excited that they are sponsors of the podcast because I'm a big fan of what they do. They have a huge collection of videos that you can watch lectures on a variety of topics and lectures might not be the right word because it sounds kind of kind of dry before I went to my trip to Ireland a couple of years back. I checked out their series on Irish history and it was so it was so great. But one of the things that I want to direct you guys to is they have a new series called finding strength and mental health and they have an interview with sugar ray lander about substance abuse and trauma and dispelling the myth that success will make you happy. Anyway, give your metal well-being the boost it needs with wondrium. You guys will love it. Right now, wondering is offering you guys 50% off your first three months.
A highlight from Podcast 435: How Hard Is It to Stop Antidepressants?
"Today's podcast I have an incredibly important discussion with doctor Mark Horowitz, who is an MD has a PhD in Sakura neurobiology and is a clinical research and trainee psychiatrist fellow at university college London. Mark tells his story from both sides of the disk, being a clinician and a patient. He explains despite his extensive training, he was told antidepressants which had been on since he was a medical student was safe and easy to come off, which was completely contrary to his experience personally and those of his patients. He found that experts in his field actually had little understanding on the withdraw effects of psychiatric drugs saying to stop drugs over two to four weeks and it would only be mild symptoms. Instead, the place where he found the most useful advice which through research has been shown to be the correct advice was from online peer support websites of those who had survived coming of antidepressants. We talk about this in depth and Morgan explains exactly how to come off psychiatric drugs in the proper way. We provide a link to his protocol, which is on the Royal College of psychiatrists website in these show notes. We also touch on the dangers of a schedule meme. Let's begin. Life can be hard and it's easy to feel stressed, anxious and out of control. What if there was a way to take back control? What if there was a practical way to detox your
A highlight from Unlocked: Mindfulness and the Enneagram, A Members-Only Podcast Episode
"And then one of the really cool things that we do is at the end of that podcast we give our listeners homework and then once a month, we all get together in a town hall and we have Q&A. We have crosstalk. It's just like one of our favorite things that we do with typology. It is. And this is, by the way, everything Anthony just said is only for typology institute members. So today we're going to listen to a podcast. We want you to hear a sample podcast. This podcast only went out to typology institute members. It did not go out to our broader typology podcast audience, right? And then when this was done, we actually had a show on which we met with the guy we're about to talk with on the show. And we were on a Zoom call. We have all these people on there and we have these cool live conversations with each other that are really, really fantastic. So we got some things too, as we get to know names, history, stories. It's like a family. It's like a cool community. It's a rich group of people. So I want to encourage you to join. It's 15 bucks a month. It is so well worth your money and your time. Ian, let's talk about today's guest. Yeah, so on this show, we had a really great friend of mine. His name is Andrew Chapman. Andrew is a really brilliant psychotherapist, right? He's a licensed social worker. He also is a meditation teacher. He is such a, in fact, Andrew ran a meditation retreat. I was on. Yeah. 6, 6 or 7 days long, we did 5 to 7 hours of meditation a day. Jealous. Oh dude, it was amazing. It sounds so overwhelming and difficult. It was difficult, but it was life-changing and his teaching and leadership on it was amazing. So on this podcast, we just kind of go into all the benefits of a mindfulness practice of regular meditation and how it needs to be how it relates to the enneagram. But because as you know, I often talk about how a mindfulness meditation practice is critical for doing the transformative work that can be done using the enneagram. So that's what this is all about. And listen, you know, so folks know if you want to, after hearing this, want to join the typology membership institute so you have access to secret podcasts like this one. I got to do is go to the typology institute dot com slash membership page and sign on it. There you go. Without any further ado, let's welcome Andrew chow. We're glad to have you here, man. Awesome, man. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate you inviting me out. Yeah. So in the interest of transparency, not only is Andrew my meditation teacher, he's also my therapist. All right. I can not confirm or deny. Well, I've just so appreciated your wisdom and the way that you've integrated mindfulness meditation into my personal work as a person in recovery. I would say, am I right as saying that wild heart has a large recovery community that is part of it. Oh yeah, a big part of our community, folks find us through the 12 steps seen or are looking for kind of alternate perspectives on how to incorporate meditation into their daily lives through recovery or just people wandering off the street. But yeah, a big contingent is from, I'd say the recovery world. Very cool. Yeah, it is wonderful. It is wonderful. You know what's amazing, Anthony? Before we jump in the standard, and I'm sure you'll, I'm hoping you'll concur. It's amazing. This is a silent retreat. So you have a couple hours on the first night to talk with people. But that ain't much, right? When you're getting started and then you have 6 days. Wow. Of no talking. Okay? And what's amazing is, is you get to day 6 and you start to talk, you have a little time on the night of night 6 and then you go back into silence and then the next day after breakfast or lunch, you can begin talking again with people because you're leaving. It's amazing how intimate you become with people in the silence. Like you actually feel like you've gotten to know them without saying the word. This extraordinary. Has that been your experience? Oh yeah, it's very true. And you know, that's the thing about silent retreat is that a lot of these kind of insights or realizations, they come very experientially and viscerally, but hard to put to words and one of those experiences just how connected you can feel to complete strangers. Over the course of a week without having said a word to them. I think it's just the vulnerability everyone gets into their heart and softens and there's kind of a sense of we're in this together. This is incredibly challenging thing. We're going through all of this stuff, but we haven't said a word about it. And then when we start to talk, it's almost like we can pick up in our more vulnerable moment together. Yeah, it's fascinating. It is really great. So I want to press you to go on this retreat, September 3 to 6. Yeah. This is the one that you were just talking about. Yeah. So it's life-changing. I love this. Yeah. So I'm going to offline here. Yeah, let's do it. I'm going to put the screws in. Come on. Turn them on. All right. I love that. So Andrew, you're an enneagram 6 with a 7 wing. I am. Which we love. How were you introduced to the enneagram? Through you, Ian? I mean, through our kind of pop culture too. You know, I mean, to be honest, right? Like Instagram or friend circles and being a 6 wing 7, I'm open and interested, but always skeptical of personality type things, right? Yes. And so I'm like always a late adopter with these things. And but have a very curious mind. So I've always been interested in it and then when you told me a little bit more about the history behind it, I became fascinated and instantly because it has a tradition and a lineage to it. And so that was kind of my end as I was like, oh, well, let me learn about what this thing is about, where it comes from. And then I started reading more about the different types and yeah, there's so much truth. So much truth. Truth that hurts, right? And a lot of ways. And I love that it focuses on not just kind of gassing us up and flowering us up about these are your assets and your wonderful strengths, but also your neurotic fears and insecurities and because I found that to be incredibly true for my type as a 6th. And also just so helpful for understanding when I'm in my more unhealthy patterns and when I'm at my healthiest. Yeah. So you introduced me to it and then I kind of took hold on its own. Yeah, it's interesting fours and 6s tend to be the two numbers that are most resistant that's so funny. My wife's a four and she is incredibly resistant to it. And we were reading the book at night and I kid you not, I read the chapter on the 6 and then I started reading the chapter on the four. And I went over to her ear. As she was falling asleep and I said, we're gonna read
A highlight from Session 284: ICYMI, Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder
"My archive that not only matches the literal season we're in, but also reflects the world we're still trying to figure out how to navigate. Growing up, you might have heard that people's moods change with the season. But did you know that there's actually some science behind that? Despite fall and winter being a time for family traditions and celebrations, it's also a time when more people may experience feelings of sadness, irritability, and fatigue. In this conversation with doctor Ellison Powell hicks, we talked about seasonal affective disorder or sad tips for managing depressive symptoms. How we can tell if symptoms are something we should be concerned about. How to support ourselves in this reimagined holiday season. And some of the relationship challenges that arose during the pandemic and how to manage them. If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share with us on social media using the hashtag TPG in session or join us over in the sister circle to talk more in depth about the episode. You can join us at community and therapy for black girls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us today, doctor alley. Well, thank you for having me. Yes, it feels like we are overdue for a conversation. So I'm very glad we were able to get you on the schedule. So you may have seen this meme floating around social media with all the Spider-Man's pointing at one another, right? With seasonal affective depression meets COVID depression means normal depression, right? And it kind of feels like that is where many of us are, right? Like it just feels like there's been so much going on this year. And now we are hitting peak winter season. Let's start off by defining what seasonal affective disorder is. Well, what it is is it's an increase in depressive symptoms around specific seasons. Most commonly those seasons would be the beginning of fall through winter. Some people do experience some seasonal effective disorder in spring. That is very rare. The average person experiences this decrease in affect, this increase in sadness, maybe even some thoughts of suicide, low volition, low desire to do things that they used to live to do sleep, alterations, changes in diet, and maybe even some level of irritability. The experience some of those symptoms normally starting in fall or winter. There really isn't any difference in what those symptoms look like versus you just had depressive disorder, not otherwise specified or something like that. So can you talk about what people might be expecting or experiencing this year given what 2020 has been like? I think you said it perfectly. It's the too many Spider-Man like model. We have too many overlaying issues. There's a lot of issues happening right now because I mean we also have Black Lives Matter. We also have people concerned about their health insurance. We have people worried about their jobs. We have people worried about their rights on multiple different groups that are doing the threats from DACA people to people dealing with LGBT issues. There's so many co occurring stressors right now. It's something that I think we haven't seen in a hundred years. And so most of us were not alive and those of us who are a hundred weren't alive enough to have done anything a hundred years ago. And so what people can expect and what is a really typical is maybe some increased sadness, right? A level of sadness may be some slight changes in rhythm, like for example, people really haven't been getting out of bed at the same time that they used to when they used to have a job that they had to go to every day, so they had to be up at 5 30 in the morning to get ready. Maybe you're waking up at 7 30 instead or 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock. And some of those things are kind of expected, when you want to begin to get concerned is when these alterations begin to damage or alter the function of your life. So if now your diet and your appetite has changed so much that you're either gaining weight without trying to or losing weight without trying to. That's something to be concerned about if you notice that your sleep is changing so much that now you're sleeping throughout the whole day or you're not sleeping at night at all when you used to. These are the types of changes that you want to keep an eye out for. And how would we know though doctor Ellie, I mean, because so much of that already changed because of the pandemic, right? And so how would I know whether my functioning looks different now than it might have? Would I be comparing it to last year this time? What marker should I be looking for? I say we might need to narrow the comparison window now compare it to two months ago. It's a three months ago because we do have a baseline COVID function. And I think that we've kind of reached a point, at least here in California, I can only speak to. We've been in a level of quarantine since March 19th. And so we've all had a number of different experiences, like for me, the first two weeks I was petrified. Utterly petrified, I didn't sleep. I was in bed all day though. I was sad. I was anxious. I had so many emotions. It was really difficult for me to function. And then I started to kind of lift and everything started to kind of smooth out. Am I the same way I was last year at this time? I don't think so. But I think we begin to identify a rhythm that we have for COVID. So if you, let's say, I don't know who's doing this, but if you like showered every day during COVID, I don't know who's doing that. Maybe I'm telling them myself. I did shower today. But if you showered every day and now you notice you're showing once a week. Or you're showing every third day or you're showing every other day. That's something you can notice. So comparing your current functioning to where it was a few months ago. I think is the way we have to treat it now. That's a good idea. And let's back up a little bit. So what is it about the change in season that causes this difference in functioning? Yeah, it is all about sunshine. It is all about sunshine is that humans need sunshine in order to create vitamin D it's one of the best ways we create vitamin D obviously now we have vitamins and things that we can take supplements. But vitamin D from the sun is so important it helps to elevate mood. It helps to regulate circadian rhythms as well. So we also have melatonin that's impacted by our access to the sun and as well as serotonin and serotonin is something we're all very familiar with when it comes to people with depression, one of the first medications they take is an SSRI, which is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. So serotonin is really important in the way that we process emotions. And so when we have these two chemicals and one vitamin or mineral that are off, it can really change our behavior, the way that we feel in our own skin and the way that we relate to others. And so it is key to try to get as much sunlight as possible if you're in a state that has any California has some right now. But other states are under cloud cover. And so a lot of people have been getting those lights. Those are some nights, and it's really important because as we have more nighttime, we just have less hours in the day. One of my best friends with the Sweden, and I think they're getting like 5 hours of sunshine a day now. And winter hasn't even fully hit. Right, right. So can you talk more about the lights I know a lot of people do like the light boxes, right? And I love that they have become so much more accessible because ten years ago, I remember we would rip them out to students in the counseling center, right? Because it wasn't something that you could individually afford. But it feels like now there are lots of affordable versions. Can you talk a little bit about how the light boxes work? Yes. I release the same type of wavelength that the sun would. And so you can sit near these lights sitting upon what kind of light you have. You can turn it up as high as you can. You can get some of the benefits that you would have had from sunshine from these lights. And it's particularly important for people of color because melanin helps to protect us from the light from UV rays by reflecting more of the UV rays back. And so what it does is it
Parenting Autistic Children David Grant MBE - burst 2
"This episode will be doing things a little bit differently, though, as I'll be interviewing my husband, yes, fellow broadcast a vocal coach and leadership coach and campaigner David grant. As we talk about our own experiences of raising four neurodivergent children, welcome to the show David. Wow, nice to be here, Gary. So for those people that don't know about our family, could you just give us a rundown of our kids? Okay, we have four children our eldest olive is an actor. Our and olive is 27. Next in line is Thailand, who is 20 and also an actor. Next in line is Arlo, who is 16 and at school. And next is in line is Nathan, who is 12. And supposed to be at school, but currently not in school. Yes, okay, so you just had a little bit of a hint towards their not in school. That's been a familiar experience for us with three out of the four children. Because you've named all of their ages in their names and stuff. But what about their diagnoses? Just run me by some of the diagnosis that our children have got. Okay, I will, but because this is like a pick and mix at which point I'm bound to forget some. Would you jump in if I forget any? Yes. Because you know them as well as I do. Olive, has a disparity. And ADHD, Thailand is on the autism spectrum. And Arlo, third is on the autism spectrum. And Nathan. Now I got a minute rewind rewind back up back up. Arlo is autistic and has ADHD. Of course, yes, I forgot all of it as a whole a whole suit of what coterie. Yeah, these disabilities, they're traveling gangs, don't they? And has ADHD. Nathan a 12 year old has ADHD DMDD. Probably dyslexia. Even though they're still working on a diagnosis, and yeah, we have, you know, at some point, if anybody does disability bingo, we jump up and say house. Yeah, well, it's interesting you say disability because I don't really think of them as being disabilities. of them as being just different. I don't think of them as there are any disabilities in the light of the fact that the world is so unaccepting. That's very true. I think that one of the things with an invisible disability so it's called is that, you know, if we what we have done in our family is to recognize that the reason why it's called a disability is because some people find it more challenging to do things that neurotypical people take for granted. On the other hand, without children, it's also proven to be a different ability, because so many of them are able in ways in so many ways that they might not otherwise be able. You know, the gifted in ways that they might otherwise not be gifted. They're different and see the world in ways that absolutely challenge a neurotypical vision of the world. Yeah, and that's what we love about them. So tell me what it was like when all of these diagnoses that you've just mentioned there started to pop up. How did that come about and what were your feelings? Well, it's interesting. I've spoken to so many parents because we run parent groups. And I spoke to so many parents about the initial diagnosis and the reactions have been very, very many in varied, you know, for some people, it's a bit of a shock for some people it's almost like a disappointment for others. It's a surprise for others. It's an explanation. And I would say for us, well, certainly for me, it was in part an explanation. And also, in part, a sort of a wake-up call that said to me, this journey isn't going to be anything that you might have imagined. It is going to be. We don't know what it's going to be, but what we do know is that it's going to, it's going to plow its own field and chart its own course when we first got the diagnosis of our second and third Thailand and Arlo, the ones who are now 2016, which we got the autism diagnosis on the same day. Tai was 7. Aloe was three. What was
How To Help Someone At Risk Of Suicide
"We're going to talk about how you may be able to help someone who is suicidal now. My mom is a suicide attempt survivor. And this topic is really meaningful for both of us. Because there's so much shame and stigma that can make people who are suffering unable to safely talk about suicidal thoughts and feelings but as a society these days retu- we seem more open to talking about it. Certainly i mean we have a long way to go but yes we are becoming more open to talking about it. Yeah let's talk first about how prevalent suicide is right now. Well it's the tenth leading cause of death in the united states in two thousand and that's the most recent here we have data for About forty seven thousand people died by suicide and according to the american foundation for suicide prevention. About one point four million people attempted suicide that yet. But here's the thing about suicide. Research shows that suicide is preventable. Yes and there are things that friends and family can do that are genuinely helpful to someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts. A lot of times folks feel like suicide. Prevention is only something that professionals can do. That's decay quincy lassine. He's a psychologist and has struggled with thoughts of suicide himself and he chairs that lived experience. Division of the american association of suicide allergy and lean says that suddenly getting help from a mental health professional is a very important part of preventing suicide but there are things that each one of us can do when a loved. One is in despair and feeling hopeless. Often it is that simple stuff of showing that you care but in showing up for somebody and being there for them
In 'We're Not Broken,' Author Eric Garcia Takes On Myths About Autism
"In the beginning of your book. You mentioned that the writing began in part out of frustration and frustration specifically fueled by how media covers autism. What frustrated you about that. And what were you hoping to do about it in this book so i feel like the frustration i had about the way we talk about autism was that any conversation about autism began and ended with discussion about vaccines. I should say the completely false idea that vaccines caused autism. There is no evidence whatsoever about it and then there was the other part. Which is that if we want to get. We wind up getting past discussing vaccines. There's just a lot of discussion. about curing. autistic people are curing autism or combating autism or fixing autistic people and almost never. Was there any discussion about well. What is it that autistic people need right now. Even if you believe that there should be a cure which i really articulate that. I don't think that there should be cure that there can be a cure for autism. That's something that's a long way down the road and that doesn't really serve autistic people now and i also was frustrated that i felt like almost every discussion about autism focused mostly on white male adolescent boys and i felt like that was a very incomplete. Discussion about autism was a very incomplete excluded. Plenty of autistic people who. Don't that that categorization right right so it. Just it sounds like there's just a lot of myths that get perpetuated through the media which is all too common right and that this in part this was to dispel some of those that have been so pervasive precisely. I think that one of the things that i wanted to do was again to ball from the title of my book. Change the autism conversation to include as many people as possible. Because i felt that there were. There are a lot of pernicious ideas. About what the idea about whether autistic people can live independently or even even if they can't live independently live and they deserve to live in the community rather than institutions or the idea that autistic people can either not work or only work in a very specific sector of science technology engineering mathematics. And i also thought that there were a lot of misconceptions about whether people can have families or have legitimate relationships or legitimate
Is There a Link Between Certain Diets and Depression? With Dr. Neal Barnard
"Barr thank you very much for joining us to be with you. You ready for question number one. You bet all right this one comes to us from each four and a tour rights is a junk food diet more likely to cause depression. Well it's a great question. And and historically people have drawn a division whatever's below the neck. That's where i could have an effect but above above the neck no couldn't have any effect. Well the that foods might affect depression impressed in a favorable way through the right foods came to our attention as an accident. We were doing research study with geico insurance and the reason the reason we did this study and check you and i talked about this before the geiko national headquarters is about three or four blocks from her office and so they were really interested in the possibility that a plant based i might help them where they had employee wants to lose weight or get diabetes under better control so we instituted a program at geiko of a vegan diet both in the cafeteria and a weekly class for anybody who wanted to actually jump in and so although the purpose of it was to look at way changes and to see how he does. Diabetes might improve. We saw something else and that was depression. Started to lift. And you can do this subjectively where where you have. Individuals fill out a paper and soul questionnaire of specific symptoms. Are you sleeping. How's your mood. How's your appetite a whole bunch of indicators of depression and what we saw is that quite steadily. They were improving over the course of his site.
Dr. Michael Greger: How to Naturally Boost Brain BDNF Levels to Fight Depression
"Welcome to nutrition facts. I'm your host. Dr michael gregor today. We look at ways to mitigate a serious mental health disorder. Depression there's accumulating evidence in brain derived neurotrophic fact may be playing a role in human depression beady. Nf controls the growth of new nerve cells so low levels may explain the atrophy of specific brain areas. You see among depressed patients that maybe one of the reasons exercises so good for our brains. Starting our day exercise regimen within three months you can get a quadrupling obedient. F- reliefs from your brain. This makes sense. I mean anytime. We were desperate to catch prey or desperate not to become prey ourselves. We needed to be cognitively sharp. And so when we're fasting or exercising or an negative calorie balance. Our brain starts churning out. Bvd nf to make sure we're firing on all cylinders. So of course. Big farm as eager to create drugs to mimic this effect. But is there any way to boost enough naturally. Yes i just said it. Fasting and exercise. Okay okay but is there anything we can add to our diet to boost obedient. Well hiring takes dietary flavonoids appear to be protectively associated with symptoms of depression. The harvard nurses study followed tens of thousands of women for years and found that those who are eating the most to appeared to reduce the risk of coming down with depression. Flavonoids occur naturally implants. So there's a statue mountain variety of healthy foods. But how do we know. The benefits are from the flavonoids and not just from eating healthier in general. You don't know until you put it to the test. See some fruits and vegetables have more than others. Apples have more than apricots plums. More than peaches red cabbage. More than white kale. More than cucumbers. So if you randomize people into one of three groups more high flavonoids fruits and vegetables. More low flavonoids fruits and vegetables or no extra fruits and vegetables at all after eighteen weeks. Only the high flavonoids group got a significant boost and obedient f- levels which corresponded to an improvement in cognitive
Healthcare Reporter Dylan Scott on the Controversial Alzheimer’s Treatment, Aduhelm
"Here with dylan scott. Healthcare reporter at vox high in the first half of the show we were talking about this single minded focus on amyloid hypothesis which has sort of prevented these other ideas about how to treat alzheimer's from taking hold so i guess we're thinking about nowadays. What are the consequences of this type of attachment to a hypothesis. That hasn't really made a lot of progress. I mean first and foremost The record of alzheimer's drug development over the past few decades has been one of failure between one thousand nine hundred ninety. Eight and twenty fourteen about one hundred and thirty drugs. Went through clinical trials trying to treat alzheimer's disease and almost all of them have failed. But now we just got this brand new. Alzheimer's drug approved right first time in a while. Yeah this summer. The fda approved a drug. Finally the first drug in nearly twenty years for alzheimer's disease called cana mab and it has been developed by biogen one of the major pharma manufacturers in the world and they really got started testing this drug back in two thousand fifteen and what they found was there did seem to be an effect on the amyloid plaques but in terms of cognitive functioning patients did not really seem to be seeing benefit so this drug has done what other amyloid drugs have done in the past right. It does what it's supposed to do it removes the amyloid but patients aren't getting better. Yeah it seems so clear that in march of two thousand nineteen biogen announced. Like this isn't working. We're going to help these trials. This was another dead end in the pursuit of an alzheimer's trip. Okay same stories. Same result but they came back in october of two thousand nineteen with a surprise. They said that like after some of these patients had had been allowed to finish the treatment. They went back in two trials going simultaneously and they actually found that in one of those trials. According to their read the data there was a subset of patients who had actually seen a cognitive benefit from the disease.
Are You a Dieter or Disordered Eater?
"We're going to look at. How dieting and disordered eating are similar. We're gonna look at what disordered eating looks like. And then we're also going to talk about what you can do to heal from disordered eating how you can start to take action if this is something that you struggle with. So we'll start by talking about what disordered eating actually is. And then i'll share with you. How dieting is very similar to disordered eating so when we look at the definition of disordered. Eating it's really used to describe a range of irregular eating behaviors. And it's important to know that this is just a description. It is not a diagnosis. So disordered eating is not a diagnosis. But it doesn't mean that it's not a valid struggle which will talk about a little bit. Everyone who struggles with an eating disorder has disordered eating. But not everyone who has disordered eating struggle with an eating disorder. So i think that's a really important distinction here An eating disorder must fit a very specific narrow criteria in order to be diagnosed and disordered. Eating doesn't have to fit that particular narrow definition And also it's not a diagnosis. But here's the thing. I really don't want you to get caught up in the fact that there is no official diagnosis for disordered eating. Because that doesn't mean that your struggles aren't real. It doesn't mean that they aren't valid. You do not need a diagnosis in order to get support in order to ask for help in order to know that what you are going through is really
Robin Williams' Son, Zak Williams, on Mental Health
"This. Jump right into this week's conversation with zach williams zach alario michael. I'm great. i just got back from a road trip. And i'm feeling energized and excited about about the remainder of the year in what's become so thank you for spending time with us in your passion interest around mental health and how it fits into the modern workplace is something that feels like a tongue and groove for. We're trying to do as well. So can we start where it started for you and so let's go back. Why mental health and help paint the picture. And you're obviously. Your dad is going to be a major part of your story but why mental health for you. Well mental health for me started or at least thinking about mental health by my personal well-being started very early. On in my life. I had very obsessive traits as a child A lot of thinking involving symmetry and and repetition and That manifested through my teens and early adult life in terms of anxiety and trying to manage obsessive thinking and and that really came to a head After my dad by because i was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and was using things like alcohol. Self medicate to quiet my thoughts to quiet my mind in. That's wasn't tenable in the longer term for me. How old were you when you were diagnosed with. Ptsd thirty three which was to about two years after my dad died by suicide
Biopsychologist, Prof. Marion Hetherington, on the Effect of Psychology and Physiology on Appetite
"Professor. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me like i said. I'm very excited to dive into a lot of these topics. And i think something that might set the stage for people early on is when we think about this psycho biological approach to human appetite. You've written really excellently. In some of your work abou the mistake we might make if we were to consider appetite solely on the basis of physiology or psychology particularly when we think around what drives food intake and that they are inextricably linked wondering. Could you just frame that. For people of what is a the most accurate way we can think of that. Overlap between physiology and psychology when it comes to appetite unless a behavioral scientist. I'm very interested in human behavior. But you just can't get away from the fact that human behavior is driven by really strong physiological needs however food and in our society as everyone is aware is very much shaped by our culture by our cuisine by our environments and to great extent what we eat is powerful identity so when we think about psycho biology appetite. We're thinking about the behaviors that we express and we think about what drives those behaviors and in particular. I'm very interested in genetics. I'm interested in the genetics of obesity. For example and the way. I understand that is to think about the risk factors for obesity being highly heritable. And then ho. That's expressed in terms of behavior and i'm not saying that genes our destiny. I'm simply saying that. The genes are really important and as a psychologist. I need to understand a little bit about the heritage ability of some of these eighteen treats and risk factors for overweight obesity so that i can understand the behaviors
The Ongoing Health Costs Associated With 9/11
"To federal funds established after the attacks of september eleven. Two thousand and one have paid around twelve billion dollars over the years. The money went to first responders. The families of those who died or people have gotten sick as a result of the terrorist carnage. Medical claims have been increasing in recent years. Many from people with cancer marketplace's samantha fields reports on the ongoing health costs connected to that day twenty years ago this weekend. Michael o'connell responded to the world trade center as a firefighter on nine eleven and spent the next few weeks working at ground zero five years later he got sick. I know the exact date. It was december thirty first. Two thousand six new year's eve. He went to bed that night filling healthy but when he woke up the next morning i literally had swollen limbs swollen ankles all my joints were inflamed by body kind of blew up to like twice the size. It was a pulmonologist figured out that he had a rare autoimmune disease called sarcoidosis that was attacking his skin and joints and told him he'd gotten it from breathing in toxins. The material that responders and survivors were exposed to when the towers collapsed was quite toxic. Dr michael crane treats a lot of nine eleven first responders through the world trade center health program clinic at mount sinai so huge huge burning buildings collapsing. Everything inside is burning and it collapses down into a pile and then an enormous. Dust cloud a lot of firefighters. Police officers and others at ground zero started getting sick almost immediately. I with what they called the world trade center cough then. Ptsd and depression. And eventually years later cancers this exposure has a really really long tail anyone who develops any kind of illness linked to nine eleven can get free healthcare through the world trade center health program but michael bearish a lawyer for nine eleven survivors says there are likely a lot of people dealing with nine eleven related health problems. Who don't know they're
How to Be Happy With Marriage Therapist Tony Overbay
"Look at these things where it says. Here's how to be happy any article. That is something this. And i often apply it as a therapist who has now been seen clients for fifteen plus years and who has done a dramatic shift in my own therapy model from cognitive behavioral therapy of just change your thought and be happy to then realizing that that maybe doesn't work for a lot of people and a better way in my opinion is this acceptance and commitment therapy way or more like you're having thoughts and feelings and emotions because you're human being and so it's normal to have those thoughts and feelings and emotions now. What do you do with them in often. One of the biggest challenges for happiness in my opinion is we're going after the wrong mark too often were doing these socially compliant versions of happiness. Where we say no. I should be happy and therefore i should do these things that everyone else does. That makes them happy or at least it looks like it makes them happy on social media. Instagram facebook take all those kinds of wonderful things and if they look happy than i should be happy doing those things as but too often again. A socially compliant goal is something that we do because we were supposed to or we think that. If we don't do it we're gonna let somebody else talking. Let somebody down from spouse to apparent to even even god and so a socially compliant goal is really deep concept. Embrace it can be so liberating to say. Why am i doing these things. Why am i doing something that that i think will make me happy. If i really feel that my core is not something that really matters to me.
Bestselling Author Gretchen Rubin: Can We Be a Tiny Bit Happier?
"I feel like it is. It's just so easy to get swept up in the urgency of the to do list and and and not think about the bigger questions like Is this what i really want. Anyway or my or my neglecting more transcendent values. Because i'm just sort of taking care of the day to day so nice people think. Oh it's not good to think about your happiness all the time. And i'm like well i to at least for me i never thought about it Because i just never step back to say like. Is there any way that i could be. Is there any low hanging fruit. is there any. Yeah just stuck within my easy reach. That i could do. Yeah 'cause i just i can't ross myself back west. I think it was maybe in the an angela. Duckworth book on grit that. I remember thinking about that question of feeling like propelled. Because i was always may be over propelled through the world and i lived in kind of like middle distance where it was always. It was always someday wasn't today wasn't quite tomorrow and and it wasn't honestly till i was so sick that i couldn't i just physics. I physically couldn't do that. That i started thinking about. Some of the questions you're describing. It was some of that. Like how do i get it. Those bigger will i have. I'm not sure. I'll have all the time in the world to get to those big questions but now that i'm a bit humbled by circumstances and you know now that i'm taking part is there a person may be. I'm supposed to that. I should be instead because not entirely sure how to live. If i'm not just doing everything that's in front of me. But i think that's why there's so much value in your work. Kate is because you've sort of been forced to think about those big questions and you can kind of take us through your thinking and your experience and then. I think that helps us to think about doing it ourselves. Yeah certainly did not want to volunteer. Unfortunately but But you but you are so good at at helping other people think through those costume. Thanks gretchen get a lot of messages from people who are just kind of simul. Were also kind of undone. Like they've lost somebody that they love or they get they lose their job. They lose a dream or there or even just like they're on a relationship ends or their kids move out and this world that they loved no longer exists and then there are so many of us are forced into a kind of reevaluation that we don't even necessarily have time
There’s a Mismatch Between the Expectation and Reality of Happiness
"All know what it's like to want something that will make us happy. Maybe it's a dream vacation or getting a great job on meeting a soulmate. But all too often when we get what we want. Reality turns out to be very different than we expected at. The university of california riverside psychologists sonia loop amir ski explores the mismatch between what we expect will make us happy and what actually makes us happy. We began by talking about a moment when she felt this mismatch in her own life. She was in her thirties about leszek surgery to improve her ice up until then i had really poor vision. I was almost blind. I hated my glasses. And i hated my contact lenses and so i have the surgery. It takes like thirty seconds and then you go from being almost blind to twenty twenty vision. That's really miraculous right. And it was amazing. And i could see my toes in the shower. When i woke up in the morning i could see the alarm clock without searching for my glasses and when of walking the streets you know i could read the street signs. That was amazing to me but it took me about two weeks to get completely used to minute. Twenty twenty vision and then i started taking for granted and it became the new normal for me. I've worn glasses for for many years myself. Sonia and as you're talking about the wonders of of jury. I imagine the moment when i can take off my glasses and be able to see perfectly and of course. That's what i focus on when i think about getting surgery like you did. I'm not thinking of what happens. Two weeks after that exactly and whenever we think about sort of changes in our lives positive and negative. We often think about that moment. It's that moment that i call the news when you when you learned that. Oh my vision is perfect in a or you get that new job. You win the lottery but we don't sort of think about what happens you say and then two weeks to months two after
Is Social Media Placing More Pressure on the Younger Generations?
"Everyone who has a kid that age or even if you are that age like maybe you are john e or you are a millennial you can relate to what they are going through. It's just the same. It's incredible social. Scrutiny that just didn't exist. When i was a kid that didn't exist when many of us were kids unless you grew up in the social media ehrlich and when i say grew up meeting social media existed when you're in middle school you're saying then you don't even understand the level of pressure and the incredible increase of stress anxiety and self imposed pressure that social media places on these generations. He's younger generations. jen's e the. I guess they called the alpha generation and then the millennials like they are struggle with things that we just didn't even have to. We'd have to worry about what millions of strangers are tens of thousands or even a hundred or even forty strangers might think of kids. Today they think about everything their image i mean. Were you thinking about your image. You thinking about what strangers thought of you that you didn't know and other states i mean i wasn't. I mean sure. I was worried about what the kids at my school thought of me and kids today. They have all of that. Plus having to worry about like what the world thinks of them. And i know what you're thinking. Well but they don't have to post what they feel like they have to. It's crazy the amount of pressure and stress. That kids feel because of frigging social media. And you know it's not going away and it creates us again. Social comparison and social scrutiny. Where kids when. I'm saying kids. I hope you guys know them talking. Like millennials gen z. And really anyone who was born before two thousand and ten just to make things simple. I'm going to refer to those age. Groups says kids. Even though i know you might be listening right now. Your millennial your you know jen's and you're like wait a second. I'm an adult. I know but i'm just going to refer to like this whole big group as kids so this group kids which you may be a member of. It's a lot. It's so much more stress. Then what i think. People my generation had to deal
U.S. Judge Approves Deal Dissolving Purdue Pharma in Opioid Saga
"Drugmaker behind the highly addictive prescription. Painkiller oxycontin is formerly shutting down. We're talking about purdue pharma. Instead of selling opioids the company's resources will be put toward addressing the opioid epidemic mainly with addiction treatment and prevention programs. It will also compensate people and families who have been hurt by purdue products that was just one of the terms laid out in a wide ranging bankruptcy settlement. Judge approved this week. It also says the company's owners the sackler family will have to pay four and a half billion dollars to settle thousands of opioid related lawsuits. Without though this actors will be immune from any more lawsuits about opioids. And they'll still be one of the richest families in the world. They're worth about eleven billion dollars. A lot of states support. This plan saying it's the best way to help pay for a problem. That's only gotten worse. During the pandemic but others like connecticut. In washington planned to appeal saying the settlement shields. The sackler is too much from liability. They say the sackler is downplayed. How addictive opioids are while they aggressively marketed. Those drugs purdue pharma as a company has pleaded guilty twice for that but the sackler is have not been charged with crimes. At least not yet and they say they did nothing illegal or
How to Deal With Anxiety and Perfectionism
"Today. We're going to talk about something. That i can definitely relate to. I'm sure a lot of our listeners can relate to and that's a couple of things one of them being perfectionism and the other being anxiety. And i'd like to start with perfectionism and why understanding these things in the root of them is so important how they show themselves in our relationships in how we can do them better. So let's dive right in and maybe you can tell us what perfectionism is and we can go from there sir. So i'm so glad you're asking about these topics. Think they're important and the ven diagram of these two things anxiety perfectionism have so much overlap. So they're very very close cousins. The definition of what i guess. The lay definition of perfectionism is not necessarily or counter intuitively striving for perfection. But really it manifests as a sense of never been good. Enough and people don't often identify as perfectionist because not perfectionist. Stick in all of our life domains. I've had many people say to me. Well unclearly not a perfectionist. Because look at my house. It's a mess or i'm not a perfectionist. Because like i i don't plan ahead. I'm not super organized. But really any domain of our life whether that the productivity or appearance or you know cases it certainly could be cleanliness or you know the appearance of our house or could be work achievement or how good you perceive apparent you are any of these domains if we have this chronic a sense of never being good enough and striving striving for this that really taps perfectionism and the ultimate is. You know you're a perfectionist if you base your self esteem on striving achievement in a particular area so students might base their self esteem on their grades or somebody might base their self esteem on how much. They're accomplishing in their career. You could move to any domain of life and if you are what you do that taps into perfectionism.
Are You Overcompensating for Your Lack of Connection?
"We're going to find out how to turn off the desire to do these things. How to turn off the desire to overeat out of turn off your desire to overspend overwork drink. Too much laurel melons helped thousands of people stop behaving in ways that they say they hate but can't seem to stop. Laurel is a professor of family medicine at the university of california in san francisco and she has a new book out called the pathway the pathway and she says that the key to ending excessive behavior is mastering to skills self nurturing and setting limits. What does that mean. What it means is then the best of all worlds we would have been raised with parents and had the skill to nurture themselves so they could give that skill to us and they could set limits with themselves so they would set limits with us and if that happened to happen then by the age of six or eight or ten we'd be able to nurture ourselves and set limits and what that means is we would have to hear this connection. We would have emotional balance connection to ourselves intimacy with others spiritual connections. And i don't know about you but if you have all those connections working moment to moment throughout the day do you really need another cupcake. Do you really need another blouse. Do you really need another drink. It naturally turns off the drive. We soothe and comfort inside whereas all of that is your naming that i'm thinking i don't know nobody. But jesus has you don't have to have morbid all bran but anyway you don't have to have all of it all of the time but you know what life is a lot tougher than it was before a hundred years ago. You didn't need so much nurturing limits inside because what was going on. There was lots of nurturing outside. There was very slow lifestyle. There wasn't a lot of change so people overeat over work overdo all that overstuffed right overdue because they have lost a connection. They have lost this. They do not have sufficient skills and right now. We need a lot of them to be able to connect with themselves and create the kind of balance that makes the extra cookie not so necessary.
Can We Transform Criminals With Love? With Ex Convict Daniel Collins
"We lock people up in prison we eliminate crime. Now we die. We we take it out of the public. I put it in this private underworld right which sexual assault still happen. Which murders still happen in which drug abuse still happens. I mean everything's still goes on because our whole mindset is meant to be punitive and nothing about rehabilitating right then. We wonder why he wanted people to get better. You wouldn't throw them in a cage and the idea is that it's justified behind the criminals. But you're not taking society into account you gotta detach emotionalism from this. You gotta use some objective reason and look at it from a point of view that if you really want society to heal even the most harder we should never lower our human rights as a society are principles that we are guided by to meet those of our most sickened or hardened criminals. And that's what we do. We matched them at their level instead of trying to bring them up to the level of society and they need is love. And that's something. They probably have never got abs number and then issues. You're searching to fill a void and if the only thing that can make your energy flow through your body is to commit a crime or do something violent. Because that's how oppressed you were as a child is a baby could express yourself as a teenager growing up then. Of course you're going to resort. It's like it's almost scientific. The the human mind will resort to those types of things. If you are repressing any side of yourself. As in that's the thing i've had to d program myself in unlearn everything that i've ever learned about life about relationships with people you know like i said with faith with masculinity with Drug addiction and all the underlying issues. And i've done it without therapy. I've gone through trial and error bumping my hand against one million times and i still have issues with it. You know what i mean. I inner demons all the time. And i'm thankful that i've got some people that are helping out with it but this is the other thing you get out of prison. They don't offer this kind of access in prison in if they do. The label of being a psychological are being a site inmate in prison is not good you get thrown into camps so you could be like somebody who may be suffering from a high functioning person suffering depression or something. Yeah you need some but you will get thrown in the same box with the saint with the people that are way far. Going in the you know the level. It's a one size cookie cutter approach to mental health in
How to Identify Childhood Trauma With Kati Morton
"This has been going on for a long time that childhood trauma. We're childhood trauma primarily. Yes yeah this. What trauma is and how to identify. Who should be thinking about this. I think probably the broadest definition for trauma is anything that happens in her life that makes us fear for our safety or the safety of someone else and it is overwhelming to our system so much so that we are unable to process. In the moment. I tell people to think about feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. That that's that's the sign that you're in one of those moments and we want to talk about what happens to people when they're in a dramatic situation terms of their brain and psychology. Yes of course For people who don't know when when you are overwhelmed when our nervous system is overwhelmed it pushes us into what's called her stress response or what we usually call fight flight. And dr peter. Levin is a great example of the reason that we talk about fight flight freeze because when our body goes into the stress response readiness to take action right. Can i can fight this threat to my system or may safety or can i run away and it was his belief that when we can't do either of those which happens a lot more children right because we're not strong enough or fast enough. We can feel trapped. We go into that free state like play dead kind of situation. It is his belief and research obviously proves it that in the free state is is one of the ways. Ptsd in those symptoms are born because of that helpless. Like i like you said hopeless. Helpless feeling is is definitely what causes us to be traumatized. And there's actually a name for that neurologically it's called jacksonian. Disillusion where we see brains. Don't evolve into different systems. We sort of add stuff on top and we go from this fight or flight response. That is a fairly evolved. Mammalian thing to a deeper mechanism. That's in our brainstorm mediated by the vegas nerve we did. How many interviews a steven porges at least two or three probably theory. We he's going to give us the number of those those interviews and he talks about the political theory. How how the pro. Social emotional exchange system of the vegas nerve becomes not functioning when the free